The Struggles Of Waiting ✔

NINE

2074

"Mate, slow down, it's not a race!" Isaac exclaimed with a laugh. Jaden looked at him with narrowed eyes and continued to shovel pasta into his mouth.

Alexander chuckled. "Well, at least I know someone likes it," he said. He'd cooked the three of them dinner, something he didn't do all that often. Years ago, Philip had taught him how to cook pasta. He would never make as well as the dead man did, but Jaden seemed to like it.

Jaden swallowed his food loudly. There was a pasta stain on the corner of his mouth that Alex couldn't draw his eyes away from. "This is amazing! Who taught you how to cook like this?" he asked.

Alex shied away from the compliment, his gaze drifting down to the table. "An old friend of mine," he replied. If only Philip had taught him how to cook other things, but Alex had been far too focused on being able to make the pasta he liked so much.

"I should thank them then," Jaden said with a groan. "This is so good."

Isaac laughed at him. "Calm down, it's not that good." Jaden gave him a look Alex could only describe as disappointment. "Okay, it is, but still."

They were quickly eating before the others showed up. Isaac had organised a games night with Amelia, Lucy and their many friends Alex couldn't remember the names of. There were far too many of them for him to keep track of. Part of him wanted to hide away in his room for the night, but Jaden had asked him to stick around.

He was a bit of a pushover when it came to the other man. Every time Jaden asked him to hang out with him or with his friends, Alex would jump at the opportunity as if he were still the introvert he used to be. He didn't even talk to Isaac and Jaden's friends that much. Whenever he went out, he spent the whole time talking to the two men.

The knock at the door didn't come until he was cleaning up the dishes the three of them had used. Jaden was drying next to him, the pair in a comfortable silence. The sound of Isaac cheerfully greeting his friends reached his ear and Alex sighed in preparation for the long night ahead.

"No need to sound so put out about all this," Jaden said behind him, his breath warm against Alex's skin. He didn't turn, not matter how much he wanted to. "I know you don't like actually talking to people, but it's not going to be too bad." He chuckled lightly.

"I like talking to you," Alex said and winced at his words. He had a bad habit of speaking before he could properly think about whenever he was around Jaden. It was awful.

He didn't want to see the look on the other man's face. It was probably something akin to amusement and shock. "Well, my friends are just like me," came his soft voice. "You'll like talking to them too. You've done it before." It wasn't what he expected to hear, but he was grateful that Jaden didn't point out the stupidity of his remark.

"That's true," he muttered. He had talked to them before, a couple of times. He liked them, but some days he felt that they didn't like him.

Jaden placed a hand on his shoulder. "You're having one of those days, aren't you? Where you don't want to talk to people?" he asked. Alex nodded. He had a lot of those days over the years. It was so much easier to not talk to people, to not get close to them. Constantly losing people scared him, pushed him not to speak to anyone. It reminded him on the anxiety he had in his early teen years, so long ago.

"Hey, losers!" Amelia called from the living room. "Get over here and say hello."

Jaden shared a glance with him. "See? You'll be fine," he said.

"I know," Alex replied with a small smile. "I'm just being an idiot."

"You're not. Don't say that. There's nothing wrong with being a little anxious," Jaden said. He took his hand off his shoulder and wandered into the living room. Alex followed close behind and tried to smile at the group of people standing there.

Alex parked himself on the couch and watched as Jaden was hugged by everyone else in the room. They all loved him, and he could see why. The man was friendly and supportive of just about everything. His grin and laughter were infectious and even when he felt anxious, Jaden's attitude alone was enough to cheer him up.

"How are you doing, Alex?" Lucy, Amelia's soulmate and a friend of Isaac and Jaden, asked.

He nodded to her. "Not too bad," he said.

"I haven't seen you around in a while."

"I've been working," he said with a shrug. She nodded to him in understanding but said nothing more. Alex startled when Jaden sat down next to him, their arms brushing together. He tried to shuffle away out in instinct but found himself stuck between the arm of the chair and Jaden's warm body.

Isaac booted up the game quickly, excited to play something he hadn't in a long time. Alex had never played before in his life. He was never one for flashy consoles and complicated games. He missed the old arcades he used to go to with Sarah. They were much more fun and much more simpler.

Still, he joined in when it was eventually his turn. It was just some racing game, which wasn't overly complicated, but he still sucked at it and had to pass on his controller after only one race. It reminded him of the games Sarah's children would play when they were teenagers. At least this group wasn't getting angry after they lost a race. The laughed and joked with each other.

"How are you going?" Jaden whispered to him after another race. Alex shrugged but didn't reply, his eyes fixed on the screen. "I feel kinda bad for forcing you to talk to people, but it always seems to turn out well afterwards. I think it's just getting you to come out of your shell in the first place."

"I'm not the best with people," he replied.

Jaden shrugged and knocked his shoulder against Alex's. "There's nothing wrong with that," he said. There was a small smile on his face and as he stared at him, Alex felt a smile pull at his own lips. Curse this man and his cheerful attitude.

Alex's hand itched to reach out a pull Jaden closer to him, but he ignored it. He couldn't get that close to him. It was already too late to stop them from being friends, but anything more than that was too dangerous. He wasn't ageing. Getting that close to Jaden would only lead to horribly familiar heartbreak.

He could only hope that if he became long term friends with Jaden and the others that he found his soulmate not long after. That way they wouldn't die while he still looked young, just like everyone else. But it had been so long. Was it even possible to find them anymore?

He shook the thoughts away. He was meant to be having a good time playing games with people he might be able to consider friend. Instead, he was wallowing in his own sadness next to a man that tried so hard to make him happy. "I don't know what you went through," Jaden said so quietly only Alex could hear him. "But if you ever need to talk, I'm here."

"Thank you," Alexander replied. But he knew he'd probably never talk to any of them about it. To do so, he'd have to reveal he'd been lying to them about his age and who he was. He'd screwed himself over when he'd started lying about who he was. If he ever told them, they wouldn't even forgive him. Maybe it was a sign to only keep them around for as long as he was on the farm.

Even as he thought the words, he could feel Jaden's warm body pressed against his on the couch. There were too many of them trying to fit in the tiny space. It was too cramped. Jaden was kinder to him than anyone had been in a while. Maybe he could at least keep in contact with him. He sighed loudly. Friendships were far too confusing.

He glanced over at the others still playing the game. Amelia, her hands empty of a controller, looked back at him with a knowing smirk. Her gaze flicked briefly to Jaden and her smirk turned into a grin. Cheeks hot, Alex looked away and tried to squirm further away from Jaden without making it too obvious.

He sighed and took the controller when it was handed to him. He faced off against Jaden and as he expected, he lost. The younger man laughed at him good naturedly and bumped his shoulder again. Despite the nervousness and the raging thoughts within him, playing with a group of cheerful people was better than he expected. He didn't have to worry about what he said or did. Jaden was a warm presence next to him, ready to comfort him if he got too stressed out. Later, he would thank Jaden for forcing him along. Even if he was worried about the future, it didn't mean he couldn't have a good time. It didn't mean he couldn't have friends while he worked on the farm. He'd spent too much time being lonely. Maybe for a year, he could have a break from it.