Listen, this is one of the most basic fucking rules out there as anyone who has ever carried a rifle ever will tell you, but it's number 9 on the list. Why? Well, it's probably the fourth most important. The twelfth rule..well, that is THE most important one. Math doesn't make sense? Well it will. There are twelve rules. I'll let you figure that out, or don't, stick around and I'll tell it.
I'll be honest. When I was trying to frame this narrative, and digest my experiences into a cohesive series of events...I actually had to leave a lot of rules out. There are a ton of fucking rules, as anyone in any job ever will tell you. Such as, 'don't shit where you eat' or 'don't sleep around the office' (kind of the same deal, I guess), or 'don't piss on the boss' cat'. But, this one is up there at the top.
Story time before story time. Once, when I was a young buck full of hormones and certainty, I was an infantryman (how the mighty have fallen, right?). I was on perimeter security with another dude, we were M249 gunners (big gun go boom-boom, scary, but not too scary...5.56mm scary not 7.62mm or Ma-deuce scary) controlling the entry/exit point to our outpost. It was training, so no big deal right? Wrong. Cadre test you more than the enemy. I took a wink, thinking my battle buddy would cover me but he took a wink too. Shitty communication but we were 20 years old, give us a break. Well...cadre walk up and tap my dumbass on the helmet.
"Hey you sleeping?"
"Uh.....noooo..." (?!)
And then there I was, in the middle of the night soaking in my own sweat like a prime roast in a slow-cooker with my squad automatic weapon held high over my head whilst I maintained a squat position for 30 minutes. Fucking awful.
Anyway, perimeter security is no joke. It's Warfighting 101. That and fire-guard...but...anyway. Different story for a different time.
Where was I? Perimeter security.
On a cold January evening there was a National Guard unit that was training on a small MOUT site (that is, a couple shipping containers with doors so they could practice breaching and room clearing on a simulated 'town'). They were ambitious...for the National Guard. They came out with a couple of 10-ton trucks with a bunch of concertina wire (razor wire in the civilian world), they had glow sticks for safety on the concertina wire and a 24 hour operational command post, roaming perimeter security...the works.
Things get a little tricky though because no one told them they weren't allowed to set-up on the range. This was a range that was strictly off-limits overnight. At 9pm the lights would shut-off. Due to some SNAFU's in communication Sarah and I found ourselves heading out to a location two ranges down from where these folks were at to help a unit with a power outage.
We get to the place we were told to go to and no one was there. Big surprise. Comms working as expected. Then, we put out an all-call on the range control frequency and got some squirrely private trying to tell me where they actually were, so we jumped over to their company frequency to hash things out. Long story short, we do a 'who's on first?' bit and finally figure out where they are.
"Shit. Good timing." Sarah said.
I rolled my eyes. "What now?"
"They aren't supposed to be camping out on that range. Either someone cleared them that shouldn't have, or they went ahead and did it anyway. It's a coin flip."
"So do we go help them, tell them to clear out, or what?"
Sarah thought for a few moments. "How about we watch?"
"That's so romantic." I said, jokingly, before getting a vicious straight to the arm. "Ow! The fuck. You packing super strength too? Jesus."
"Watch it Rook, you don't want none of this." She shot back making exaggerated karate knife-hands.
From the shadows behind my seat she pulled out two objects. The crack of the can, which certainly did not contain alcohol because we were on the clock (it did), was unmistakable, and passed me one.
"Lady of the lake!"
She shot me a dirty look, and then the show began.
The radio chirped, "2-5, this is hotel-romeo has your security made its way back yet? They've missed their check-in twice now." The radio operator for the command post stated calmly.
"Negative hotel-romeo", a groggy voice responded after a delay. "I'm gonna go check on him. Wait one."
A couple minutes passed. "Hotel-romeo, this is 2-5....the sentry...is ineffective. He uh...he's unconscious, I'm getting the medic over here to check him out...meanwhile can you get 3-6 to send someone up? All my guys just got off duty."
"Roger, out."
More time passed before the radio chirped again.
"3-6, where's your sentry? 2-5 was supposed to be relieved. I can't reach anyone at the entry point."
"Hotel-romeo, this is 3-6, I sent my sentry out 20 minutes ago like you asked to relieve him"
"3-6, no one is answering my radio checks."
Indistinct cursing could be heard.
"Where are those mechanics anyway? We need to get the power back up. I'm going to check on the Sentry, wait one."
More time passed. "1-5, 3-6 is out of contact. Can you please send someone?"
Silence.
"1-5?"
Silence.
The radio chirped again "Hey, can I come in?"
Sarah sat forward suddenly.
"Who is this?" The radio operator for the command post, asked.
"I just want to take a rest. Can I come in?"
"2-5, is that you? Dude...I mean Sar'nt...this isn't funny." The radio operator replied nervously.
The radio crackled for a while. "How do you know if I'm a Sergeant?"
"Hey...Sergeant Mora...this isn't cool. Okay, funny joke, ha ha, fuck with the private..good times right? My relief didn't show up. No one else is answering the calls. This is pretty messed up."
"Just let me in and it will be fine."
"What do you mean?" the radio operator replied.
"You're in the shipping container. The doors are closed...just...open them." The voice replied.
Silence. "I...uh..I.."
"It's okay. Just open them"
"I....Ok..." the radio operator responded in a trance-like state.
Sarah looked over at me and hurled her empty can into the back seat. "Ok Rook, here we go."
"Uhhh...what are we doing?" I asked.
"Scooby-dooby-doo, where are you? We've got some work to do now." She sang, slightly out of tune
"Creepy as fuck, Sarah."
"Oh, come on. We're going to keep those poor assholes from dying, and..." she drifted off as she started the engine and put the truck into gear, "We're going to get ourselves a special souvenir." Her broad smile was clear as day in the moonlight. It was beautiful.
We sped down the road towards their camp kicking up dust in our wake.
When we finally arrived it was plain to see that no one was conscious. We pulled up and killed the lights before getting out. Two guards at the entry/exit point were unconscious...or dead...which briefly brought my memory from basic training back to the surface.
It was then that I noticed I was a little uncomfortable with our so-called plan to 'get a souvenir'.
"What are we doing here, Sarah?"
"Hun, you worry too much. I've got you covered. Oh, and follow me, here take this." She tossed a pack of zip-ties to me. "Open em' and have three ready to go, ok? My hands are going to be a little too occupied to get 'em out." she cracked her knuckles.
We crept through the perimeter without drawing attention. The guards actually were asleep, thankfully, but it was unclear if their current state was permanent or a temporary stop on the way to something much worse. There were collapsed forms strewn about as if everyone just fell to the ground in the middle of whatever they were doing.
We moved quietly to the shipping container that obviously housed the command center. We stacked up near the half open door and she pressed a solitary index finger to her lips and smiled.
Before I could even conceive of a protest she rushed in and I after a moment's hesitation followed.
What was in that shipping container I couldn't describe. As soon as I entered I felt dizzy and short of breath. Forgetting where I was or why, I wanted to sit down and take a rest but something about Sarah's urgency pushed me onward. I could see the radio operator on the ground as my cone of vision narrowed, but I could also see Sarah wrestling with something. Some form. I heard screams and shrieks but they weren't hers. I continued stumbling forward due to momentum, with one outstretched arm I held three zip ties, then everything went black.
I awoke to a dawning sun and Sarah standing over me, smiling in pure joy.
"What..." I croaked, "What happened?"
"Sleepy. You took a nap. But no, really, we saved a bunch of guys lives before they went into respiratory failure."
"Oh?"
She just shook her head vigorously. "And look," she dangled something in her hands "a souvenir." It was a horn of some sort. As soon as she put it into my field of vision I started to feel dizzy again, slipping back into the darkness.
"Oh shit!" She cried. "Sorry, sorry, sorry! You're right. Don't look. Just know we got a souvenir." She stashed it back in her pocket.
"What...what was that thing? And you...wait how did you remove that horn?"
"I call it The Sleeper, because I'm just so creative. It's just another one of the things that roams at night. One of the sentry's talked to it thinking it was a person and let it into the perimeter.That's why we don't let folks camp out here. You ever hear this thing asking to be let in, you ignore it. You engage it in conversation, you look at it...then it has you. Not me, obviously, another perk of my condition where it's power is useless. As for the horn...well...", she pulled out her Gerber and with a flick of the wrist extended the pliers and started clacking them. "This, and some elbow grease. Had to restrain it first, though. Thanks for not passing out like a bitch before getting the zip ties to me, though."
"You...you're a savage. Where is..uh..it?"
"The Sleeper. I'm a catch and release girl, myself. I let it go."
"Why would you do that? If it can kill folks..." I trailed off.
She shrugged. "People follow the rules and The Sleeper is never a problem. Plus, it can come in handy from time to time."
"What for?" I asked skeptically.
She looked a little sheepish. "Oh...I don't know...."
I rolled my eyes. "Oh bullshit, what did Mikey put you up to?"
"The Suit said something to you and Mikey. Remember? He's a bit longwinded but he said something along the lines of 'soon new creations will displace the old', right?"
I nodded.
"Well, he kind of thinks of himself as a god so that would mean..."
"He thinks of us as his creations somehow." I finished for her.
"Right. And I don't know about you, but being replaced doesn't sound so good. So we need to figure out what exactly he meant and this" she patted her pocket, "..might just come in handy."
