It happens so often
Daily, if you had to know
No oxygen in my lungs
You say it's all in my head
But it's not
How could something, something like this, be all in my head
The crying
The shaking
The sweating
Is all in my head
Mind-numbing
Stomach churning
Heart racing
Is all in my head
Curling up in a ball
Screaming;
Is all in my head
It is all for attention
Not a cry for help,
I should know this,
As you tell me every day
Not being able to ask to go to the bathroom,
Ask the nice girl next to me for a pencil,
Throw away my wrapper,
Is all in my head
Making lists,
Going through every possibility,
Looking for every exit,
Is all in my head
Repeating my name in my head during attendance,
Don't mess up, don't let your voice crack
Practicing saying 'hello' and 'goodbye'
How to eat and walk in public
Is all in my head
Worrying about
How I look
What people think of me
My clothes
Does it look like I fit in?
Like I belong?
I need to fit in
But, it's
All in my head
Maybe if I told myself that once more
I'll start to believe it
-me
that shit hits hard🥺
