I'm so done with being sad or depressed that now I just get pissed off now. I have reached the point where my feelings matter more to me than others do. Except for one person obviously. Because for some reason no matter how hard I try to not give a fuck, I end up giving to many fucks and it gets me in trouble. Trouble as in, no matter how bad I want to say "hi hello yeah been here for quite a while how's everything going over there" (which I do actually say a rendition of this lol) I can't say everything I want to. I can't express everything I want to. I can't do everything I want to. I'm trapped in this little bubble of love and hate and it's like I'm at an impasse. Not with myself. I managed to take care of me for a little while and it was great. But it's turned me into someone I don't like. Changing myself, meant changing my heart. I'm not as kind as I used to be. I don't love as hard as before. And I don't give a fuck what happens anymore. I feel cold. Like stone. I hate it. But it's what we wanted.
