How a Heart Unbreaks (#Wattys2019)

Chapter Twelve

I couldn't believe he had the nerve, to come back to me. What did he think I was? Some reusable plastic bag?

"I know what you're thinking about me, right now. But you never let me explain that night.",he said.

Was I just jumping to conclusions?

"I never told them that we were dating, Avril. Just because I kept going to meet you so often, my friends started this joke about us dating, which soon turned into rumours. "

I looked ahead at an old couple, which was walking across the street. They looked so happy. "Why are you even bothering to explain this to me?"I asked.

"B-Because I don't wanna lose you too."

Oh, so he was playing the Aaron card now? "What do you mean Rick?"I asked. "You don't wanna date me, right?"

Then there was silence for a minute.

And another minute.

And another.

I looked up at him, trying to comprehend, why my life was so messed up,"Please tell me this is not true."

"I can't, cause it is."

I laughed bitterly, "Is this some sort of joke to you? My life?"I asked.

"I've always liked you."

"There it is! Are you seriously telling me you liked me before Aaron died?"I asked.

"Before you even started dating him."

This was too much to process. So much had happened in the last week, than any month in my life.

"What do you want me to do now, Rick? "I asked.

"Just give this thing a try."

"But I don't feel that way about you. And I never will. I'm sorry, but I've always seen you as Aaron's little brother."

"Aaron, Aaron. It always has to be about Aaron. Why can't you just move on? He's dead!"

How could he?

I stood up, as tears started welling in my eyes. I grabbed my water bottle and started walking in the direction I came from.

"At least let me drop you, to your dorm?"He asked.

"I don't wanna be around you for another second." I said.

But then I decided, I needed this ultimatum, to get over him. I wasn't gonna run away this time."Look Rick, I don't mean to sound like a bitch. But you can never replace Aaron. Never. Nobody can. I thought you were my friend. But I guess that's ruined now."

"This is about him right? The guy you went out with earlier? The one that made you get a tattoo? So you can let him replace Aaron, but not me. The one who has been there for you all along."

"Why are you acting so immature? You know that this, me not wanting to date you, has nothing to do with him."

"You know what, you're right. Even then, you never gave us a chance and even now, you won't.",he said, as he turned and walked away.

* * *

I had no idea, why I hadn't gone back to my dorm yet. I'd already had enough drama for the day, but the warm glow of the Bonfire felt quite inviting. All the college crowd had disappeared by this time in the night, leaving me alone with my thoughts.

I just sat there in the silence, hugging my knees, my eyes trying to concentrate on nothing else but the dancing flames.

It feels as if, all this drama had been piling up for a while. And Darien's coming into my life, sort of triggered it all. I know, I was being stupid blaming my life's problems on him. But I had nothing better to do.

So I stood up to leave, when I saw a lone silhouette standing against the tree that was behind me.

"Leaving so soon?"Darien asked.

"How long have you been standing there?"

"A while. Just really curious about what you were thinking. Would you mind sitting down again?",he asked.

I nodded and sat down.

We both stared at the flames.

"Why do you always run away?"

"It-It helps me to stop thinking about the problem. To clear my head."

"You're lying. It only makes you think about it, more. And besides, it also doesn't solve the problem."

"I don't know any other way, it's like, when I run, I feel like I'm in this, this race. Like I have to reach the finish line. All the problems are my opponents. If I leave them behind, I'll win?" I said it like a question. I had never really put how I imagined, what running felt like, into words for anyone.

When I turned to him, he had this strange expression of wonder in his eyes, as he stared at me. "Why do you wanna give up? Why do you not wanna live?",he asked.

"Honestly, I don't know anymore. It's the only constant in my life. My wish to die."

"If you ask me, I don't think your life is that depressing. People have gone through hell and back and still lived to tell it's tales. Not a lot of people get an opportunity like you, to come up after a tragedy in life. So when you have it, you gotta grab it and show life that you can still keep your head high, 'when life punches you in the gut.'"

I didn't know what to say. I had never seen my situation, with a point of view like this. "So will you give me a chance, when I tell you, that I can show you, life's worth living for?",he asked.

I looked up at him, biting my lip.

"You'll never know if you don't try Avril."

____

Thanks for reading!
Don't forget to vote!