the siren |peter parker x siren!oc|

Serenity Part: 20

Lena had never been this angry in all of her life. Becoming semi-numb to human emotions in the first 63 years had blocked out this kind of rage. If she were to become this angry in front of her former sisters, it would have put her life at risk. Now that the walls were being broken down, she realized that seeing this collection of notes that Peter had taken on her filled her with a fiery rage that would take an extreme amount of convincing to tame. She felt the smoke that followed Miss Potts surround her.

He looked shocked, and the first emotion that started running through his mind was regret. Deep, deep regret was a bottomless pit in his stomach. She flipped through the pages, skimming the dates, the sketches, the different data logs he had created. It made her feel disgusting, as if she was some sort of science experiment that he only took interest in for his research.

"STUDYING ME?!" it was all she could say. It was all she could think. She could feel the tears welling up behind her eyes, but she was getting tired of that, too. All she did now that she was emotionally vulnerable was cry. She threw the notebook, hard, at his feet.

"Lena you weren't supposed to see that until-"

"Until? Why could I not see it, Peter. Explain! Why!" she was surprised that she did not speak inside his head. Articulating out loud was even more difficult with the passionate emotion tumbling through her system.

"It-it looks worse than it actually is let me explain-"

"Explain, Peter!"

"If you could calm-"

The rage built, and this time she spoke in his head, DO NOT TELL ME TO CALM DOWN.

His eyes widened, the anger blinding him briefly. That's why she did not want to speak in his head. It was harming him.

"You're...you're right. I shouldn't have said that. Could you stop doing that, though? It's hurting me."

She took a deep breath, "I am sorry."

"You're fine," he was panting, partially from the panic and partially from his vision giving out, "Mr. Stark wanted me to take notes on your progress in case I got something that Dr. Green missed. It was my intern work. I was going to show you...as your school gift."

She softened, the red creeping into the corners of her eyes going away, "Gift?"

"On your first day. The sketches were drawn by my friend. I described you to her. You're going to meet her and..."

It felt like too much. The anger from finding out his secret to trying to understand exactly what he had been trying to go for. Her head was pounding, as if her brain was going to pour out of her ears. She yelled and punched a wall, silencing her brain and bringing a sense of clarity she had not anticipated.

She had not made a dent in the wall, but when she pulled her hand back, a few of her knuckles were bleeding. Peter looked at her, horrified.

The regret that Peter had felt was starting to transfer to her. She had misinterpreted the situation completely and was left to look like a barbaric fool. She held back more tears, remorse replacing the anger. Her brain was crashing within her skull. She crumpled into the chair by his desk, putting her face in her hands. There was a feeble wall keeping her tears from pouring out, and it almost broke when she felt his hand on her back.

"I am sorry," she whimpered.

"No, I'm sorry. I should have just told you earlier and..." he trailed off again, and when she looked up he was running his hand through his hair. "Everything feels like it's going wrong."

She understood. She wanted the same thing he did, and he just did not know it. It made her think that she should hold back on her physical affection until she was able to explain what loving her entailed.