SPIES FOR HIRE
Remember in old movies when people would
hire Private Eyes to investigate?
How would you like to hire a group of international
Private Spies to investigate for you?
Call our offices today for a consultation and find
out what we can find out for you!
PS, please don’t call, be an adult and text.
Cheers!
“Okay, come see what you think.” Majandra pushes her chair back from her desk and moves aside to let her bosses read the ad. Majandra is a short woman, only five feet tall, with dirty blonde dreadlocks and sun kissed skin, thanks to the local tanning salon. Her short stature appears even smaller next to her bosses, Upla and Vladimir, who, for lack of a kinder way to phrase it, have the appearances of men who need a forklift to bring them to work.
Majandra glances skyward and says a quick apology to God or any karmic force that may have heard her less than nice thought.
Upla and Vladimir could be twins. Both men are over six feet tall, on the positive side of four hundred pounds, and of Asian descent, despite Upla growing up in South Africa and Vladimir in Russia. They met about six months ago at Comic – CONnecticut. Two spy movie nerds that decided to open their own PI firm after bumping in to each other and being shocked at their similar appearance. But why should I judge? Majandra thinks as she pours herself a cup of coffee. They decided to open a business together because they look alike – she’s been to several weddings where the couples didn’t even have that much in common.
“Yes, I think I like it,” Vladimir says in his thick accent. Around clients he tries to sound more American, but he still struggles, despite living in New York for seven years.
“Should you put a phone number on it?” Upla asks. He never tried to hide his accent on account of most Americans thinking he’s British, and Americans being enamored by the British accent, but thinking the Russian accent sounds villainous. “And do you think it’s insulting to ask our potential clients to be adults?”
“That was a joke,” Majandra says with a roll of her eyes as she sits back down at her desk and pushes the backspace button.
“And ending it in ‘cheers’?” Vladimir asks as he makes his way back to his desk. The office is a large room with three desks; one set up by the door for Majandra to great clients, and then two nicer desks several feet behind her. There is a Shoji Screen behind Majandra’s desk to give some sense of privacy to clients as they speak with Vladimir and Upla.
Clients: a term used very loosely as there has actually only been one client at this point
“Oh, I thought it made you sound classy,” Majandra says. She accentuates the “ahh” in classy, a remnant of her growing up in Ann Arbor. “You know, like Murder, She Wrote or Poirot.”
“I guess enough people do think you’re British,” Vladimir says to Upla.
Upla rolls his eyes as he sits down. He looks at the office bank book and does some quick math. “Go ahead and remove the bit about texting, and put the phone number and email on it and send the ad in.”
Majandra makes the changes and squints at the screen. “Adding the email makes it twenty-two characters longer,” she says, pulling an apologetic face.
