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Somehing that i learned this year

We all live our life following our passion or maybe just live following the way where ever life takes us.

What we actually are supposed to do in life?
Why are we even here?
If everyone is going to die one day which may be the very next moment even, then what is the purpose of our life?

Everything is temporary. From materialistic things around us to relationships that we make throughout out life.
Even parents are not going to be with us some day. Shall we be alone some day?

I have travelled a lot till now in my life. I have had friends when I was a child. I used to enjoy a lot in my childhood. I used to be proud of myself. My self esteem was touching the sky. I felt like I would never ever be lonely in my life.

When I entered my teenage, our family moved to a different city. So obviously, different city, different life style. I felt different there. I felt like something is missing. And I realised that I was actually missing someone to share my experience with. I tried to make friends there and even made a few. But they were not like the ones I used to have before. It was for the first time I felt lonely.

Life always doesn't go the way we expect it to. And maybe that's why Buddha said, "expectation is the reason of sorrow". But how can someone not expect something. We are created that way. We expect the very next thing that we do to go the way we want it to. So it is sure that everyone will be in sorrow for most parts of their life. But sorrow and sadness are two different things. I have seen people who don't have a joyful life but still are happy. It is probably because they choose to be happy. But also we can't control our emotions. We can't actually choose to be happy or sad, seriously. So how do they do that. I realised that they have made themselves like that. They are completely dead inside but the world sees only the happy side of their face. I have been trying to do the same too.

So yes, I just realised that I have diverted a lot from my topic. I was talking something about being alone. I realised that I am alone
during my teenage years. And to be true it is the time when most of us realise this. I thought that may be it's just me feeling lonely. I should share my daily experiences to my old friends. So I started sharing my daily experiences with some of my good friends but I soon realised that they were not responding the way I wanted them to. They were not showing much interest as they used to do before. I first was very confused that was it me who has changed and become more boring or it was them who have lost interest in my life. I then realised one important thing. "People show interest in those things which they can relate to". I understood that it wasn't their fault, it was mine. I expected them to understand something which they haven't experienced. Although they were kind and generous enough to listen to the whole boring stuff I used to say. So these are some of the things which I learned during my teenage years.

So what about this year? Why am I saying all the above stuff about loneliness?

Okay, so I am coming to that part now.
I realised one thing this year. We are lonely. Yes we all are. That's the reason we indulge in activities which give us social attention. We tend to go on movies, trips with friends, vacation with family and many others. Doing all this stuff gives us a feeling of not being alone. In a nutshell, we can say that we are not designed to be alone for a long time.
Although being alone is very less complicated as you have to deal with only one person in your life and it is you, the person you know better than anyone. That's how simple it is when you are alone. But this is also a reason why life becomes boring when you are lonely. Lonely and alone seem similar but are completely different. If you are alone, you might not necessarily be lonely and vice versa. But what if you like to be alone. You like to be alone not because you want to, it is because you think that people don't understand you the way you do. But being lonely sometimes becomes boring. You feel a bit left out and less confident and also this becomes a major cause of depression further. You are basically trying to help yourself getting out of that depressed feeling. But it is all in vain.
We need to understand that we all are alone and will be alone. But inspite of that we tend to make friends everywhere. Everyone can make friends irrespective of their nature. I myself being  ignorant and full of ego (what people say about me), have made some friends. I am lonely, self-centred person and still somehow manage to make friends. Recently, I went for an internship to a new city and even there within a few weeks somehow I made some friends and had a very good time there. I actually had never expected such things happening with me because of my nature. But yes it happened. I decided to share my day to day experiences wih those friends when I was there. And they also did the same. I noticed that they understood each and everything I used to say and responded in the way I wanted them to. We all enjoyed a lot during that period of internship. I finally came to a conclusion then. I realised that we tend to make friends and have better conversation with the people we regularly meet. You can't expect someone who you don't meet regularly, to understand what's all going with your daily life. So this is what I learned this year. Friends remain the same but the conversation part changes as we move far away from them.
We keep making friends till the end of our life. We keep talking to people till the end of our life. We all are lonely. We live to fill these voids of loneliness by meeting other people and interacting with them.
So what do people do to fill these voids?
Well there are many ways followed by everyone, even us. We only don't know that. We tend to make relations. Relations with friends, family and other people just to complicate our life a bit. Life is simple and boring when you are lonely. So we complicate it a bit by relationships.

I have a theory:
Life is like a race. Simple race. Our aim is to reach the finishing line. There is no winning or losing in this game. The only way you can lose is if you leave the field or someone pushes you out of the field intentionally or unintentionally. But the rule of this race is :- For each relationship you make, you have to tie one of your legs to one of the legs of the person you have a relationship with. That relationship can be with your friends, family or lover. The above rule shows that you are now a part of their lives as well. It means, their life might affect your life in a certain way. So more the relations you have, higher is the level of difficulty for you to run. This way life becomes complicated with relationships.
So this is the end of the long boring story I have written. Life really is strange. You don't know what is going to happen in the very next moment. This makes life scary but this is the only reason why life is not boring. More you predict the future, more boring life becomes.