Two brown girls, a million poems

the last

{Quoia}

you are one of the 2 mfs i let get to my head like this
one of the 2 mfs i kept wanting back in my life like this
one of the 2 mfs who couldn't handle this
that other mf was my father
i gave up and said "why bother?"
though it was something else in me that said "try harder"
because when you really love someone you can't stand them
you try so hard to understand them
only to realize they are just a reflection of you
and that's why every time they do something wrong it makes you angry
but every time they do something right you want to devour them like candy
there was no lie when they said communication is key
the only thing was we couldn't find the door nor the key
and i hate comparing you to my father
but that's the only thing you remind of
and my love is something you deprive me of
all for 10 months
even those months where we weren't speaking
and my heart was leaking
the blood where you stabbed me at
then you had to sit here and come back
and i had to sit here and latch
because i was so afraid to have a life without you
so afraid to find something new without you
the thing is we always see the problem
but too afraid to attempt and solve them
because we fear the other persons feelings getting hurt
so we sit back , shut down, hoping it would work
until one of us gets fed up and finally says something
while the other one has no response like they're lifeless
but i promise to you this is my last time trying to fix it
my last time trying to mend it
my last time time showing you if the world didn't care for you, i would
but you pulled the last string
and i opened the last the door and walked out.