Evanescent

Liam's head smashed against the window as the train rattled along the tracks, the clang reverberating through his clenched jaw. He could feel his teeth shake. The noise was constant and annoying--his head bouncing repeatedly against the cool glass--but he didn't have the energy or the motivation to move it.

He finally turned away from the window, closing his eyes. It was quiet on the subway at this time: the sun wasn't up yet, the pre-dawn sky lit only faintly by a pink-tinted glow. The outside landscape raced by, a towering city devoid of people. The world wasn't awake, but Liam was. Even the rest of the subway car was empty, standing as if abandoned, save for the young-looking boy sitting next to him. Still, it was better up here, on the above ground rails. The underground transit made him especially miserable.

"What do you think you're gonna choose, Liam?" The boy asked. He wasn't actually a child, but his frame was certainly deceptive. He was freshly eighteen but he had yet to hit his growth spurt in earnest, and he was still lean, not muscular as most boys his age were. It was a stark contrast to Liam's larger build, which embodied the ideal eighteen year old image. He wasn't an athlete, but he looked like he could have been.

Liam grunted once in response.

"No, I'm serious! You're running out of time." the boy said, his voice raising slightly in both pitch and volume. There was an uneasy urgency to it, and Liam knew why.

Annoyed now, Liam turned to face him. "Jack, do me a favor just this once, and shut up would you?" he responded, in a tone much more flippant than his choice of words. Liam was always cool under pressure, and today would be no exception.

Jack stared back at him, his lips pursed and trembling, but Liam wasn't sure if it was with anger or sadness. His charcoal brown eyes were darker than ever today, Liam thought. Sometimes though, when Jack was happy or the sun was out, they were almost golden. Today was not going to be one of those days.

And yet, today was comparatively easier for Jack than Liam, and although Liam couldn't bring himself to say it outloud he knew that Jack was aware of it too. Jack had the same choice, he was ultimately faced with the same decision--to learn how he would die, or when--but for him there was only ever one true option. Not for Liam. Liam had to make a genuine choice, and he needed to do it fast.

The silence was awkward now, stretching indefinitely. "I'm sorry." Liam whispered, looking down at his hands. They were clasped together, fingers clenched so tightly that his knuckles were turning white. They stood out against his plain black sweater, the sleeves slightly too long so that they hung over his palms. The color complimented his dark washed jeans, straight cut but not skinny.

"Yeah," Jack laughed shakily. The noise sounded out of place in Liam's ears. "I know."

Liam honestly looked at Jack now, really taking the time to examine his friend. He looked different, strange, almost funny--funny maybe in other circumstances--since he had turned eighteen. He had chopped his hair off, in an attempt at maturity maybe, and his once characteristically defining curls no longer sat on his shoulders, his copper-colored hair instead trimmed to his skull. Jack was paler than he used to be, too. It didn't make sense but Liam was sure of it. He attributed it to the stress of it all.

Jack's off-white sweater contrasted his companion's dark outfit, but it made the boyish teen look even softer. His tan khakis were just a tiny bit too small, and in Liam's humble opinion, definitely rolled up too high. Liam hated to admit it, but it was dorky in a kind-of-cute sort of way.

It wasn't exactly fair to be so hard on Jack when Liam wasn't fond of his own face when he saw it in the mirror either. His face was disproportionate, having grown sallow and stretched over the months leading up to his birthday. His eyes--the ones his mother loved, a beautiful carolina blue--were still gorgeous, albeit empty. But, that's what happens when you grow up. Whatever happened today he was going to have to live with.