Regrets had been Gareth's best friend for five years now. Hindi niya maiwasang manlumo sa tuwing naiisip ang mga pangyayari ng nakaraan. They were a ghost and a stigma in his existence. It kept haunting him day after day. His conscience was killing him. He was indeed a rotten man; both from the inside and from the outside.
Pinikit niya ang kanyang mga mata. He saw an image of Arthur, his brother was suffering for the things that he did not do. He had the chance to help him, to make things right. But he chose to remain quiet for those people who only knew of power. Nagbulagbulagan siya sa katotohanan.
If only he had spoken that day, Arthur would not be incarcerated. He would still be Crown Prince and he would probably be happily living inside the Arondight palace kasama ang pamilya nito. But he didn't do anything.
Nanakit bigla ang sentido niya.
This was the reason why he chose Asphodel. Milya-milya ang layo nito sa Camelot. It's the coldest place in the whole kingdom. Gusto niyang takasan ang lahat. He wanted to appease his conscience. He wanted to tell his mind that the end justified the means. Buong kapatid pa rin niya si Lancelot at ang kanyang ina pa rin ang nagluwal sa kanya sa mundo. Ngunit kahit saan siya magpunta, inuusig pa rin siya ng kanyang konsensya.
Muli niyang tinungga ang hawak na baso ng alak. The whisky immediately burned inside his throat.
And now, another ghost had come to haunt him. After five years, Steffanie had found her way back in his life. But the thing was, he didn't expect the overwhelming emotions he felt when he finally saw her again.
She had changed a lot. Gone was the shy and indifferent woman. Now, she walked with full grace and confidence. Mas nagkaroon ito ng kumpiyansa sa sarili. She was a proud woman now. Bakit nga naman ba hindi? Isa na itong modelo. And just any model, Steff was the Kingdom's highest paid supermodel.
She had come a long way from the timid girl that he knew. At alam niya kung paano natamo nito ang kasalukuyang estado. Modeling was synonymous to prostitution. Most of the top models he knew had whored themselves for money ang fame. They were a class A tramp, a dangerous vamp who was all too willing to spread their legs just for cash, favour and prestige. He knew it personally because he bedded most of those girls in the past.
At ang isa pa, hindi ito nag-atubiling tanggapin ang perang binigay niya rito. Perang kapalit ng pagtatalik nila. This cemented everything that he thought of her.
But still, his mind was bogged with the spots of dry blood on his sheets. She felt virgin-tight. Could it be that she hadn't had sex for a long time? But that was absurd and impossible. Palihim niyang sinusubaybayan ang galaw nito. He read tabloids and watched television shows para makibalita sa nangyayari sa buhay nito. And he knew that she was still meeting up with the Duke of Sutherland. Minsan pa nga ay kasama ng mga ito ang anak na babae. At anong ginagawa nila pag nakikita ang mga ito? Nagtitigan? Cut him some slack. He knew how a man's libido worked. He was not born yesterday. But still, how come that she felt so tight when he had her?
Fuck! Medically speaking, there was only one acceptable explanation. But his mind refused to believe any of it because it well shake-up everything that he believed about her.
May isang pait na gumapang sa kanyang puso nang maaalala ang nakitang larawan ng mga ito sa internet.
He felt jealous. Siya dapat ang kasama ng mga nito. Kung hindi lang ito nagtraydor sa kanya. Kung hindi lang siya pinagpalit ni Steff. Sigurado siyang isa na silang masayang pamilya ngayon.
He refilled the whisky in his glass.
Steff... Why, sweetheart? Why? He said to himself as he intoxicating effect of the alcohol enveloped him.
His train of thoughts were interrupted by a knock on his door.
"Kamahalan, the Imperial Consort Guinevere is requesting your audience," his secretary said.
Great! Just great! His mother had the perfect timing. Kung kalian naman siya inuusig ng kanyang konsensya doon naman ito magpapakita.
"Let her in."
He composed himself. Then after half a minute, the reason of his pain and self-punishment came in to his view.
Umupo ito sa isang settee sa kanyang opisina.
"You're office looked good," wika nito habang nililibot ang tingin sa buong paligid.
"Cut the chase, why are you here?" tanong niya. His tone of voice was cold as the icicles in Asphodel. He want to make sure that she will feel unwanted.
"Why are you like that, Prince Gareth? Masama bang bisitahin ng kanyang ina ang kanyang anak? I haven't seen you for so long now."
He could feel now the effects of the alcohol. Just the sound of her voice made his blood boil. Anak? Kailan pa ba nagging anak ang turing nito sa kanya. For her he was just a tool in her selfish ambition. Nahilot niya ang sentido nang bigla itong kumirot.
"Well, I am here to know what the people of Asphodel were like. As a future Queen Dowager, gusto ko namang tumulong sa kapatid mo pagpapatakbo ng kahiraan. I want to help people by being the best matriarch."
He remained quiet. He was nauseated by his mom's words. Somehow, he struggled to find the truth in her words.
"Oh, c'mon Gareth. Are you still mad at me about that? It had been five years already. And you see the fruit of everything?"
Tiningnan niya ito nang masama.
"You should be grateful. Kung hindi dahil doon, you would be the third prince. Hindi mararanasan ang mga ganitong prebilehiyo."
He balled his fist. He was wearing his anger like a second skin now.
"Privilege? Do you think I chose to be in this place? I am here because I do not have any choice! I didn't want to see any of you."
Waring nagulat ito sa outburst niya. His mother wore a different expression right now.
"Still sulking, huh. This was the reason why I chose Lancelot. You are too fainthearted. Mahina ang kalooban mo."
He gave her a wry smile. "You chose Lancelot dahil pareho kayo ng tabas ng pagkatao. You are both hungry for power. And sorry for not living up to your expectations, because unlike you, I still have my conscience intact with me. At ngayon, ako pa rin pumapasan sa mga pinaggawa niyo."
"Oh, I am so sorry if that's what you felt. But we are now reaping what we have sown. It is our time to shine. At kung hindi ka masaya para sa amin, then stay hidden in this god forsaken place. Wala ka na rin namang magagawa."
He looked at her with anger and pity. Ito ba ang kanyang ina? This person was not even a human being. She was nothing but a monster. Sinong matinong ina ang isasangkalan ang kaligtasan ng anak para lamang sa ambisyon nito? She had him battered to death five years ago. Nilason naman nito si Anya.
Tumayo ito sa kinauupuan. She paced back and forth.
"Kahit na magsumbong ka pa. There was no evidence that may point everything to us. Malinis naming trinabaho iyon para mapunta ang lahat ng sisi kay Arthur. And you knew that for five years now. Ibig sabihin, isa ka na ring accessory sa ginawa naming. So be my guest, magsumbong ka. At nang sabay-sabay tayong mabulok sa kulungan. It's now us vs. that insolent prince in the jail."
