"I can't believe this!" I scoffed in utter disbelief while shaking my head and tossing the phone on the bed. "So, Jada was behind Jeremy's calls after all, huh! What kind of sick joke..."
Suddenly, the blaring pitch of someone pressing random buttons echoed through my phone's speaker. Turns out, Mone' was hilariously trying hard to get my attention.
"Hello? HELLOOLOLOLOLOO!" She sang persistently in an obnoxious timbre.
The fact that she was waiting on the other line the whole time had completely slipped my mind.
"Oh, my bad sis...forgot you were still there," I laughed. "I'm just gonna call you back later though, alright? Wait! On second thought, just call me when you're about to drop the baby off."
"No worries, how about you just let him stay another night so you can rest? I have my own supplies for him here already and everything..."
Passing on the opportunity to dig into or entertain the scandal, I decided not to update Mone' this time. Enough was enough! Instead, I simply agreed to her open proposal to keep Jamal, then flopped back on the bed from mental exhaustion. Not knowing for sure what to do next, I opted for a session of self-reflection. Soon an epiphany hit with a clear revelation. My former pure and placid-natured identity had been stolen by the ill existence of valueless negativity-- which for a time, I directly ALLOWED to persist. It was clear that I had lost my myself...forgotten my way back...was broken from the complications of my current life, knowing DAMN WELL I was raised better than this. Suddenly, the empowering voice of a former mentor came to mind, forcing me to ask myself, "Who are you? No, are you REALLY who you say you are? And are you all you ought to be?"
It's been said that many people can't stand to live with the negative consequences of their bad decisions. Leading only with the good-natured intentions of their heart, people neglect to protect their mind. The mind only gets involved when the hurt comes. I was guilty of this, but ironically enough, I felt myself growing, even maturing from the pain. The self-encouragement was thoroughly comforting.
"Well, I was gonna take a nap, but maybe I should just study instead, right?" I thought aloud, with newfound direction on the brain. Unfortunately, my mental compass must've been broken, because almost 3 hours later, my sleep was abruptly interrupted by my demon-spawn-of-a-cousin Abiana.
"SHI SHI! MY MAMA SAID...IF YOU DON'T TELL JEREMY TO STOP CALLING HER PHONE RIGHT NOW, *INSERT DRAMATIC PAUSE* SHE'S GONNA KICK YOUR A-S-S!"
"Watch your mouth little girl...AND GET OUT!" I said, angrily wiping the drool from my cheek.
"NOPE!" She laughed, slapping my arm then running away.
Abi LIVED to harass me every moment she got. I usually can tolerate her antics, but now wasn't the time. Lord knows I wanted to chase after her badass, but my aching body wouldn't allow me. Instead, I slowly began putting my books away. While doing so, I was approached by an irate Tionna.
"WHY THE HELL IS THAT CRAZY ASS BOY CALLING MY PHONE OVER AND OVER? HE HAS LITERALLY CALLED 99 TIMES! DO YOU HEAR ME? IT'S ACTUALLY MORE THAN THAT! THE PHONE JUST STOPPED REGISTERING AFTER THE 99TH TIME!"
Her unbelievable allegation caused me to look at my own phone, which displayed a whopping 153 missed calls. Never in my life had I witnessed such a sight. "Auntie...listen, I already have a restraining order on him. On top of that, he's still in jail, so I have no idea how or why he's doing this. I'm just sorry that you're now being affected," I voiced as apologetically as possible. "At this point, I don't even know what to do. I'm honestly terrified of what he'll do next."
"I mean...I can't even use my own damn house phone, S**T! I had to unplug it and everything! We gotta to do something about this.. hmmm...tomorrow I guess I'll get our numbers changed. In the meantime, tell me what's REALLY going on!"
Helplessly ashamed, frustrated, and embarrassed were just a few emotions I felt when disclosing the truth. Now that Tionna was well informed of the madness, I was sure news would spread quickly to the rest of my family--or worse, my parents! Everyone being judgmentally in my business was exactly what I wanted to avoid. On the flip side, not having to deal with things alone made me feel better. With help, I was hopeful that things would get better.
* * * * * *
The next day, having gotten some of the best sleep ever, I woke up feeling enlivened and fully refreshed. The warm rays of the luminous sun lifted my spirits from the affairs of the previous day. This gave me a much-needed push to conquer my uneasiness. After gathering a few items, I made my way to the school with a fresh start in mind.
Unfortunately, the entire school day proved depressingly taxing, once I saw how far behind I had fallen. At this rate, it was beginning to seem like I would have no choice but to drop out. The only thing that gave me peace was realizing the calls from Jeremy had completely stopped. Regardless, our numbers would still be changed.
As I made my way to a nearby vending machine between classes, I happened to catch sight of Spencer. My heart began racing in angst, but the overall encounter wasn't as awkward as anticipated. No actual words were exchanged, but he did pause for a friendly smile along with a willful head nod in my direction. This was better than any words for time being because what was understood didn't have to be explained. A part of me missed his company, and I was sure he felt the same.
After gathering the guts to approach him, I began walking towards his direction. However, nothing prepared me for the embarrassment that was to come next...
YOU ARE READING
Fault
Non-Fiction"If you leave me, I will kill you," he said. This is how my story started. I left him 7 months ago, he'll swear we never parted. Recollections of such memories just brings my eyes to tears, it's the most pain I've ever experienced in my 21 years...t...
