My Imaginary Friend

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It was Zoe's second day of Kindergarten when she first saw her soon-to-be new best friend. The bow on her dress matched her long golden hair. Sunlight shone through the lace eyelets on her white dress; or was that coming from her? Something about this girl drew Zoe in. She wanted to talk to her, but each time she approached the corner where she was standing, Sister Zita yelled, "Sit down this instant."

Zoe asked her teacher when they were going to find a chair for the new girl? Sister Zita told Zoe to go and sit down and not worry about such things. Sister Zita, who had taught all the Adams' children, commented to herself, "This one is going to be a challenge."

Zoe eventually got up the courage to talk to the girl with the golden hair. She walked right up to her during recess.

"Hi, I'm Zoe. Want to jump rope with me?"

"Sure!"

And they played until Sister Zita yelled to Zoe that it was time to go back in. Since her teacher still didn't have an extra chair, Zoe let her sit next to her, and the two new friends shared a seat as well as their crayons.

A good portion of Zoe Adams' life up until the age of 20 is recalled by her through family pictures. The blanks are filled in by her sibling's versions of growing up in a house with seven brothers and sisters.

At the age of 30, Zoe still carries in her wallet a picture of her first day of Kindergarten at St. Peter's Parochial School. She is standing on the steps holding her oldest sister's hand and you can see that she's crying. Gwen retells the story about that day over and over.

"You wouldn't let go of my hand so I had to stay in your room and miss most of my morning classes."

Zoe launched and managed two successful businesses, but still felt like the baby when she was with her family. She struggled with her own self-worth and wondered at what age being an adult finally kicked in? How could she be so successful in her business life, and yet still wake up every morning and feel like she's missing out on something?

Zoe also started—and finished—many relationships. When she finally met a man she thought was the right one, it ended a year later when she found herself eating ice cream in the middle of the night...every night. It seemed the words she spoke always fell on deaf ears. She was continually doubting her own thoughts and decisions. Zoe decided it would be healthier for her to be alone and far away from her family. She sold both her businesses, left Connecticut, and moved to Pennsylvania.

Yoga was on the top of her 'classes to find' list. Stretching and strengthening her body was expected; expanding her mind was a twist she didn't foresee. In her first class, during the opening meditation, she had the sensation of being taken out of her body. She could see herself floating through space for what seemed like hours. The stars approached her as if to say, "I see you." It was beautiful there and she didn't want to return...not to mention having any idea how to. Somehow she landed with a thud back on her cushion. Opening her eyes, she expected to see everyone staring at her. To her surprise, everyone still had their eyes closed, and glancing at the clock, only a moment had passed.

What just happened, she thought to herself. It seemed like she was losing control of her mind, instead of gaining control of it.

Zoe tried to convince herself it was a dream. She must've fallen asleep. At the end of class, everyone was talking about an up-coming event. The famous medium, Reverend Seth, was coming to the studio for a 'Night of Spirit Communication.' The girls told Zoe that the Rev. could tell you who your spirit guides were and speak to your loved ones in the world of spirit. Zoe thought—after her experience that day—maybe she could find out more; but what was about to happen, caused her to question who she was and why she was here.

That night, Reverend Seth gave her two spirit guides: A Native American Chief called Running Deer, and a Protector guide named Blue Cloud. He went on to say that her Dad, who had passed away years earlier, was right there watching over her and wanted her never to feel again like she was the 'baby of the family.'

How does he know that? After it was over, Zoe asked for Reverend Seth's advice. He told her to meditate with her guides and she will receive the answers.

Zoe thought, Sit in meditation? She hadn't done any sitting since that first time in class. Not that she was afraid, but she was a little worried about how to get back if it happened again! There was a small part of her though, that was eager to find out more. So she gathered up the courage to go back to the meditation cushion.

Zoe picked the middle of the day to attempt another meditation. What could happen in the light of day? She closed her eyes and began to deepen and count her breath. One, two, three...and in the next moment, she could see, in the distance of her mind, a small girl. She couldn't have been more than five or six. Her dress was dirty and her dark hair covered most of her face, which had an expression of agitation. Zoe immediately opened her eyes and began to shake. What was that? What do I do now?

She had become friends with her yoga teacher, Sarah, but never shared with her what happened in her class. Zoe asked her what she thought about this small, scary-looking child, that appeared during her meditation.

Sarah smiled, "Zoe. Many visions of fear are a projection of something we fear within. Souls that appear to us can be pieces of ourselves that want to be healed. When she appears again, draw her toward you and tell her that you love her."

Zoe nodded and thanked Sarah, but inside her head she was wondering,

Bring her close? What could this child want from me?

She waited until the weekend to practice meditation again. Practice, yea right. I'll never get used to this!

Zoe closed her eyes and the little girl immediately appeared again. She moved through her fear and resisted the urge to open her eyes. Instead she began to speak gently to her, through her thoughts.

"It's okay. You can come closer. Tell me your name."

"My name is Stacy," she said.

"Stacy, I love you." And with those words, Zoe put her arm around this small child and drew her near. As Stacy got closer, her dress became white. Her hair changed to a golden hue, the same color as the bow tied at her waist. Bright light filtered through the lace eyelets of her dress. Stacy's demeanor changed. A big smile appeared on her face as she settled against Zoe.

Zoe couldn't hold it in anymore. The first person she called was her sister, Gwen. She listened to the whole story, from Zoe's first experience on the meditation cushion, to Stacy's appearance. As Zoe finished, her sister sat up with a jolt at the other end of the telephone,

"Zoe! You had an imaginary friend when you were little and her name was...Stacy!"

"What? Why hasn't anyone told me before?"

"You're going to have to ask Katie. You and she spent more time together because you shared a bedroom."

Zoe didn't waste any time phoning Katie.

"Yes, you and your 'friend' would not shut up. Every night you would talk to her. You actually brought food to bed with you for her!"

"What happened?" Zoe asked impatiently.

"Well, Grams told Mom to ignore you. She said you were only trying to get attention and that you would eventually forget about your friend. I guess you did."

On the other end of the line, Zoe sighed, closed her eyes, and there was Stacy. She heard the proverbial bell ring and saw the wings appear on Stacy's back. In that moment, Stacy flew to the higher realms.

Zoe now understood why Stacy first appeared the way she did. It had been a long time since the two were together as friends. Zoe imagined she had pushed Stacy away because no one but her, believed she existed. Now her best friend was back—if only for a moment—to be the teacher.

Zoe thought, This is just the beginning. There's so much more to learn. After all, the stars are calling me!

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⏰ Last updated: Mar 31, 2019 ⏰

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