Interviewed by Freaks

Knitting a Trans-dimensional Gateway

I flicked through the magazine, stopping randomly at an article about a woman who was attempting to knit a trans-dimensional gateway.

"It'll be great," said the woman. "I'll use it to travel the multiverse."

"And where have you traveled to in this universe, Mavis?" the interviewer asked.

"Well, I went to Bognor once, but I didn't like it."

"But you live in Bognor?"

"Oh, only on the outskirts."

I heard a shuffling and looked up to see one of the receptionists, R2 if I'm any judge, stood in front of me wearing a balaclava. She had device in her hand which she brought to her mouth. When she spoke her voice was distorted. It was electronic and evil sounding.

"Do you want to see your fucking children again?"

I nearly leapt off the seat in fright.

"What the hell?"

"Give me a million dollars?"

"I don't have any."

"Any dollars?"

"No, any children."

R2 put down the voice device thing.

"Can I get you a glass of water then?" she said sweetly.

"No!"

I don't know why I said that. I was quite angry but also thirsty.

R2 spoke into the device again.

"Yes I can, you fucker!"

At that moment a man entered through a door by the lift. He stopped short witnessing the scene before him.