The Vogel

1 - Bird

"There's no telling when the islanders will use their powerful titans to launch an attack on the world and crush it under foot," Karina, Reiner Braun's mother, explained.

There was a loud crash outside. They all looked out the windows to see nothing.

She continued, "We Eldians must be the ones who prevent them from doing that."

"Yes," Gabi answered, determined.

"Because only then will the world recognize us as good people."

"Yes," Gabi repeated, eyes vehement.

"We must punish the ones who left us here...and escaped to that island. The ones who abandoned us..."

Reiner was filled with memories of when he was a tiny boy, trying to be strong enough, trying to become an honorary Marleyan, trying to regain his father.

But something pulled him out. There was something. It was close. It was coming. He heard whizzing. He stood in front of Gabi, protecting her with his body as something crashed against the house, straight through the window.

It was...a person. With omnidirectional maneuvering gear. He looked closer at her, craning his neck to see her face.

Her arms twitched, and her eyes clamped shut hard. She moved her arm closest to them. The entire family backed away, including Reiner. But she put her hand down to her chest, the pocket of her uniform. She pulled out an old piece of parchment, drawing parchment. Her eyes opened, and she unfolded it.

Reiner's eyes fell on the other side of the paper as she held it up carefully. It was...a drawing. A very realistic drawing of a family. She sighed with relief and put it in her pocket.

Her eyes fell on him. "Reiner Braun, Armored Titan, Murderer of My Family...finish me."

And he recognized her face. She was Mea, Mea Vogel.

"Do it, you damn coward."

She rose to her feet, blood covering their beautiful home. Her badge dripped with blood, making the wings even scarier than he already found them. She took a step forward.

"Why don't you kill me? Do it. I'm just another devil, just one of thousands. Don't you hate us? Don't you hate me? How dare I survive. How dare I live, being what am I? Show your family what a brave, heroic man you are. Shed the demon blood!"

She pulled out her blades and dropped them on the floor, all eight. She kicked them to him.

"But you're not even a man. You're an empty shell, a real sociopath. You asshole...you made us laugh and cry. I cried for you. You told me about that day as if it happened to you. You took another's story. You watched them flee in horror. You watched them die. Then you stole their story."

She shook her head, angry.

"I can't believe...I felt compassion for the man who killed my entire family, who'd go on to kill my squad leader, who'd go on to kill the man that saved me."

"What is it like...what is it like to be omniscient? What is it like to know that they deserved death? What is it like to know that Ray, a five month old fetus deserved death? What is it like to look at someone and know that they don't deserve parents? What is it like to have parents? I'm genuinely curious there. What is it like to have a home? What is it like to be able to go home...go home knowing someone is waiting for you? What is it like to not live in a cage?"

She took a deep breath with her eyes closed, her hand moving to her wrist.

"But I'm sure you have your own problems. I'm sure you were just some kind of puppet. I'm sure you had a reason to follow orders. I'm sure you needed to be treated better, like a human, even if that meant further demonizing someone else. I'm sure you really needed honorary citizenship. I'm sure you thought you were in the right. I'm sure you thought that if you kept doing what you were told, it'd be okay. I'm sure you thought it would help your family. I'm sure you never even considered anyone else's. I'm sure you felt something at some point. I'm sure you had and still have your reasons, even if I could never see them as more than excuses. I'm sure that my family's death really mattered to you. I'm sure that Commander Erwin's death is why you're still alive. I'm sure that whoever decided your life for you, whether it's whoever signed you up to be a warrior or the person that designed the program, rests easier at night knowing my father, a chair maker, and mother, a cleaner, are dead. I'm sure this world is better off now, with the small price of the entire scout regiment, finished off with 199 soldiers dying during a suicide charge. I'm sure that every last death has had a significant impact on you all.
Why...why couldn't we just live in the cage? Eren never would've became so bitter, so angry...enough to want to destroy the titans. I never would've known hunger or homelessness... You never would have needed to lose your comrades."

Her eyes finally moved from the scar on her wrist and met Reiner's eyes. She cursed under her breath.

"Why can't you say anything? You never stopped talking for three years. Everyone listened to you, everyone. Eren, Mikasa, Armin, Connie, Ymir, Krista, Jean, Marco... I listened to your every word, and I can guarantee you if you have something to say now, some explanation, I would sure as hell listen."

She stared at him with pure fury in her eyes.

"Aren't you angry? We killed him. We killed Bertolt, and we were going to kill you too. You heard his screams, didn't you? Or does it just blend in with all the other horrified shrieks you've heard? Do you remember mine? Do you remember Marco's? Do you remember any of ours?"

He just stared at her, speechless.

"Are you even mad? Don't you want justice for Bertolt Hoover? Kill me then; kill me now! A soul for a soul! But I don't have a soul like his. You'd have to kill a thousand of us to make it balanced. But maybe watching the light leave my eyes will help. Maybe watching my body fall frail, my last breath catch in my throat...home. My last word, home. I made that decision the day I joined the survey corps, the day I saw Commander Erwin Smith. I was prepared to die for him, bleeding out alone, cold and starving. I decided the last thing I ever said would be 'I'm going home.' Because you took my home from me. You took everything from me. You took my father, my brother, my sister, my mother, and the baby she was carrying. I dream to see them again, even if it's in the hell I'm most certainly going to. I'm going..."

She stared at him expectantly. He was frozen.

"Well? Do it! Kill me like all the others, like my father, mother, bother, sister, and little Ray. Let me see them! Let me see them as more than a collection of bones and fertilized dirt, sprouting grass and weeds. Let me see more than just the bones of four humans, and smaller bones, bones that don't quite look human. Maybe a bird...just a bird, a Vogel."

She stared at him again, not breaking eye contact.

"You took everything from me. There's nothing, no one left. You took him, the man that saved the little girl crying over her mother. 'Mommy, what are we gonna do now? Where will we go? Where are we gonna get a new crib for Ray? Where are we going to put the nursery? Mommy? Mommy? Mommy, why aren't you answering? Daddy! Daddy, mommy isn't answering! Why isn't mommy answering? Daddy? Annabell? Annie? Annie, why are you ignoring me? Kurt?' You remember her, don't you? You looked at her with your titan eyes, and all you could think was about the regulars cleaning up. Isn't that right? But then, a man grabbed her. He held her close to his chest as he zipped away."

"He said 'It's alright now. Just close your eyes and breathe, kid. You're safe, and that's what matters. It's okay to cry. Just take a minute.' And he took her to safety. But you took him away too, didn't you? You took away the only person who gave a single shit about me. End my life. I'm just another one of thousands. Let me join them. Make me join them in our perceived hell."

She put out her wrist. "Do you know the best way to cut a human wrist to cause maximum bleeding? Just follow that scar. Make sure to cut deep."

She stared him down. "I'm going. I'm going. I'm going. I'm going. I'm going. I'm going. I'm going. I'm going. I'm going," she repeated, staring into his eyes.

"You bloody coward. You're too weak to kill me as a man. You're too weak to watch the light leave a human's eyes as their vision fades and brain function grinds to a halt. You're too weak to see that. I have. I was nine the first time. It was my mother. I know her final thought was about the child that had died, was dying, or would die inside her."

She looked over him, revolted.

"If you can't kill a person while looking in their eyes, you shouldn't at all. You coward. I can't wait until we meet again. What is it, a few years at most for you? I can't wait to see your face when you realize we're going to the exact same place. Because in the end, we're both devils. And it has nothing to do with what we are, only who."

She backed away and shot an anchor behind her and turned her body, her eyes falling on Gabi. She shook her head sadly and zipped away.