Wait until the music's over

29. Take the long way home (Pt.1)

Matt is an idiot, no more no less than Mike. And I was so stupid to think he could care about me! I haven't seen him nor heard of him anymore since Christmas Eve at Stone's and, honestly, I don't give a fuck. He can stay alone with his guilty conscience as long as he want.

"Fuck yeah! True medication, finally!!" I'm trying to relax in the tub and drown my sorrow into bubble bath, when a crazy girl walks into the bathroom screaming like a Banshee. I almost drown for terror.

"ANGIE?! WHAT THE FUCK!" I yell at her, coughing away water and Vidal.

"Oh hi Beg, did I scare you?" my psycho roommate finally talks to me, as she's rummaging into the small cabinet over the sink.

"No, not at all, don't worry! By now I got used at your attacks against my mental sanity!" I answer, as I fish out the now useless cigarette I let fall into the bathtub when Angela stormed in.

"Sorry... Adyway, ehm, I'bback!" she exclaims and turns around to face me, happily waving an unknown vial in her hand.

"I noticed that, thanks a lot. As I noticed you're talking like shit" once I overcome the shock, I manage to sport a little smile. When it comes to picking on Angie, it's definitely worth the effort.

"Oh I don't wadda talk about it! You have do idea what it beans to be sick at my house, going through the hell of Bach flower rebedies, herbal oil 31 and all the fucking homeopathy" she explains, before taking a pill from the small bottle, popping it into her mouth and drinking some water from the sink.

"Something's telling me you're kind of skeptical towards unconventional medicine"

"I'b dot skeptical: it simply doesn't work, period. At least, dot with me. I need chemicals, I need wicked pharmaceutical corporations, the bost cutting-edge drugs, just give be all the drugs! How is it possible that a joint is buch bore accepted than Aspirin at my house? I claim my right to pill-popping, for fuck's sake!"

"Didn't you learn anything from big drug traffickers? You just have to mix it with coffee, the dogs won't smell it"

"The nose of the witch-doctor, that is my mom, is invincible" she replies with a dejected face.

"Try and chop it up with peyote, knowing your family it would go unnoticed"

"You think it's a joke. I did so bany eucalyptus steam inhalations that I was almost turding into a koala"

"Well, inhalations are good, they work! That's natural medicine, it has a scientific basis"

"But I can't understand why I should spend hours with my face over a cauldron of boiling water combined with herbs of uncertain origin, when I can easily take some pills and solve the problem more quickly" she points out, then tears off a few sheets of toilet paper from the roll and uses them to loudly blow her nose, which looks already a little reddened.

"Because using the cauldron you can do inhalation and facial sauna for skin cleansing at the same time!"

"Oh my god, that's why I've never had acne! You gave me a totally brand new prospect on by life!" she exclaims after a moment of silence, her face transfigured for the alleged shock.

"I missed you, asshole!" I tell her kicking my feet in the tub and throwing soapsuds at her, as she leaves the bathroom.

When I meet her again in her room, I see Angie has alreadly unpacked her bag and is picking up the clothes to wash.

"You don't waste any time, huh?"

"Dou, dever" she answers with an utterly serious expression, which doesn't exactly match her funny sick way of speaking.