Never Go To A Stark Party

Chapter 15

Bucky woke up with a jolt, having felt something cold land on his stomach. He quickly shot his eyes open, defenses up, before realizing just what that "something" was.

"Natasha!" He grinned at the female happily. "I didn't know you were coming back so fast!" He ignored her hand on his belly and instead pulled her into a tight hug, not giving the woman one chance to get a word in.

Natasha laughed lightly and merely hugged back. "Geez, Barnes, you'd think I was gone for months with how tight you're holdin' me." She joked playfully before eventually pulling away from the brunette's hug. Her eyes trailed right back to where they were a few moments prior once they were separated.

"So..." She started, quickly glancing up at him. Bucky's mood quickly dimmed when he realized what she was going to say.

"So..." He repeated nonchalantly, trying to avoid the subject.

"So..." Natasha rolled her eyes as she planted her hand once more on his belly. "How have things been lately? Is the little stinker giving you trouble yet?" She smiled fondly at his stomach as she asked him the playfully affectionate question. As sharp as she was, it seemed that she didn't catch his reluctance to address their baby situation.

With a light sigh, Bucky--a bit unwilling, as he was nervous--lifted her hand gently off of his stomach. He ignored the confused look she quickly sent him and did everything but make eye contact with her. He really could have used Steve's presence right then.

Exhaling heavily, he began the descent of their conversation head-on. "Listen, Nat..." His teeth chewed on his bottom lip anxiously. "Steve and I, we, uh...well there's no other way to put this. We decided we aren't going to keep the kid. It's just...It's not safe. We're not safe." Unconsciously, he ran his hand through his hair, his long fingers running through a few knots.

The light pain from the tugging did a lot to keep Bucky from panicking that very moment, so he pulled at his hair a few more times before eventually continuing. "Steve is America's golden boy for God's sake...! And I'm a fucking HYDRA runaway! It's only a matter of time before someone catches me, before shit with Tony and Sam and every other fucking person that hates my guts decides to take me away or kick me out! Or until people catch wind of the fact that Captain fucking America and The Winter Soldier are having a family together!" A humorless laugh quickly left Bucky with a sharp breath, his hand once more tugging at his hair.

"Or--or, better fucking yet, people realize how insane it is that a man is pregnant, and they do what people have always done when they face something different." Bucky's eyes shot up to Natasha's as he spoke, panic laced in his voice and radiating from his aura. "They'll kill me. They'll kill the kid. They'll do something fucked up, and Steve or you will try and do something about it. And then they'll ruin you guys too."

He stopped speaking abruptly and began to pant, the rush of his words' escape leaving him breathless. His head hung as he did so. He, unashamedly, was terrified of what Natasha was going to say or do. She wouldn't do anything drastic, he knew that, but his fear of her doing nothing was what scared him the most. If she said nothing--did nothing--and only nodded her head, Bucky would lose his mind. He hated the disappointment in a person's eye when they looked at him--even if the person disappointed in him was someone he could give two shits less about.

Natasha, though, only stared at him for a few seconds before pulling his nearly-catatonic self into a hug. "James, relax." She murmured softly, though her tone was still as strong and dominating as ever; Bucky did what she said obediently and allowed his muscles to loosen up. "No one's going to hurt you or the kid. I swear. Sam and Tony aren't gonna do anything either, if they know what's good for them."

She pulled away slightly as she spoke so that she could make eye contact with him and push her words further--make him actually believe them.

"Now seriously, calm down. I respect your decision. It's your body, it's your's and Steve's choice."

When Bucky's eyes lit up at her words, she smiled softly and pat his cheek. There was a slight hint of disappointment though, which was just what Bucky feared he would see in her. "But I just..."

The veteran stared at her, waiting for her to finish intently. What would she say?

"I just...Nevermind. It's stupid."

"Nat." Bucky gripped her hand tightly when she did finish, her response not satisfying him in the slightest. It only, if anything, spiked his anxiety even more. "Tell me. Seriously. Nothing you say is stupid."

A soft chuckle left the redhead from the man's serious declaration. "Nothing? Well, I bet Clint would beg to differ." She smiled lightly before she proceeded to squeeze his hand back and then get up, eventually continuing where she left off. "What I was going to say was...what if you kept the baby?"

"Nat..." A sigh left Bucky, and he remembered again what regret felt like.

"Just keep listening." She ruffled his hair quickly, the touch a bit rough, then began to pace around. "Bruce and I, we've been thinking about leaving. We've been thinking about it for years, actually; we've just never had the right reason to. The world's always on the brink of collapsing, and neither of us really has the balls to just up and leave--it's always been inconvenient." She looked at him, hoping he was starting to understand where she was going, then resumed.

"Neither of us want to live like this until the day we don't save the day, and the bad guy wins. We've figured out what we want in life together, and that isn't it. Anyway," She smiled and sat back down next to him, her hand coming to rest on his shoulder. She pat it gently. "I'm sure you know by now that I can't have kids. The Red Room kinda...you know. Do you see what I'm trying to say, James?"

Bucky, after trying his best to process her words, shook his head. Truthfully, he didn't understand what she was attempting to say. What did her and Bruce have to do with him keeping the baby?

"Sorry, Nat." He answered apologetically, which in return only gave him an exasperated smile. The woman remained patient, though. She was always good at being patient.

"What I'm trying to say is..." Natasha's hand, which was still on his shoulder, gripped him a bit tighter. She was anxious, and Bucky could tell. "I want you to carry the baby. For me and Bruce."