SILLAGE 𝘭𝘪𝘤𝘢𝘴

vingt-un

It seemed like almost a week had gone by, a week after losing my mind, after losing you, after drowning myself in my own disappointment.

A week, it took a week for me to finally feel something.

I felt a shiver go up my spine and a pain flutter through my chest. I couldn't breath, it felt as if everything movement made the pain ten times worse than it already worse.

I cried out for help but of course, nobody could see or hear me. I had gone blind, my sight was filled with white as I lay there in my own suffering.

My skin was skinning itself alive, burning all over in nothing but pain and breaking itself.

After what seemed to be hours, everything subsided but it was when I felt that something was wrong.

I was back in our apartment, but I could see the difference in everything. Everything was full of light, I stand up from the ground and I took notice of my outfit — I was dressed in a white blouse and pants, I was barefoot.

The walls were painted a lighter skin of yellow compared to our previous blue walls, the pictures were back in place and the glass that held them in good as new.

I look out the window to see the day looking so bright, but I still felt something wrong.

"... No, no, no, no, no," I start to chant repeatedly and my eyes widen with fear, my hands coming up to my hair and gripping. This couldn't be it, but I felt it in my bones.

I ran to our room, my heart stops when I wasn't able to go through the door like I used to, my hand hesitates but it trembled as it reaches to the doorknob.

I felt the cold the metal transmitted, I twisted it open and light blinds me.

Our curtains flutter into the room past the window sill, everything looked so different. Light illuminated our bedroom, everything was in place, I felt the breeze come in and I blink once, twice before my eyes avert down.

Tears come to eyes and I take a step back, I was careful not to fall on the ground from Alamo's losing my balance but I let out cries.

You were there, Lisa, laid on the bed, looking as peaceful as ever. Dressed in a white dress that was long-sleeved but going down to inches above your knees, your hair wasn't as mess as I remember from the last moment I saw you, your skin wasn't the pale colour from before, it was back to normal, you looked okay, Lisa.

But I knew you weren't.

I reached out for you, at first not really believing you were there, my hands halt before touching you. They tremble as they feel the warmth from you, the softness of your skin I haven't felt in what seemed forever, but I only continue to cry.

"Lisa..." I whisper your name while tightening my grip on your arms, shaking your body awake. "Lisa, what have you done."

From one look over your body, your neck caught my attention. The marks on the skin were faint but I could tell what you've done.

My head falls to your chest as I continue to cry out for you, "Lisa, please, please, please, wake up!" I embrace your body. "Wake up, Lisa!"

And through the silence, your whisper finally came through. "... Yukhei?" Looking up, I meat your confused eyes and tears burst through even harder.

"Lisa!" I sobbed put your name and having pulled your body up, embracing it even more tightly. "Lisa, what've you done!"

"Yukhei... I..." You start to stutter. "I'm sorry — aren't you happy?"

"Happy?" I pull away, taking your cheeks in my hands. "Lisa, you took your own life! Why would you do such a thing!" Before you could say anything else, I attached my lips to yours, longingly kissing them before pulling away. "I wanted you to be happy, I wanted you to move on even if it meant without me, I wanted to watch over you as you continue to live..." Your eyes were filled with pain, I stop speaking.

I saw the tears come through, and I pull you close again, kissing your forehead and running my fingers through hair, as they felt like silk beneath my fingers. "... But that doesn't mean I'm not happy. I'm just not happy you did this to yourself."

"I'm sorry, Yukhei." Your hands grip the back of my blouse, wrinkling the material of it. "I'm sorry, but I just can't live without you, it hurts too much!"

I nodded along with your words as you look up to me, "please, please don't leave now that we can be together!"

"Lisa..." I whisper your name and you instantly start to calm down, I take your hands in mine m, sitting on the bed and kissing the tips of your fingers.

Our eyes meet and I stare at you lovingly. "I will never leave you." I whisper, you start to smile. "And now that we are here, I hope you know the ride you're in for with me for the rest of your life."

You let out a laugh, stray tears being wiped away by my thumb as you lean into my touch. "I've never felt so happy..." you whisper. "I'm happy to have you back."

"I'm happy to have you back." I pull you close and crash our lips gently onto alone another, breathing your scent that I remembered oh, so well, feeling the warmth of your skin beneath mine and enlacing our fingers together as I drop us back into the mattress.

Your giggles sounded like music notes to my ears and you are the only thing that fills my mind, I am the one who has never been so happy like this.

Even though the circumstances are unfortunate, our ending is sad, both losing our own lives. But we are together and to me, that's what finally matters.

We are in our own paradise, by ourselves, where nobody will come in our way.

As I pull away, I see you smile and you bring me down to your embrace.m, to which I return without thinking twice. You whisper sweet words to my ears much to my delight, and I roll our bodies in between the sheets as only our laughs fill our new world.

This is our ending. And nothing has ever been better than this.