Why Are You Here? | Nygmakins

Part One

As Lee Thompkins had nursed her glass of bourbon on that chilly autumn night, standing by the window to watch the good citizens of Gotham - nothing more than targets, if you really got down to it - she thought of all she'd lost. She looked at those people down on the street who had no idea what kind of sorrow they were in store for - they were too young - too full of idealistic notions that things around here could change . . . just as she herself had believed many years ago.

The city had swallowed the love of her life - and their son - whole, without even giving a satisfied burp. Jim had been reckless in letting James join the force, knowing what had been lurking out there on the streets of Gotham . . . a successful crime syndicate headed up by Gotham's sometimes mayor, Penguin, former residents of Arkham Asylum - nothing more than lunatics really - released unjustly and roaming freely and causing some of the most dangerous situations her husband and her son had faced, new villains popping up to replace the fallen ones . . .

And then there was Ed.

She taps her glass gently on her bottom lip. Ed was . . . interesting. A part of him was a villain just as dark as any of the others roaming the streets and causing menace - The Riddler. But he had . . . other parts. She remembers that clearly on this dismally drizzly night.

Lee sinks against the wall and lets herself fall to the floor, weeping. She had suffered so much loss, so much devastation. She hated this city.

The only kin she had remaining wasn't really kin at all - Barbara's daughter. Jim's daughter. She had tried so hard to be a mother to her, to be inclusive as she grew up, making her an equal part of her family unit with James. But her mother always tried to poison her - to make her hate Jim and her 'other mother.' So, growing up, she had always been a reluctant participant in their mother-daughter relationship. Untrusting. Fearful.

And now they are completely on the outs. She had threatened to sick The Bat on the little operation Lee was running in the former green zone - right under the GCPD's nose. That part had been thrilling, but no she saw no thrill in anything else and wondered just what had become of her life this last quarter century. She'd gone from Queen of The Narrows a lifetime ago to just another crime boss in Gotham, perpetrating evil.

The worst part was, her crew had no purpose. They're just an outlet for her grief, tearing into the lives of people and ripping them apart at her command in outrage for the unjustness of it all. Damn Jim to hell for setting their son up like that. Her blazing rage is unstoppable to this day - it had never truly subsided within the few years that had passed since she lost them both.

She wipes at her nose with the sleeve of her blouse. Time to get more bourbon. Definitely time.

But when she stands up, she realizes just how drunk she is. She doesn't remember ever drowning her sorrows quite like this since the days after she had returned to Gotham and ended up at Cherry's place. When she had stumbled upon Ed. Why does her mind keep wandering back to him tonight?

She shakes her head, remembering him with a soft smile. Man, how he had hated Oswald back in those early days, if his notorious Penguin show had been any indication. She heads to the kitchen to pour herself another drink and then walks over to the window pane, placing her hand on it as she watches the rivulets of water stream down the glass on the other side. Those people down there were living the simple life she once had. A life with purpose.

She and Ed had been emboldened with purpose all those years ago - before everything had gotten obscured. And her purpose with Jim was to raise those kids right - a job she felt she had done well.

But now? What was there?

She wonders if Ed had lost his purpose too. Since Oswald had died, his presence in the villain scene of Gotham had been scarce and these past few years he had let his daughter rise in his place. The Penguin and The Riddler had always been in either some kind of difficult to define and ever changing partnership or at each other's throats. But they had always been tight. So, even when they were at odds, Jim would warn his men that should they cause harm to either one of them, the other would come after them with a vengeance. Better to take them both down at once, or not at all. But when those two worked together in harmony? Damn, were they difficult to defeat.

She remembers her own partnership with Ed as he had helped her rise and take reins of The Narrows . . . and his love for the darker parts of her. The parts of herself she'd been living in almost solely since Jim and James' deaths.

"You love it . . . and I love it, too."

Hearing him praise her darkside had drawn her to him like a moth to a flame. And she had seen him in an entirely different light as well - just as his Riddler part had been able to see the real her. She had never felt so understood. After that night at the bank, she had found him absolutely irresistible - they were simpatico. And for a time, she had wanted to go down on the ship they were sinking.

"I know you don't feel the same way about me." Ed lifts a finger. "But you will. And when you do, I'll be here."

Jim had dragged her into the darkness before, preceding her return to Gotham, after which she had tried to help the children of The Narrows as penance, having worked out a deal with Cherry. As she had tried to heal from her past mistakes, Ed had been there by her side. Sometimes he was helpful - and sometimes he was decidedly not. But in the end, he had shown her what she had needed to get past that awful chapter in her life: A purpose. And there was solace in that.

She wondered if she would ever find one again.