I traced my finger along the seal of the unusual envelope. Slowly, I broke open the barrier keeping me from what remained inside. I pulled out the letter and as I saw the hand writing, I immediately knew who had sent it.
"What is that?" My mom asked.
I tried to respond but I couldn't; I wasn't even sure of what it was.
"It's from dad." I said.
I couldn't describe the expression that came upon my mother's face. It'd been two years since I'd seen my father, it's not easy to keep a relationship with someone who's in prison.
In those two years, I'd gotten no letters, no phone calls, nothing. Not that I expected him to reach out to me, he never cared for me at all. After what he put me through, I wasn't too found of him either. So why was he making an effort now?
I decided to turn my attention away from the letter. I didn't want it on my mind while I was trying to enjoy my last few months in Michigan. I made my way up into my room and decided to finish packing. I had just graduated high school two weeks ago, and once summer was over I would be moving to California with my best friend, Adelaine. Later today we were flying out to LA just for a week, to look at some apartments and get more familiar with the area. We had already been to Los Angeles quite a few times, for YouTube conventions and other events that were going on. I was so anxious to get away for a week, to not have to go to counseling, and to keep my mind off of whatever was going on with my dad and this letter.
Once I had enough clothes packed to last me a week, I packed my toothbrush, deodorant, face wash, and hid my medication in the bottom of my makeup bag. No one but my mom knew about my depression and anxiety, and I was planning on keeping it that way.
-
LA, 6:04 P.M.
Once Adelaine and I had arrived in California and had a few hours to settle in, we decided to go grab some food. We found the nearest Qdoba and ordered our regulars. Adelaine had gone to find us a table while I filled up our drinks.
"Oh my god," Adelaine said as I sat down with her at our table.
"What?" I asked.
"Look who just walked in," she mumbled from across the table.
I slightly turned my head and saw the curly hair, realizing it was Jc Caylen. Adelaine and Jc have always been really close friends, but she hasn't been talking to him lately because she's realized she has feelings for him; and she doesn't want to jeopardize their friendship.
"Go talk to him." I demanded.
"No!" She exclaimed.
It was too late. Jc noticed us and began approaching our table.
"Adelaine and Paige!" He exclaimed as he neared us. "It's been months, how are you guys?"
"We're doing well, we're moving to LA after the summer." I responded.
"Really? That's great, you guys'll love it here." He said, then turning his attention to Adelaine.
"Why haven't you been answering my calls?" He asked her.
"I'm sorry, I've just been really busy and haven't had time to sit down and talk." She lied.
"Okay, well anyways I'd love to catch up with you guys more. We're having a party tonight, you guys should come." He asked.
"Yeah, we'll think about it." I responded.
"Sounds good. Hopefully I'll see you guys tonight," he said as he walked away.
-
"No." Adelaine said as we arrived back in our hotel room.
"You can't avoid him forever. You're so worried about ruining your friendship with him, but it's going to be ruined if you keep avoiding him like this." I told her.
"Paige, you of all people should understand. I get so nervous talking to him now, I have to hide my feelings and I'm horrified of him finding out and never being able to treat me the same if he doesn't have feelings for me, too." She said.
"We're going to that party, wether you like it or not." I responded.
-
11:38 P.M.
I slipped on my all black Chuck Taylor's to match my little black dress, leaving my hair in it's natural waves. I put on a red lip along with my winged eyeliner, and grabbed my phone.
"Are you ready yet?" I called into the bathroom, where Adelaine was finishing her makeup.
She finally stepped out of the bathroom wearing a black circle skirt and a red crop top, matching her red vans. Her light brown hair was straightened, draping over her shoulders.
"I'm ready," she sighed.
-
We arrived at Kian, Ricky & Jc's and made our way towards the entrance. There was a lot of people here, and I do not do well in social situations. Though, I was her for Adelaine, so I was going to stick it out.
We entered the house party and grabbed something to drink, myself grabbing lemonade, being that I'm only 18 and not much of a party animal.
"Just find him, and talk to him." I told her as we found a seat on a couch.
"I'm nervous." She replied.
"Everything will be okay." I tried to tell her.
"It wasn't when the same thing happened with you and-"
"Please don't," I asked.
"Sorry, I shouldn't have brought that up." She explained.
"It's okay, just act like you guys always used to and your friendship will be fine. If you eventually decide you want to tell him how you feel, then go for it. For now, just keep your relationship going, okay?" I encouraged.
"Fine," she sighed, standing from the couch.
Then Adelaine disappeared into the crowd to go and find Jc. I decided to remain on the couch, there were some people who could be here who held bad, old memories. I took out my phone to pass time, and decided to keep to myself.
-
1:09 A.M.
Time had passed and Adelaine was no where to be seen. I was hoping this meant she was back to normal with Jc, but something also worried me. I didn't known a good amount of people here and I wanted to know she was okay.
I dialed her number and hit call; no answer. I tried again, and there was still no answer. I then knew it was time to leave the beloved couch, shielding me from human interaction, and roam about this mad house until I found her.
I found myself pushing through hundreds of people, I was never going to find her in this place. I began to lose hope, and decided I would wait 'til people began clearing out to find her.
I began to walk a bit slower, wanting nothing more than to go back to the hotel and sleep. This party was a bad idea, I told myself. All of the sudden I felt a pull on my arm, swinging me around to the opposite direction.
There I found a tall, brunette guy who smiled down at me.
"Hi," he said.
"Hi?" I replied, with questioning in my tone.
"Can I get you a drink?" he asked.
"No, no thanks." I insisted. "I don't drink."
"Then how about we go and dance?" he suggested, pulling me closer.
"No, thank you, I really need to find my friend." I said.
"I think she can wait." He replied, his hand beginning to slide down my back.
I began trying to push him away, but he wouldn't budge. The lump in my throat grew bigger by the second, and I thought I was going to break down into tears.
"Let me go!" I demanded, bringing the attention from a few people surrounding us.
"Get your hands off of her," I heard someone say. As I looked up at the one defending me, the lump in my throat went away. Instead of having the urge to cry, I felt like my chest was closing in on itself. We locked eyes, and horrible memories found their way back into my mind.
I couldn't read the expression on his face either, he looked like he might throw up. Was it guilt? or just my presence?
I took the chance and ran, wanting to get out of the situation as soon as possible. I wanted to find Adelaine, and I wanted to leave. Now.
"Paige?" I heard him call, but I was already too far gone to respond.
