Delicate | harry styles

one | ✔

Two months. It had been two months since he had left us, since he had been taken from this world. It's funny how everyone thinks that God is a good person. He obviously isn't because he takes away the good people. He takes away the people that are needed the most.

God is selfish. He takes them for himself, leaving us with nothing. Leaving us empty and mourning. I prayed, begged for God to give him back to us. I prayed everyday for God to bring my Ben back. I wanted him to take me instead. 

It just wasn't fair.

I knew that mom and my stepdad, Nathan hated it when I talked like that but I couldn't help it. I wanted God to take my life instead of Ben's. A tear escaped from the corner of my eye and slid slowly down my cheek leaving a cool trail behind it.

Mom had told me that I was supposed to be grateful, to be thankful that I wasn't the one that died in the fire, that I should be happy that it was Ben who died instead of me. I had shouted at her to never say anything like that ever again. I lost it. I became hysterical and nearly killed her. Thank goodness Nathan was there to hold me back.

That incident was why I was being sent away to Cheshire to live with my dad. My parents decided that it would be better if they split up since they could never agree on anything in any situation, including the dress I was going to wear to junior prom.

While mom was loaded with millions upon millions of pounds, dad was earning a small salary. The only difference? Dad was actually happy. I knew mom was miserable without dad. It wasn't because Nathan was a bad person, - because trust me, she would've kicked him out by now if he was -  it was because dad had been there for her, dad had been there with her through everything.

I knew she would never be able to forget that. I knew that she would never be able to forget the moments when dad was there when she needed him the most. Tomorrow, I was leaving everything behind. I was leaving all of my fake friends from my stuck up private school, I was leaving mom and her fake posh accent behind, but I wasn't leaving the memories behind.

Ben's death would haunt me forever. Nobody would ever be able to replace Ben, his smile, his laugh, his eyes. I shook my head vigorously trying to shake the thought, the image of Ben out of my head but it wasn't working. Once I started thinking about him, the images wouldn't stop hitting me. Each one ended up hitting me harder than the last.

I saw Ben yelling for everyone to get out of the house. Someone's lighter had fallen into a cup of alcohol and it had started a massive fire. I was screaming and pulling on Ben's hand but he was determined to get everyone out of the burning house, especially me.

With one hard push, Ben pushed me out the door. I screamed and cried as the house irrupted into flames. I looked around frantically trying to find Ben, my Ben. I prayed that I would see him at any minute, that he would come running up to me with his arms wide open soothing me and telling me it was going to be ok. 

But he never did. Ben's life had ended before it had even started. His life had ended trying to save people he didn't even know. His life ended trying to save the girl he loved the most. That girl was me.

Before I knew what was happening, I felt someone shaking me. Shaking me out of my trance, out of the whirlwind of memories. My eyes flew open abruptly only to be met with golden-brown eyes that I only knew too well. "N-Nathan," I whimpered as he pulled me into a tight embrace.

I sobbed into his shoulder as I fisted his white shirt. I could hear a shrill ringing in my ears and my surroundings spun in a whirlwind around me. My head pounded like the bass part of a song and spirals of colors flashed before my eyes.

My grip on Nathan's shirt loosened as I felt my arms and legs become jelly. My whole mind became numb and my breathing turned erratic. I could hear Nathan whispering that it was going to alright. He wasn't aware of what was happening to me, what was happening to my body.

I cried out as I felt my head throb and pulsate. Nathan's yells for help were only a background noise as I felt the darkness pulling me in. Engulfing me in itself. Sharp pains hit my head like I was being shot in the head multiple times. It felt like I was dead but I could hear, see, feel everything.

One last hit knocked the air out of me as I felt myself go limp in Nathan's tight hold. "Stay with me Evie! Stay with me Evangeline!" I could hear the yells and the screams. Ambulance sirens rung in my ears. I wanted to speak, wanted to scream out but I couldn't.

Before I slipped away into the darkness, the last words I said were I love you and then I was gone, for I knew that those 3 words weren't meant for anyone other than him. My Ben.

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A / N ;

Before you say anything, yes, I did rewrite this chapter. I wasn't happy with the chapter I wrote previously and I didn't really have any ideas for where that story was going to go with that story plot. The 'coming-home-for-the-holidays' vibe didn't seem too appealing although this story plot kind of has a similar plot to the last chapter -that's some excessive usage of the word plot- but it's really different in its own way.

To the readers who read the previous first chapter -which wasn't that great anyways- I apologize. I hope this one made this book seem more exciting ;) So um, you should totally add this book to your library and follow me because I love interacting with ya'll babes. Also vote and comment because that's what keeps your girl going :') I love how this story is going so far and I kinda want it to have some 'The Lovely Reckless' vibes because I love that book so freaking much.

Also, I DID make the book cover because I'm all that and a bag of lettuce. I hope to see you rose buds in the next chapter because things are about to get heated up in here - whoop, whoop - I love each and every single one of you, remember that and if you ever wanna talk to me about anything, my DM's are always open :3

See you guys in the next chapter,
- Brianne xx