druga strana

chapter twentytwo - negdje je ( ; somewhere)

i said goodbye to sash, but ended up sitting on her front porch in the dark and chilling cold. i was checking my instagram and actually may or may not have peaked at brahims online status once or twice to check if he was still up. 

then, suddenly, a message popped up at the top of my screen.

"dear mrs. meller.."

my heart stopped and i felt like screaming but i couldn't because sasha would've noticed that i sat in front of her apartment.

i coulnd't click onto that. i just could not do it by myself.

i pushed myself off of the steps and slowly started slendering towards the street while looking down to my phone, thinking about what the fuck to do next.

i got onto brahims chat. then i opened sashas chat, turned around and checked if the light in her bedroom was still on, but it wasn't. then i looked back at brahims online status. i kept starring at it and began to ask myself what kind of horrible person i am.

"hey" - nada, 8:21 pm

"hey" - brahim, 8:22 pm

my hands were shaking at this point. i didn't manage to text properly, i kept on erasing my messages before sending them.

"everything alrighty?" brahim asked, and added a little goofy smiley.

i took a screenshot of the email notification and sent it to him, without any further explanation. and without having the time to think about it, got an "i'm coming." back from brahim.

"no", i never texted back faster in my life, ever.

brahim saw the message, but didn't reply.

"please do me a favour and get some rest." - nada, 8:24 pm

"do me a favour and stop worrying about me when there are things going on in your life that you probably shouldn't continue sitting out yourself. i'm here for you." - brahim, 8:24 pm

"it's nothing. they said i should come around tommorrow at around two." - nada, 8:26 pm

"good. are you home?" - brahim, 8:26 pm

"no. don't worry, brahim, please." - nada, 8:26 pm

"i didn't mean it like that. but is everything okay at home? have they talked to you or anything?" - brahim, 8:26 pm

"yes it is, and no. just don't worry. i'm at sashas." - nada, 8:26 pm

"did you talk?" - brahim, 8:27 pm

"we did. but it didn't turn out that well. i'll be telling you about it soon. there is just

a lot going on right now" - nada, 8:27 pm

"i'm always here. the team is getting ready to go now and imma need to catch up on lucas because he'll drive me home. i'm incredibly tired but maybe i will text you when i'm home, i'll try my best. call me if you find out anything and text me tomorrow please. you need to tell me what they say. can you promise me that?" - brahim, 8:28 pm

"i will." - nada, 8:28 pm

"good. good night, i'll hear from you tomorrow." - brahim, 8:28 pm

of course, i felt like an absolout dumbfuck for lying to brahim but i just needed to do that. he just needed to concentrate on himself and needed to get rest.

-

i actually walked all the way back. it took me about 45 minutes, until i finally reached my "home". i slowly and quietly opened the door and closed it behind me. and the second i turned around, i noticed how the kitchens light was lit up. i was curious, peaked around the corner, to see my entire host family sitting at the table. it was way too late for the kids to be up, so i was even more suprised about the whole scene. my host mom gave me a weird look. i just played with my hands and looked down to my feet: "hello", i mumbled.

"can you sit down for a second?", my host mom asked with her strong spanish accent.

i froze, but eventually sat down next to the kids, who were looking at me with they little cute and admiring eyes. i always loved them. i just disliked their parents. a lot.the mom raised her voice, even though her kids were still talking to their dad: 

"the agency talked to us over the phone."

"okay.", i answered and looked back at her husband.

"is it true?" 

i looked out of the window and tried to look for the best way to answer but i didn't quite get what exactly she meant.

"what?", i asked.

she kind of rolled her eyes: "that you're ending it. that you stop being our au-pair."

i just nodded. and i felt their eyes on me but i just continued starring out of the window.

"okay. why didn't you tell us?"

i shrugged. i just really did not feel like talking to them anymore.then, the dad stepped in: "okay.. so. do you want to stay? or do you have an oppurtunity to stay somewhere else? of course only if you want. you can stay here for these last days just in case but- i figure you.."

i shook my head and i slowly began to realize that this was it, these were my last days in madrid. i was lucky, i've got to have some freetime though. but i was sad and it almost made me feel sick.

"i've got a place to stay.", i promised, took out my phone and already clicked onto brahims chat.