Supernatural Season 12 Quotes

Episode 23

All Along the Watchtower

Dean: Okay, let me just get this straight. So... we beat the Brits, we kicked their psycho, tea-swilling asses, and instead of popping champagne and headin' to Vegas, we get Lucifer.  

Lucifer: Oh, if you're looking for Rowena, she is presently indisposed. Which is a delicate way of saying, I stomped on her face till the white meat showed, and then set her on fire, just in case. Ah. Gingers. It was messy and... screamy, but it had to be done, Sam. I'm about to be a dad. Can't raise the little nipper from a jail cell now, can I? Speaking of... you know where your little pal Castiel is?  

Mary: All right, then. Kind of always wanted to punch the Devil in the face.  

Sam: Dean, wait.

Dean and Mary: Seriously?

Sam: Look, just don't kill him. He worked the Cage spell with Rowena. Maybe he can help us.

Mary: And what if he can't.

Sam: Well, then we kill him.  

Crowley: I wanted to win. I perverted Mother's spell, put Lucifer in a vessel of my own making because I wanted to win. You have any idea how many people have made a play for my throne over the years? Lucifer, Abaddon, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Too damn many. I thought if I could put the Devil on a leash... my own personal nuke, no one would ever dare challenge me again.  

Sam: So, why are you here?

Crowley: Well, whenever there's a world-ending crisis at hand, I know where to place my bets. It's on you, you big, beautiful, lumbering piles of flannel. So if you'll forgive my transgression, I'll make it worth your while.

Dean: Which means?

Crowley: After we put Lucifer back in his cage, together, I'll seal the Gates of Hell. You'll never see another demon again, apart from, of course, yours truly.

Mary: You would do that?

Crowley: Why not? They stab me in the back, I'll happily stab them in the front, the sides, and right up their little black-eyed asses. So... we have a deal?  

Kelly: Tell me again. Tell me again what you saw.

Castiel: Right, I saw-- I saw... I saw the future. I saw a world without pain or hunger or want. I saw the world that this child... that your child... will create. And it is a world without fear and without suffering and without hate.

Kelly: Mm.

Castiel: I saw paradise.  

Dean: All right, on a scale of 1 to 10, how bad is this?

Sam: I don't know. I gotta say, a, uh, hole in reality to a bombed out apocalypse world? I'm gonna go with 11.

Dean: Sounds right.  

Dean: Bobby, it's us. Sam and Dean Winchester.

Bobby: The only Winchester I ever heard of was John.

Sam: Yeah. John Winchester, our father.

Bobby: Doubt it. He's dead. Been dead over 40 years now. Only reason I know about him is this hunter I ran with, Mary Campbell. You get a few pints of shine into her, and she always told the same story about the man she loved, John Winchester. Azazel killed her about 10 years ago.

Sam: Cas, what the the hell is this?

Castiel: This is a world where you were never born. It's a world you never saved.  

Bobby: Well, I don't know. It ain't so bad here, if you like killing angels.

Sam: And you do?

Bobby: It's my hobby and my passion. So... I figured, it's only a matter of time before the dicks upstairs get wind'a this. And when they show... me and Rufus go to work. He's loaded with a hundred rounds, cast from old angel blades.  

Lucifer: Oh, no, no. You had your chance. You could've put me back in the Cage, but... you had to make it personal, didn't you?

Crowley: You're right. It is personal. You humiliated me. I... I hate you. Deeply. Truly. And I'm gonna enjoy wiping that smug, self-satisfied look off your face. Personally.

Lucifer: You mean... this one? Come on, Crowley. You know whatever you try, you're gonna lose.

Crowley: You're right. Bye, boys.  

Kelly: Okay, but... Cas, I mean, you went a little overboard.

Castiel: I disagree. I have read 74 books on child rearing, and there is one thing they all agree on, everybody poops.