Taking the Leap

Chapter 9

~Achilles~

I somehow managed to have the best sleep of my life with Xander in my bed. I woke up feeling refreshed and at ease in a way that startled me. We'd moved positions overnight and were now facing one another on the bed. His eyes were closed but his mouth was open, half his face mashed against the pillow. In the morning light I saw what I'd done to his chest. There were small marks across his body and neck. Hickeys. Fuck, that was hot.

I really wanted him to be mine. It was like kissing him had opened the door for feelings I didn't even realize I was having. With Xander that close the wolf side was snapping at my heels, telling me to act, to lay claim, to make sure he knew he was mine.

I didn't want anyone else to have him and the possessiveness bothered me. Because Xander wasn't mine, we weren't in a relationship and he didn't owe me anything. My brain knew that, but the rest of me was just trying to catch up.

#
Xander ended up driving. "We'll just go the rest of the way." His pale yellow cable-knit sweater was oversized and made his skin look nice. Nice and kissable. Although, he was frowning and he'd been frowning all morning.

"Hey." I said, tapping my fingers on the dash. It was bright and early, with barely a cloud in the sky. "You can tell me if something's wrong."

He swallowed, merging onto the highway and sighing loudly. "I don't know why I said his name." He whispered. "So, so, so stupid."

"Corey?" I said. He flinched like I had hit him and I mentally kicked myself.

"We were together for four years." Xander touched his throat with one hand and manoeuvred the wheel with the other. "He's married now. They have a dog." His lips parted, and he breathed heavily before continuing. "I worry about the dog. Isn't that stupid? I don't think about him, not really. But sometimes, that's all I can think about. Are you going to do that to me, too?"

I waited, feeling that this was building towards something.

"I'm sorry I'm damaged goods." Xander's voice broke on a sob.

I was so shocked that it took me a beat to respond, and I watched, stunned, as large tears rolled down Xander's cheeks.

"Pull over to the shoulder." I said, waiting a few moments, as he drove to the side of the road with his his shoulders heaving. He turned off the engine and sat there hunched.

I got out of the passenger side and went into the back seat, directing Xander to follow me.

Once he came into the back I patted my thighs, "Lie down."

He gave me an incredulous look and I thought he was going to shoot me one of those witty responses but he laid his head down, staring up at me from my thighs.

"You have a lovely voice." I started, filing my hands through his hair. He'd unbraided he corn rows this morning, and filed his hands through his kinks until they turned into curls and I tried not to be too mystified by the process. "You're really smart." I continued while he looked confused. "I like your smile." I said, tracing out his mouth, watching his lips quirk upwards. "You look smaller when you're sleeping."

"What're you doing, silly?" Xander teased, giving me a small smile.

"I'm telling you all the things I know about you." I wiped away the tears on his cheeks. "I don't know a version of you that's stupid. I mean, maybe I haven't met that one yet but I don't think you have stupid in you. Right?"