Smoke and Ruin

One

Never remove a blade from a wound. Her mom's warning cried through the howling wind. Could her spirit see Halen now—read her frantic thoughts?

How else would her mom have known how desperately she wanted to let Dax sink to the ocean floor? He was a knife in her heart; if she let him go, death would follow.

Holding on tortured her worn muscles as she fought the waves from stealing his body from her grip. The unforgiving ocean shoved Dax forward, ramming his head into her jaw. Screaming, the salt water rushed between her lips, choking her breath. She was a siren—she wouldn't drown, but it didn't stop the ocean from trying to claim her.

She spewed out the brine as she shoved Dax back; not too far, just enough to hook her elbow through his. His limp body bobbed alongside hers, still unconscious since the moment their silver bracelets melded with their birthmarks. She feared any second now she may suffer the same listless fate.

Adjusting the water stone, she clutched the cylinder to her chest. This, too, she would gladly let slip into the ocean's depths if it weren't for the others. Her heart ached with the thought of Asair and Natalie; how his gaze had flashed with rage when she wouldn't leave his side. She had wanted to fight—her magick was stronger than Asair's—but Galadia's wand had required her protection.

Blinking the water from her eyes, she kicked toward the familiar shore. Dread swallowed her whole as her gaze drifted to her empty beach house. Rockaway was the last place she wanted to be, but where else could she go? At least here, Asair and Natalie could find her.

Her toes grazed the sandy bottom as a wave shoved her forward. She unhooked Dax, letting the next wave guide him to shore. She cast her gaze skyward as she made her way from the water. Clouds shrouded the moon, darkness her only friend. As she dragged Dax from the ocean's grip, she scanned the vacant beach, thankful winter lingered on the Oregon coast. Summer would bring bonfires, late nights, and parties, but right now, the beach promised to keep her secrets safe.

She ran up a way, setting the water stone between the rocks. Even without sunlight, the crystal blue wand shimmered. A part of her wished she could leave it behind; she wished she had never set eyes on the cursed thing, and that someone else's past and future was tethered to Galadia's wand.

A wave rumbled along the shore. Her gaze darted to Dax, his body catching in the current. "Oh, hell no!" She sprinted across the sand, hopping over a rock, bolting for the ocean before Dax drifted. "You're not getting away that easy." She heaved him to safety. Drained from the swim, exhausted from casting magick to push through the portal, she slowly dragged him toward the house.

"Can you even hear me?" She yanked him and his head rolled to the side with no response. She tilted him, being careful not to let his skull crack against the rocks, though the temptation to draw blood was great. His betrayal stung most. "I should leave you out here. It's what you deserve. Believe me, if those stupid bracelets hadn't melted under our skin, I would let the ocean eat you alive. I don't care what it would do to me."

She would welcome the pain of casting magick without the elixir remedy dragging her to the depths; face the fever, the puking, and even the nightmares if it severed the Guardian bond for good. Her birthmark glittered beneath the moonlight. A painful reminder separation wouldn't come that easy.

When she reached the garage doors, another wound stabbed her aching heart. She leaned into the doors as thoughts of her mom crushed around her. Her mom's warm smile, which had always brought her to a place of peace, flashed through her mind. Away from Asair, his magick, and the spell he had cast to mask her pain, her emotions flooded with sorrow. Halen had outrun grief, but now she was its captured prey.

Dax slipped from her grip, and she trembled, unable to go inside. She couldn't face this house alone. She glanced down at Dax. With his arms splayed at his sides, his skin a gray pallor, he could pass for a corpse. She sure as hell couldn't stay outside, either.

Swallowing back the rising tears, she punched in the alarm code. The double doors creaked open, stopping with a heavy thud. She scanned the street for signs of onlookers while she pulled Dax into the garage, ran back for the water stone, and hit the button, closing the doors. Her heart raced as she headed for the jar marked nails and scooped the key hidden within.

"Second chance key," she whispered as she envisioned her mom passing through the garage and dumping the jar of nails for the fifth time in a week, always leaving hers at the hospital. Halen held the key against her chest. She inhaled long and slow, trying to calm her rising tears. Her hand shook, unable to place the key in the lock, as if her body were fighting to let her enter, knowing once inside, she would succumb to the inevitable grief that awaited. But sorrow would follow no matter where she went. She opened the door.

The alarm sounded with steady, high-pitched beeps.

She punched in the code again, slamming the door, leaving Dax and the stone behind. Inside, loneliness nestled in her soul. She hugged herself tightly, staring at the bleak concrete walls as whispers of regret enveloped her.

You left them alone.

You should have fought.

You're weak.

You don't deserve the power.

Your mother is dead because of you.

With the tip of her toe, she skimmed the long fissures lining the concrete floors where she had cracked the ground when Ezra warned her about the Hunters. A lump swelled in her throat. He had sacrificed his life for Tage. Why couldn't Halen protect her friend?

You killed them too.

Murderer...

The weight of remorse dragged her to the cold, hard floor. She tucked her knees to her heaving chest. Why—why couldn't she have died instead? Sobbing into her soaking sleeves, she rolled to her side. She lay with her cheek pressed against the cracked concrete, wishing she could crawl inside and dig her way out of this hell.