The Girl in the Striped Bikini

Chapter Nineteen

Cale Morrison

I'm going to puke. To be honest, at this point I'm not sure if it's figuratively or actual. My stomach has been in knots all day. Ever since I kissed Kendal, I can't help but jump back and forth between happiness and a little bit of terror.

I think her decision has been made. Only problem is, she hasn't actually said what that is. For the most part my brain is telling me she has chosen me, but that other half, keeps giving me doubts. How can I compete with Jude? Someone she has known her entire life and actually lives on the same side of the country as her?

The way she kissed you though, my mind interrupts. The look in her eyes. How can it not be you?

All of these thoughts have been plaguing me all morning long. It wasn't going unnoticed apparently either.

"Freaking hell, Cale! Will you keep your leg still, please?" Carmen bursts out in exasperation. "I can't concentrate on my book with that thing hopping around in the corner of my eye."

I hadn't noticed my jiggling leg. Immediately,  I stopped and stared at it. This is ridiculous. Sitting here dwelling over this is not going to change anything.

"Cale?" I hear Carmen ask.

I look up at her as she is closing her book and sitting it back in her beach bag. She sighs. "This is all just a mess isn't it?"

I half laugh. "Pretty much."

"I just don't understand how it got to all of this," she starts, sounding sad, "because all I wanted was for you to be happy. Now I feel like I've screwed everything up for you. Maybe if I hadn't pushed, it'd be different right now. And now all this shit with Brody coming out of nowhere, I just don't think I can handle... I mean how the hell is that even happening? Out of all the people from our hometown we run into here—"

She pauses, her eyes are filled with tears. I know at that moment, she's hurting over Parker. Seeing Brody, and him hurting her has been harder on her than she has been letting on. She has always been the big sister, twin or not. Always trying to be the strong one and protect her pathetic brother.

"I'm so sorry, Cale. I'm sorry I interfered. I'm sorry I baby you sometimes. I'm sorry I didn't have faith you could do it on your own... And I'm also sorry I never told you about Parker and I when he was still alive. I've done nothing but doubt you our entire lives and that ends now."

I stare at my sister and don't know what to say. She's never like this. The only time I've seen her any where near like this was the funeral and the day she told me about her and Parker.

I grab her hand and squeeze. "You have nothing to be sorry about. I know you would have eventually told me if the right time had come. And you definitely don't have to apologize for doubting me. I've gave you every reason and right to do that. I'm working on changing that. This summer has helped. Whether this ends badly for Kendal and I or not, I think I'll be better for it in the end."

Carmen squeezes my hand back and smiles despite a tear that's rolling down her cheek.

"You're a pretty great guy, you know that? Kendal is an idiot if she passes up on you."

I open the cooler that is sitting to the left of my chair and grab a Mountain Dew. "Well, just hope she sees it that way too," I say as I crack open the can and take a sip. "We'll see though."