Hello! Thank you for reading this chapter! I'd like to bring up something I think we see often in fanfiction and writing in general if you could please take a minute to read this. The title of this chapter is insecurities. Everyone and I mean everyone struggles with insecurities! After reading and having experience writing fanfiction, I think we can all agree that it mostly consists of unrealistic plots and especially characters. Usually, the main character is what society considers "ideal" in terms of body type (and other things tbh). I'm not trying to blame others because I have done this too, regarding character development. I just want you to know that it's okay to have insecurities, even the models you may look up to have them. I have them too! BUT, I am in no means trying to glorify insecurities in this chapter and throughout the book. (and real life too) I just want you to simply enjoy what I put out:') Hell yeah fanfiction is full of fantasies and is unrealistic at times, and I want to write and read that haha. But I also want to address that no one is perfect, even the characters in here. (technically the character is you hehe) Ok, sorry for ranting, I hope you enjoy! xx
P.S: I'm not trying to say that you have to lose weight to be happy. No matter what shape and size you are, you can be happy and confident. Whatever makes YOU feel the best! <3 I really do mean this!
.
Y/N's POV:
My eyebrows furrowed as I scrolled through the hateful comments on my Instagram post. I've never really gotten much hate on social media until I started dating Daniel. When the word got out, I used to get a couple comments every now and then but that never really bothered me because I knew that sadly dating someone famous comes with a price. I threw my phone on the side of my bed next to me and huffed a sigh. I used to be overweight when I was growing up and struggled with my confidence and body image. I don't consider my body type "ideal". I have a lot of curves, but I'm confident and am not afraid to show my body off. I've gone through weight loss but developed a lot of stretch marks.
My fingers trailed over my thighs and stomach, looking closely at the marks that covered me. I looked at the connected bathroom on the other side of the room and the idea of a shower popped into my head. I got up and retrieved a towel and turned the water on until it was warm and steamy. I closed the shower door behind me and let the water pour over my body. The water felt much like a warm embrace from Daniel who was out of the house recording in the studio. I smiled remembering my wonderful boyfriend who has made me so much more confident and happy, besides the hate comments that followed.
10 minutes later I turned the handle and stepped out of the shower, wrapping my wet hair in a turban. I mentally cursed realizing I forgot my other towel and grabbed one under the sink. My gaze met the mirror and I knew what was going to happen. I stood up fully and a tear slid down my face. Those comments about the thickness of my thighs and the stretch marks on the sides of my hips enveloped my mind. The comments reflected what I saw. I couldn't take it anymore and let the tears flood down my face.
The thought of Daniel popped into my mind and I sobbed harder. Why was he with me? He could easily have almost any girl he wanted, but he chose me? I tried to control myself. But I felt like a liar because of the fact that I have been so confident for Daniel, but deep down I'm broken and still am the insecure teen I used to be.
The front door of the apartment swung open and I heard Daniel softly yell that he was home.
Shit. I quickly tried to wipe my tears, but I was wiping my face so harshly it turned redder. His footsteps grew closer and closer and I stood up straighter grabbing a comb off the counter and pretending to casually brush my wet hair.
"Hey darling" he smiled.
"Hey" I replied, but my voice was hoarse and came out as a whisper.
I avoided his eye contact, but even though I wasn't looking at him, I could tell he was confused and worried.
He stepped closer to me, "..Y/N, are you o-"
I let the tears I was holding back slide down my face, too weak with emotion to even respond to Daniel's strong, yet comforting embrace, hold me.
"Baby, what happened?" he softly questioned, rubbing circles on my back through the towel. He snaked his hand around my neck to let his hand rub the actual part of my back. I shivered, the lump in my throat growing. We just stood there for a minute, and I finally wrapped my hands around his waist, the tears starting to fade. I finally resurfaced from the crook of his neck as he wiped the tears off my face with his thumb that caressed the side of my face.
I let myself meet his gaze, staring into his beautiful ocean blue eyes, immediately comforted.
"You can tell me, baby." he softly whispered, a worried crease between his eyebrows.
My mind was so foggy, and I simply just said, "I'm not good enough for you."
His expression turned blank. He let out a shaky sigh.
"Y/N, why would you think th-"
I cut him off, letting my thoughts pour out into words. I told him how he could get any girl he wanted, yet he chose me. That I had ugly marks on my body that would forever remind him that my body was imperfect. People think I'm not good enough for him. Then I told him that I love him. So much. And I cried as I told him I never wanted to lose him because he made me feel so loved and happy. He stopped me and smashed his lips against mine. I was surprised, but accepted it, deepening the kiss. We pulled away and his forehead rested against mine. He looked at me, eyes watering from what I just told him and said weakly,
"Y/N. You may think that you aren't enough, but you are more than enough. I'd never want to lose you either. I'm not interested in any other girl, even the ones you claim are prettier than you. No one is prettier than you in my eyes. You are my everything. I dated you for how genuine, kind, caring, hilarious, and beautiful you are. I couldn't believe my eyes when I first saw you, and I still can't. You're mine babygirl. And I never want to hear you say that you aren't good enough for me."
His glossy eyes met mine and looked down at my body that he was caressing. He slowly brought his hands down to where my stretch marks were and smiled.
"These marks aren't ugly to me baby. They symbolize how strong you are and how much you've been through."
I grabbed his face and brought his lips with mine. I felt like fireworks were going off inside of me and his touch surged energy through my body.
"I love you." I smiled.
"I love you more. Now let's get you in some comfy clothes," he replied.
He walked over to his closet and pulled out my favorite t-shirt of his and some sweatpants. He brought them to me and let me get dressed in the bathroom. I giggled at how cute he was, bringing me his clothes and letting me change privately even though I didn't care.
I walked out and fell into the bed beside him curling up to his side.
"Hey you," I giggled.
"Hey, beautiful" he replied grinning.
I fell into the bed beside him as he grabbed my body and playfully feathered kisses all over my body, especially where my marks were. I laughed, feeling ever so happy and loved. We played a movie and I fell asleep in his arms, although my insecurities will always follow me, they are healing.
Thank you for reading! I hope you enjoyed! Remember you are beautiful xx
ESTÁS LEYENDO
Why Don't We Imagines
FanficTitle explains it all:) Accepting all requests at the moment!
