Find your Voice

Chapter 8: My Happy Place

Chapter 8: My Happy Place

I did not want to go home. I was so afraid that Mandy would be there...oh god I could't think about it. I decided to sit at the park again not caring if they'd be pissed at me or not when I got home. Odds are they'd be pissed either way so I really didn't care. I wastched the kids play and smiled at their innocence. There were no ducks today with sadened me but it was still peaceful nonetheless. I thought about Mitch and then about Alex and the others. I wanted so badly to beat them up and stand up for myself and Mitch but I didn't know how. One of these days they would get what was coming to them and I would laugh in their faces. I really wanted to see Mitch beat the shit out of all of them likt he said he could but I knew that wouldn't happen. Mitch was completely ok with them beating him up the rest of the year which I didn't understand one bit. I layed my head back and closed my eyes still thinking of Mitch. Before I knew it I was dreaming. It was a beautiful place, filled with pink and yellow flowers. It smelled so beautiful and I looked up to see Mitch standing there waving at me. I smiled and walk towards him. I noticed a big tree filled with delicious looking apples and then a pond next to the tree. I walked over to the pond and saw goldfish swimming around happily. I reached my hand down and stuck it in the water. I felt a hand on my shoulder and looked up into Mitch's beautiful brown eyes. Life was perfect here. This is how things were supposed to be. Me and Mitch in the beautful place togeter. I awoke to a high pitched scream and jumped up startled. "OH MY GOD SOMEONE HELP MY BABY!" I looked over to see a hysterical woman pointng to a tree. 

"Mommy!" A little girl shrieked and other parents came over to look. I got up and walked over to see a little girl, maybe four years old stuck pretty high in the tree. "Baby just come down the way you got up!" The mother yelled choaking back tears.

"I can't! I'm scared! Mommy help me!" The little girl was on the verge of tears.

"Hold on!" I yelled and started climbing the tree. Wait what was I doing? I was halfway up before I realized what I was doing. I stopped and gulped telling myself not to look down. Damnit Scott look what you got yourself into. I looked up at the girl who was staring at me with scared, but hopeful eyes. I took a deep breath and continued until finally I reached her. "Hi, I'm Scott. What's your name?" I asked out of breath.

"Kenzie..." She said timidly.

"Hi Kenzie. How bout we get you down from here?" I asked sweetly and she shook her head.

"No..I'm scared! What if we fall?" She asked terrified. I sighed unsure of how to answer her.

"Don't worry Kenzie. I won't let you fall. Just hold onto me as tight as you can and I'll make sure you get down safe. Deal?" I smiled at her surprised by myself. Finally she nodded and climed onto my back wrapping her arms tighly around my neck. "Hold on tight Kenzie." I said and then begane to decend the tree. I barely felt her on my back as she was so small and light so it wasn't hard to get down. Once I reached the bottom and I handed Kenzie to her mother while the other parents applauded me. "OH MY GOD! Thank you SOOO much! You saved my baby!" She said through tears of joy.

"You're welcome." I said quietly and smiled at Kenzie before walking away. I can't believe I actually did that...I saved her. Maybe I wasn't as hopeless as I thought I was. Then my face dropped again as I thought, i could save a little girl sure but I couldn't save myself or Mitch from Alex and his goons. I was helpless compared to them. I sighed and made my way home. My mom and Jamed were going to be pissed that I didn't come home right away and I just wanted to get the beating over with.

I approached the house and only seeing my moms car I relaxed a bit. I walked inside and went straight to my room. I opened the door and saw Mandy sitting on my bed. I was startled and took a few steps back. "Wha-what are you doing in here?" I stuttered as she stood and walked towards me. 

"I'm here for you baby." She was definatly high. I shook my head and back away. I was then shoved forward by James and fell on my stomach into my room. 

"Don't make me hold you down Scott!" He growled and I let out a quiet whimper.

"No...please no..." I whispered as he grabbed me and pulled me up pushing me towards the bed and Mandy. "Lay down!" He ordered. I swallowed hard and got on the bed. I layed down and squeezed my eyes shut. There was nothing I could do but try to keep quiet while I let her take me, James watching the whole time making sure I didn't try anything. I zoned out the whole time and went to the place in my dream. It was bright, I saw the flowers everywhere and it smelled beautiful. Mitch was there and smiling at me again. This was my happy place, my safe place. I saw the apple tree and the pond with the goldfish swimming without a care in the world. It was the life I wished I had.

I watched the money exchange with disgust again before they finally left me alone in my room. I jumped up and ripped my blankets and sheets off my bed. I couldn't sleep on them, they were contaminated. I layed on my matress staring at the ceiling, picturing Mitch walking through the flowers with me holding my hand. Life was so perfect when I thought about him. He was perfect. The way he spoke, his confidence, the way he valued me...I was in love with him but he'd neer want me like that. Yeah he cared about me but not like that. Besides once he found out about Mandy he'd know how gross I was. No one would want that. 

I took a shower and then tried to sleep. But couldn't. James and my mother were fighting about the money that they got from selling me to Mandy, and about who deserved it more. I wanted to yell and scream at them to shut up but that would only get me hurt. So instead I attempted to ignore them which wasn't working at all. I heard a crash and sat up bringing my knees to my chest. Suddenly my door opened and James walked in looking pissed. He walked over to me and yanked me off my bed. "No! Please!" I cried as he punched me in the stomach and I dropped to the floor. He jumped on top of me and punched me again. 

"Oh so you'd rather beat him up than talk to me about this? That's just fucking great James! How can we have a relationship when you won't fucking talk to me!" My mother ran in the room and began to rant. "Shut up! You make me so fucking mad I just need something to punch OK!?" He yelled and got off me. I layed on the floor and looked up at them as they began to make out roughly. 

"What the hell are you staring at?" My mom snapped and kicked me. I yelped in pain and held my stomach. 

"Come on babe. I'm so turned on right now!" James said excitedly and my mom laughed as he grabbed her arm and pulled her out of my room. I stayed on the floor and closed my eyes. There it was, the smell of the flowers and Mitch. He took my hand and led me to the pond. I fell alseep thinking about Mitch handing me a beautiful yellow flower.