When we first met . . .

Chapter 54🥀

"Is everything ok?" I ask can't hide my concern. Shawn is making me nervous a bit.

"Ok I'm just going to say it.." he says to himself, I think.

"Ok..... Shawn What is going on?!"

"A lot of celebs are going to be at the party, and I kind of told them about you before we broke up and now that they understood that you are the one coming to the party... they want to meet you." He says.

I let that sink in.

Oh my god... A lot of Celebes are going to be at the party? Oh my, and they know who I am?! What the fuck? This is exciting. I feel my cheeks heating up.

"So do you want me to tell them we broke up? Or..." Wait, what?!

"What do you mean? They think we are still together?!" I ask not believing he told anyone about me, really.

"Yeah, only Cam knows the truth.. and don't worry I didn't tell her what happened. I didn't want to talk about you without your promotion or to make you uncomfortable in any kind of way..." This is so awkward.

I have no idea why I said it, Why I agreed to this when I'm clearly trying to move on. "No. Don't tell them we broke up. I don't want to make things weird for you or me. And for everyone..." I say. "You can tell them we broke up after the party... don't to tell them that I'm coming as your ex, it will just be weird" I say. Now when I said it out loud... This is really weird. Why am I doing this again? Why am I even going to this party?

Who am I kidding I know the answer to that... I miss Shawn and I'm not ready to let him go just yet.

But this is just insane. I'm going to pretend to be dating Shawn... even though I still have feelings for him that I don't want. This is just fucked up.

"Really?" He sounds surprised. "yeah I don't want to make it more awkward than it already is." I say.

There is an awkward silence over the phone, and for a moment I think he hung up. "Look, I know we aren't really dating... but would you mind coming to my show in New York?" He asks.

The world stops. I would love to. But won't it be weird?

"Are you sure you want me there? Didn't we say we will try to move on?" I ask knowing full well whatever this is I'm doing right now isn't, "moving-on".

"I know... I just thought because you are in town so it would be fun if you'd come. It will make me very happy knowing you are somewhere in the crowd watching me... just being there really"

"You know what? Fine, I'll come." what do I have to lose? I mean, I was thinking about going to see him anyway. Why shouldn't I just go to the concert and have fun? "Wait really?" he says not even bothering to hide his excitement.

"Yeah... what do I have to lose? Since we started dating I learned your songs and I really love them. It would be really nice to go to your show actually knowing the songs." I laugh at myself. "No offense" I add.

"None taken.  So I'll talk to you about it when you lend. It's a bit late for you isn't it?" 

"Uh... no not really it's like 11 p.m. But yeah we can talk tomorrow" I say.

"Ok, good night," He says. I hang up and I walk back into the house to talk to that nice guy Noah, I think his name was. As I approach the kitchen, Where I last saw him, I see him with his tongue stack in some's girl's throat. I cringe for a moment before deciding to let it go and forgot about the shirtless guy.

I took myself a cup and filled it with tequila, and went out to look for My friends.

I walk outside with my tequila in hand, Everyone is in the pool and the music is so loud... it hurts my ears.

Maya is kissing this guy... I stare at her in shock, forgetting for a few seconds Ben and she had broken up And that Ben is actually gay. Or maybe Bi. I don't know anymore.

I just didn't expect to see her making out with anyone, that's for sure. Alex and Rachel are just hanging at the pool sitting at the edge withier legs in the water, red cups in hand. I join them.

It's really fun to just hang.... at a pool with my friends... I told them about the whole thing with Shawn and me. Well not really. I didn't tell them about the whole pregnancy thing, I told them we had a disagreement and that it turned into a big fight that ended up our relationship. I also told them that I'm thinking about actually going to see him... in New York... They didn't believe me at first, but when I got them to understand I wasn't joking they got really excited... Those are my friends. What can you do about it?

I had a really good time at that pool party.. we stayed at the party until like 2 a.m. and thank god I didn't drink that much oo I was the only I think like, I think it was a shot of tequila. So I was the one who took us back to the dorm... I am so tired, so the moment we walk in, I go straight to bed, with my bikini still on and I fall asleep immediately.