Nico's POVNico almost feels bad, with him and Will and Will's three suitcases taking up the space of the elevator. The strap of Will's duffel is digging into his fingers, red lines buckled around them and every time Will turns, his backpack hits Nico in the face. But figuring out how they're going to possibly fit everything into the tiny elevator is better than talking, Nico supposes. Because for the past week the talking has only grown more painful, the conversations stilted, like they were when they first met. It's as if three years of dating had suddenly gone down the drain and they were back at the beginning of their sophomore year when Will's chorus teacher still considered him a soprano and Nico hid in the leather jacket that once swallowed him but now, fit him like a glove. Anything was better than going back to those days.
The elevator dings and, wordlessly, they step onto the fourth floor of the building, already humming with activity and pre-school excitement. They hear laughter coming from inside one of the dorm rooms but there's none of that between Nico and Will; only the tense, charged silence that neither of them is ready or willing enough to break.
They drag the duffel bags down the hallway, past doors cracked open, to reveal freshmen setting up posters, smoothing down their comforter five times over. There's a window between the bathroom and the janitor's closet and Nico pauses to peer out of it, eyes sweeping over the verdant green campus, the bushy trees with select few leaves starting to turn. Nico can see why Will picked it over a New York college, one that would bring Will a mere half an hour away from Nico. The campus is gorgeous, and there's no denying that. "Nico?" Will pauses in his steps, glancing over his shoulder, eyebrows creasing in the middle.
"Yeah, sorry. Coming." He rips his gaze away from the campus, following Will down the hall.
They're standing in front of the door, neither one daring to open it. Opening it will make it feel final; that they are starting college in a few weeks, that Nico really will have to leave Will soon. Will glances down at the floor, running his tongue across the roof of his mouth, bouncing on his knees. Nico watches him, swallowing nervously, waiting for Will to make a move. But he doesn't; he stays, almost completely still, making occasional eyes at the door and suddenly it occurs to Nico that maybe, Will is just as nervous for this as Nico is. "Will?"
"Yeah." Neither of them says another word but still, they both know what the other means. Will lets one of his bags drop to the floor and it thumps as he pushes his dorm room open, the creme walls blank, the bedframes bare. It's so empty, lacks so much character.
"Looks like your roommate isn't here yet."
"Yeah." Will swallows, glancing at the floor. He bends down, wrapping his hand around the strap of his duffel bag, but he waits before picking it up, his back still bowed, his fingers trembling.
"I can't believe it's here. I can't believe you're leaving."
"Yeah, me neither."
"I can't believe it's so far."
"It's a three and a half hour drive to New York."
"Yeah. But it's so far." Will smiles a thin smile that doesn't reach his eyes. It's a sad smile and he bumps his shoulder into Nico's, still staring into the dorm room.
"How about we don't think about that right now."
"How can I not think about that? I'm going to drop your stuff off and then maybe we'll get dinner and then I'll leave and move into college and then it'll start and we won't see each other until break. How can I not think about that?" Will sighs softly, tossing his bags into his room before setting his hand on Nico's back.
"You're freaking out."
"I have a right to freak out."
"Tell you what. We have one final night together. One final night when we hang out like normal, see everything that Baltimore has to offer."
"Baltimore isn't that interesting."
"It's a major city."
"We live in New York City. It's, like, the most major city in the country."
"Still. We have one final night together, explore until the sun comes up and then when you have to leave, you have the right to freak out all you want." Nico frowns, tossing Will's duffel bag onto the floor of the dorm room and crossing his arms over his chest but he leans into Will's touch, his head resting against Will's shoulder.
"I want to freak out right now."
"Yeah, I know you do, but it's not good for you, and I don't want my last memory of you before going to college to be of you freaking out and worrying about how long it takes to drive between Maryland and New York, or the next time we're going to see each other. You want that to be the thing I think of when I think about my boyfriend?" A tiny smile spreads onto Nico's face.
"That's cruel."
"I know, but it worked. Come on, let's get dinner. I'm starving."
When they walk outside they can see the heat rising from the pavement but the trees lining the path through the campus offer some shade, a break from the sun so they walk in the grass, hand-in-hand with Nico's head resting on Will's shoulder. They talk about everything; the newest season of their favorite tv shows, the latest celebrity gossip that neither of them looks for but always end up knowing, contemplating how on Earth that man can wear lime green pants and a zebra print shirt and think it looks good. It feels like word vomit, both of them trying to get out as much as possible. Because sure, they can text, call, and facetime. Sure, they'll drive up for impromptu visits on long weekends, and they'll see each other vacations, but this feels like the last time they'll ever see each other as if they'll separate and slowly forget the other. The thought sends chills up Nico's spine so he lifts his head, pressing a soft kiss to Will's cheek. If they make enough memories in the final night they had together, there was no way they could forget.
The campus itself is quiet but the city is bustling with activity and as soon as they step off of the green grass they're being jostled around by fifty bodies going to fifty different destinations. If Nico closes his eyes, it would feel like New York. Of course, he wouldn't, because he has no doubt he'd either be kidnapped or killed on the spot, but it makes him happy, to imagine Will in a place that could at least feel like home.
"So, this is it, huh?" Nico says, peering up at the skyscrapers, the never-ending smooth blue of the sky. "This is where you're gonna live for the next four years."
"More than four, probably." Will bites his lip, glancing at the sidewalk. It's cracked, with tiny grass sprouting out from the depths of the Earth. Cigarette butts litter the ground, and Nico almost trips over an empty soda can. "If I do the med program."
"Oh. Yeah. Forgot about that." Another eight years.
"But I won't be here for the whole time. I'll come home a ton." He squeezes Nico's waist, pressing a kiss to his forehead. "Don't worry about it, 'kay?"
"Yeah. Of course." He doesn't believe a word he's saying, and based on the way Will's face falls, Nico knows that Will knows it.
"Come on." He nods to a tiny burger place, the light inside warm and the smells drifting out to them tantalizing. "Let's get dinner."