"haha...ryden"- Jon Walker

matchmaker

i love fiddler on the roof?

so like we're just gonna run with it.

p.o. era

both are teenage boys, living in annitevka. none of the characters from the actual story are very significant in this, other than Yenta bc it's based off the song Matchmaker

v short and weird if you don't know the musical so i'd suggest at least listen to the soundtrack/read a synopsis first 

let the shitshow begin

**********

"yente's at the door, papa"

"so open it! she is here for you."

"papa, you know i will not take what she's offering! i have my eye on someone already!"

"ryan i will hear no more of this. you will open that door and listen to her talk. it's all she has, this is the only job she will do! she is our matchmaker and i will hear of nothing else."

     dejected, ryan opens the door to his small home. he and his papa live together, alone. he is an only child, and mama died when he was younger. papa's trade is baking, so ryan goes to the market and sells the bagels, knishes, and if it's purim, hamentaschen. ryan knows yente is going to suggest all of the girls in the village, tzeitel, chava, hodel, miriam, whomever else, but ryan is definetly not buying anything she's selling. he has his eye on the butcher's son. the boy, brendon, has had his eye for a while now, as ryan sees him every morning at the market. 

     ryan opens the door, expecting the worst and nearly getting it. 

     "oh ryan! i've found the one for you! she's lovely, she's young... if young is forty-two... but she'll be a great match, yes?" yente storms into their house, bringing with her the dread and apathy ryan carries only for the infamous matchmaker. 

     "oh yente. you shouldn't have, really! i mean, i'm sure i could meet someone, but your graciousness has overwhelmed me!" ryan internally cringes. he was planning to go out in search of brendon, but that wasn't happening clearly. if he was lucky enough, maybe yente would leave before supper! but she was here for good. of course, ryan could pull the mourning card, the anniversary of his mother's death upon both ryan and his father, and she wouldn't be able to object. that would make her leave, ryan thought. no... he did want god on his side, to win over brendon.

     "but ryan, i haven't found any matches for you yet... but good old yente never gives up!"

     "yente, yente, yente. it's getting late, and i really don't want to trouble you further. tevya's daughter, tzeitel is getting older! she'll need a husband faster than you can say shalom!" ryan is ushering her towards the door. 

   "oh! how could i forget! well, i'll be back to you tomorrow ryan! why, the rabbi's daughter is only a few years younger than you, and she's quite the catch..." yente winks at ryan as she gets not-so-subtly pushed out the door.

     once she's left, ryan turns around to face his father. "i know, i know, i know, papa. i'm going to talk to brendon at the market tomorrow. hopefully he'll agree to come to sabbath, and maybe we can work it out then. i need you to trust me on this one."

     "i wasn't going to stop you, son. i just wanted to make sure you have a plan. your dear old father won't be around much longer, im afraid god has some other plans for me..." ryan's papa grins. "just keep up the family business, and keep each other happy... and i'm sure we have some food to spare for a third at  sabbath dinner."