~*~
Nagising ako sa panibagong umaga, isang umaga na di ko alam kung paano ko ba sisimulan.
I got up from my bed and sat there for awhile..
"Zia, anak gising na.. Breakfast is ready " malambing na saad ni mommy na nasa entrada ng pinto ko
"Gising na po" I replied as I look at her and smile.
Dumiretso ako sa banyo at naligo na.
As I let the cold water run down to my body, memories starts flooding in. Lahat ng kinatakutan ko it happened that night, nawala sakin lahat.
As you see, I'm almost good at anything. Good daughter to my parents, good student, a good friend and almost a good girlfriend..
But I wasn't good enough for him..
Humarap ako sa salamin, a full body mirror. Hinawakan ko ang tahi sa tiyan ko at sa bandang balikat ko. It's been 3 months since the accident na kinasangkutan ko. Mom and dad almost thought they lose me, I thought I lost my self.. Guess I did.
Depression and anxiety got me so bad that I don't want to get up from my bed, I don't want to go to school, I don't want to deal with the pain anymore.
But most of all I don't want them to get worried, they've been through alot and that's enough.
Kumain ako then as usual drive myself to school.
At first ayaw nila akong hayaan mag-drive mag isa, they were worried na mangyare ule na ma-aksidente ako but they got no choice I guess, they both needed to go to work and they can't drop me off kasi iba ang way ng work nila sa school ko and I made sure to them na mag iingat ako.
"Oh, diba si zia yan? Shooks ang laki ng pinayat niya"
"I heard nathan dumped her for some reason tapos she tried to kill herself "
"Buti may lakas pa siya ng loob pumasok?"
"I heard the dean considered her absences tapos di siya drinop. "
"Eww, kung may teacher's pet may dean's pet din pala"
A way to start a day.
I smiled as I walk passed by them..
Gossiping like I'm not gonna hear it, mga tsismosa nga naman.
"Wag mo nalang sila pansinin Zi" Lovely, my best friend since high school.
"Don't worry bes, im fine" I smiled.
I know I can get through this.
But..
"I heard na pinalaglag niya anak niya"
I froze.
"Zi? Zi" Untag sakin ni lovely
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I look back at her then smiled again, I saw how worried she is
"I-Im fine" I replied
"I'm fine, lets go" I cling to her arm.
At that moment gusto kong umiyak. Pero no, I can't let them see me in pain kasi that satisfy them.
The great Zialyn Veron is shattered into pieces, I can't bear that, I don't want anyone making fun of what I've become.
The next day it's all the same, I don't know if I can still go on.
Time pass so fast..
It was sunday, Wala akong pasok. Mom and dad are not home because of some meeting overseas to attend to
I tried na ayain si lovely na mag sleep over pero she said na nasa cavite siya dahil namatay lola niya.
It's 7:10 in the evening.
Everyone is trying to cheer me up lately so siguro dapat ako itry ko din.
I change my clothes, get my car keys then drove to the nearest mall that I can get myselft to.
From: Love
Sorry zi, I'll get to you as soon as I can.
To : Love
Don't worry I'm fine, thanks for being there love. :)
I just smiled. I'm lucky to have her as my best friend.
Naglakad lakad ako, window shopping. Wala naman akong gustong bilhin.
Di ko alam pero dinala ako ng mga paa ko sa tapat ng National bookstore.
Where I first met nathan. I smiled bitterly.
Damn Zi, napakamasukista mo.
Sunod na pinuntahan ko e yung favorite naming cinema,Cinema 2.. where he ask if I can be his girlfriend, naging habit na namin na lahat ng movie na ipapalabas sa cinema na yun e papanuodin namin kahit ano pang genre nun, kasi tinuturing niya na swerte sakanya yung lugar na yun kaya to pay in return? That's what he do. Corny nuh? Pero minahal ko ng sobra.
There is it again, the pain. Zia masokista ka nga.
I ended up having my dinner sa jollibee, Yes! Kahit 21 years old na ako I still love jollibee.
Malapit na akong matapos nung may biglang maghiyawan sa entrance ng jollibee na malapit dun sa fountain na open area.
"Omyyyygee, may nagpo-propose sa tapat .. Tignan natin"
Out of my curiosity na din agad kong tinapos yung kinakain ko.
I dunno pero parang kilala ko yung babaeng nakatalikod, her hair lenght, yung suot niya kilala ko or maybe I'm just imagining things..
Ganyan na ganyan kasi yung suot niya dun sa picture na sinend niya sakin sa messenger
Pano naman mapupunta dito si lovely e lamay ng lola niya
