*mentions of drugs*
"Have you followed me here?" He asked urgently, watching her shake her head.
"No, someone from the help group said you mentioned running here sometimes. Helped clear your head." She murmured, glancing up at him then back at the ground guiltily again. "I figured I'd try and find you. You'd understand."
"Wanda, you can't be here..." he started, throwing a cautious glance towards Peter and Natasha before watching the brunette take a few steps out of the shade.
"I need help...James, you've gotta help me," she rubbed her arms, shivering despite the warm day. "I-I caved, alright! I used and-and then I couldn't get clean and now- now I want to do it. But I've still got all this stuff but-But....I don't want it and I can't make myself to get rid of it. But if I don't I'll use it, then I'll lose my job and then Rumlow...."
James sighed at the name, stepping into the shade of the trees, closer to Wanda, forcing her into the shadows more so their conversation didn't attract any attention.
"I owe him, he gave me...some stuff... said I could pay for it later." She stuttered on, and James swallowed his anger down hard. The sick bastard loved praying on the weak, and Wanda didn't deserve to be wrapped up in his scheme.
He'd fallen off the wagon plenty of times before. It happened, it was part of learning and recovering. She just needed the support to get back on.
He sighed, already regretting what he was about to do. He quickly pulled $60 from his wallet and handed it to her. "Take that, it's all I have in me. Use it to help pay him off and flush the rest of your stash."
"I-I can't." She shook her head, rejecting the money until he forced her to take it, glancing around to ensure no one was watching. He could see Natasha in the distance, scooping up Peter, seemingly oblivious.
"Take it, Wanda. And call your mentor."
"I can't! He won't understand," she sniffed, shaking her head quickly.
"That's what He's there for, Wanda. Just call him. And then if things are still bad then...then call me." He offered.
She quickly squeezed a small bag of powder into his hand, holding it there tightly. "Please take it. I know I'll use it, I know I will and I really don't want to." She was quietly sobbing now, trembling like a leaf even though her grip was vice like. "Take it. Get rid of it."
"Wanda, there's no way I'm taking that right now," he tried to give it back, but her grip was desperate.
"You're stronger than I am!" She half yelled, alarming him incase someone noticed.
He snatched his hand back and quickly shoved the packet in his pocket and sighed. "Go downtown, go to the meeting tonight, they'll put you up, help you through the detox."
She nodded shakily, and he quickly looked around the park again. "I really have to go."
She nodded, following his gaze to where Natasha was chasing Peter around, catching him and playfully pretending he managed to tackle her to the ground. They were laughing, rolling onto their backs as Peter began pointing up to the sky, discussing clouds with Natasha.
"Is that your kid?" Wanda asked quietly, admiring them just as much as he was.
"Yeah." He nodded once.
"And your wife?"
"No, not wife." He cleared his throat quickly. "Keep at it Wanda. You're better than this. Let me know how you get on."
***
They walked back home, entering the house laughing at the goofy story Peter was telling them enthusiastically.
"Alright little monkey, go wash your hands for dinner, you can play in your room until then if you like" she chuckled, watching him dash off excitedly as James followed her into the kitchen.
"Need a hand with anything?" He asked, watching as she checked down the hallway to make sure Peter was in his room before slowly walking to him.
She shook her head, giving him a small smile before she was right in front of him, running her hands into his shoulders. "Nope, everything is under control." She stroked his cheek with one of her hands, watching the smile spread along his lips to match her mysterious tone of voice.
There was a warm burst of affection for her in his chest, and a solid feeling of comfort when he slid his hands onto her waist and held her close to him. This was what he really wanted, not the drinks and the drugs like he'd foolishly thought and he could hardly believe it was happening. He exhaled and rested his cheek against her hand. "About last night, Nat-"
She shut him up instantly with a kiss, one he returned just as passionately as he held her flush against him, easing her gently against the nearest wall. What would he have ever done without this woman? He'd be dead, or comatose in a ditch somewhere with a needle in his arm frothing at the mouth.
"Natasha," He murmured against the feverish kisses, his heart beat increasing as her hands teasingly roamed along his body, his head dizzy as he was so lost in the moment. "I love you,"
She paused immediately, flickering her eyes up to his and holding his gaze, catching her breath as he stared at her slightly plump lips. Her bottom lip trembled slightly before she tilted her head down to her feet, scoffing once.
"You don't." She said simply, a shake of her head.
He inhaled, ready to tell her again, make it even more sincere so she'd see just how much she meant to him, how sorry he was.
But he didn't get the chance.
She held up the small bag of power from his pocket, watching his face pale to the same colour at the abusive substance, eyes wide in horror. She knew all along, of course she did, and she'd expertly managed to catch him out without a shouting match.
Her face was impassive, a numbness making her features unable to hold any true emotion. There was too many going through her mind to comprehend.
They stared at one another in harsh silence, the distance sound of Peter playing in his room happily the only sound until a knock at the door interrupted him.
"Nat, I can explain-" he started desperately, but she cut him off, shoving him away as she went to the door.
"Do you not think I've got one eye on you at all times?" She hissed. "I can't believe I was so fucking stupid." She ripped open the door, holding out her palm containing the small packet of powder as evidence before Steve stepped inside, eyeing Bucky with pity. Anger. Sadness. Disappointment.
"Get him out of here, please." Natasha mumbled, turning away from them both as she stormed off, ignoring James plead for her to hear him out.
"James," Steve said firmly, glaring at him when he tried to explain to him. "Not now. Not here." He emptied out the powder down the sink, washing it away and ensuring the empty packet was deep in the trash.
"I wasn't going-" he stuttered, but Steve shook his head again. "I swear, I wouldn't-"
"She text me around an hour ago, if it's not what it looks like, you could have mentioned it by now." He said sharply. "You're lucky it's me she called. Let's get you home." Steve nodded to the doorway, barely looking at him as he noticed his eyes start to well with tears. "Let her cool off, we can talk about it later."
James shook his head, quickly brushing away tears as he let Steve usher him out, trying to fight the crushing feel that he was pushed right back to square one.
***
Natasha sat on the edge of her bed, trembling with all the adrenaline she'd been holding in from the park. She'd spotted the girl before James had, and her gut instinct told her the rest. She pushed her hands under her thighs to stop them shaking, shutting her eyes tightly until she heard the front door close and Steve's car drive off. Then she exhaled with a sob, letting her hair fall forward as she dipped her head down and hide her face.
She didn't want to be back here, sobbing and worrying about the future, about Peter. She promised their life wouldn't be like this and now look at her. She'd let him get too far in, fallen for his stupid lies and he'd flung it right back in her face.
"Momma, where's Dad?"
And Peter's.
She tried to take a deep shuddering breath to calm down, never letting Peter see her so broken, but he was already in her doorway, fidgeting nervously as his own eyes welled up at the sight of his mother in distress.
"Don't cry Momma," he whimpered as his lip trembled, rushing forward to hug her as tightly as he could. "Don't be sad."
It made her worse, want to sob louder and harder, but she held it together, her voice wobbling as she let the tears fall but held him close to her chest while she pulled him onto her lap.
He pressed the palms of his hands to her cheeks, wiping tears away even though they were instantly replaced with fresh ones. "I don't wike it," he pouted, starting to sob too, breaking her heart more.
"I don't either, sweetie." She kissed his forehead, stroking his back as he buried his face into her neck. She closed her eyes, old wounds reopening as she had flashbacks of him being a newborn, nuzzled close to her for security because instinct bound them. They were alone in the big bad world around them.
Now everything was the same. Exactly the same...
She lay awake most of the night while he slept curled up beside her, his little hand still holding hers and their cheeks both still sticky from tears. Her free hand stroked his hair before pulling the blankets around then tighter.
They'd barely eaten, Peter hardly spoke, too upset to ask what was happening and Natasha knew it was because he understood it wasn't good. The kid was smart enough to read a room.
He was extra clingy to her, never leaving her side, holding her hand when she walked him to him room to get changed and scaled her like a koala would a tree whatever chance he got, trying to make her smile if he could, even though he didn't feel like it himself.
"I love you," she murmured to him softly, closing her eyes as she tried to let sleep consume her for a few hours. "More than anything." She whispered, letting the fee tears roll down off her cheeks to her pillow, before she was fresh out for the day, exhaustion overcoming her like it had with her son.
