Wordless Conversations // Phan (sequel to Bring Me Home)

12

I told Emma I was going out, before grabbing my keys and making my way out of the apartment.

I could get a taxi, but I chose to walk.

It gave me time to think.

You think too much - it just works you up.

It's fine, be quiet.

The chair next to Phil's bed had almost become my second home. I'd spent so long there, I was almost amazed they hadn't labeled it for me.

Hours I'd spent here, staring at his steadily beeping heart monitor, his messy hair, his pale skin.

I felt like I was missing something.

With Phil gone, he'd left a hole behind.

An emptiness I couldn't fill.

And it just kept getting bigger.

"Dan? Is that you? Yes it is!"

I turned as Pj launched himself towards me, arms outspread, enveloping me in a hug.

I sat there, frozen. I didn't know how to move. What to do.

Eagerly pulling a chair up beside me, he sat down on it and started to make conversation.

"No change, then?"

"No."

"He'll wake up soon, I'm sure."

"I hope so."

A pause as Peej struggled for things to say in return to my short answers.

"How are you?"

I swallowed. "Fine."

"Dan..."

"I am. Please, just drop it."

"No! Dan, you can't just let yourself slip back down again now! You spent so long fixing yourself - you need to keep yourself together while Phil is recovering! I can see you're not okay - you're sad, quiet, you're pale as fuck - and the bags under your eyes suggest to me you haven't slept in a long time, either! You look skinnier, too - do you want to end up in a bed next to Phil?"

I looked down, hiding my face from Peej as a tear slipped down my face.