A Shadow Of A Man

Part Twelve~ Suicide

Aditya was yet to move from his seat that faced the corner of the brick wall, his posture was still, eyes icy cold and jaw clenched. The chains that tied his wrists to the back of the chair continuously jangled, a constant reminder that he was a prisoner, freedom was a million miles away but there was only one person who could set him free.

Zoya knelt down beside him, if he knew she was there he didn't act like it, his indifference pained her and she yearned to see the familiar cocky smile he wore as he teased her, she had no idea how, she had no idea when but somewhere along the way he had lost himself. "Mr Hooda" when he didn't respond she broke protocol, raised her hand to his cheek and turned his face toward hers, hissing when hot tears dripped beside her hand. "You're crying"

Standing up he walked around in a circle, lifted the chains linked to the chair that was nailed to the ground and faced her "I was born from nothing, made my own way in this world and I had no plans to stop, then I met you, I never needed anyone but god I wanted you, I had you and I knew it, I wasn't meant to let you have me but I did" lifting his arms he put the chains around her back and pulled her forward so her chest bumped into his "You were my willing prisoner" he ran his nose across her neck, inhaling her heady lavender scent "Begged me to hold you captive because that was the only way you felt safe"

The moment she began to lose herself in his touch was when she knew she was in trouble, throwing her head back her eyes popped open when he tugged on her hair "Mr-"

"No, no, no, no, it's my time to talk and your time to listen, tell me Zoya how does it feel when you have all those men touching you, be it Carlos or Jay or the man who pretended to be me, does it make you feel gooooood, does it give you a thrill, are you winning only when I am losing"?

She shuddered "It isn't like that, you know it's not"

"Do I, do I really"? He snarled "Speak up Zoya, come on, you never used to have an issue with shouting so shout, because I can't hear you when you're acting all innocent, that's all it is, isn't it, an act and I" he pointed to himself "Your ever loyal dog who sits beside the stage, watching and waiting but YOU NEVER EVEN LOOK AT ME" he was closer now- if that was even possible, eyes running over her shaking body in such a disarming way and hands up, ready to grab her yet he didn't. "It's absolutely fine that they can touch you, but I cannot because it's" he waited for her to finish the sentence

"Innapropriate" sighing loudly Zoya stood straighter "If you would just let me explain"

"What's left to explain, why should I stand by and watch you be touched by someone who isn't me" he ran a finger down her cheek "When you are mine toots, it isn't that you won't let me touch you that gets under my skin, it's the fact you'll let them, but never me" grabbing her wrists he pinned them above her head "Ever had an itch you could never scratch, because you just can't reach, it feels like in that moment you'll go crazy if you don't, now multiply that by a thousand and you will understand half of what I am feeling" gritting his teeth he turned his head to the side

"Mr Hooda, it isn't that I want to be touched by them, Carlos is, it's different, we're friends, Jay is, well he, I never gave him permission and the other man, took me by force, with you, it's, it's just different okay, it's different" Zoya didn't mean to shout, but she was tired of this incessant need to be touched by him, and now as he stood so close to her there was nothing she wanted more than his hands on her body

"Different" he licked his lips as if tasting the word "How, because i'm your patient and you must follow the rules or is it because you enjoy knowing that I am always watching as they touch you in ways only I should"? His pupils enlarged making his eyes a shade of absolute black. "I want you"

"You want your wife" she shook her head "And i'm not her" the sadness in her tone was so visible to her it made her feel ill

"I want you" Aditya repeated "And it isn't fair to say no, I have needs and I need you" he was beyond the point of hiding the way his voice cracked "What's so wrong with me, why don't you want me, I kept my promise, my hands are clean, I didn't kill anyone, or maybe that's the problem, when i'm not someone who needs to be fixed you have no interest" his hands tightened on her wrists pushing them into the wall so the brick ripped against her skin