I cant tell you how jumbled up my thoughts are
or how recklessly sad I am
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I cant begin how to explain the pain that keeps my heart restrained in chains
And I cant put the blame for it follows all my shames to say how depression is famed
and the truth is lame
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I want to die
its all I want to do
because living isn't worth living
if all I live for is the thought of you
your the ice in my bones
your the pain I leave at home
your the love that wont leave me alone
your the defect I want to show
your the comfort that never grows
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if your the butterfly then im the wind
nestling you back so you cant leave me again
if your a paper then im the shredder
because we both know that being together isn't much better
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dripping blue river
as she slithers down my cheeks
savory royal water
being the release when I am weak
chemical filled diamond tears
rush down to stain my clothes
bitter sky eye turner
attacking blue in her skin like snow
she presents the nothing that I am
producing my inner skills
ripping down the satin curtains
showing the audience a shameless thrill
dark navy ponds of tears
gather for a reunion at my feet
while the crowd gasps seeing my colorful pain
but collecting attention puts me at my least
I ball on stage
compacting the whimpers to a whisper
I break weight to my knees
hoping to not slip in the blue blooded river
astonished, camera flashed booed and wowed
people applaud my azure misery as if I should be proud.
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its true
in other words its probably a lie because if I told you the truth youd know im not ok
