I love you still, I always will

TRES : All you have is yourself

"HAHAHAHA wala talagang magkakagusto sayo mataba ka"

"Hoy ang itim ng batok mo!"

"Ang taba para kang drum hahaha!"

Those are the words that kept on lingering my mind whenever something from the past triggers me out. I've received tons of words like that from my classmates and even my friends. Depression was an understatement for what I am feeling that time.

I began to lost myself, feel disgusted of myself. I began to hate my parents. I learned to hurt myself.

Grabe yung lakas ng loob na taon taon kong inipon parang nawala nalang bigla.

I was crying and crying so hard that I cried my heart out kasi wala kong masandalan... Wala kong makapitan... Kung hindi ko to iiiyak....masasakal ako sa sarili kong problema

The past keeps on haunting me wherever I go, No matter what I do and that's the worst thing in my memory.

I woke up with puffy eyes from all my crybaby moments. As years go by I learned how to be tough, to be emotionless and not to care in so many times. I dont know what was wrong with the past, Why does it keeps on pestering me? Why does it keeps me Vulnerable.

My heart was still heavy from all the emotions that I kept in here it wasn't still enough.

Siguro nga panget ako,mahina ako, at lahat ng ayaw nila meron ako pero Pucha! Tao rin naman ako! Hanggang kelan ako gagantohin na pagdating sa iba ni makanti lang nanginginig na pero ako umiiyak na pinagtatawanan pa .

Siguro nga hindi mundo ang unfair, Ang unfair yung mga tao mismo.

Out of frustration, I finally decided to get up and Go to the gym.

Andito nako pero tulala parin ako, Iniisip ko kahit gaano na ko sexy o kapayat ngayon ayaw parin nila ko, na kahit napatunayan ko nang may magkakagusto naman sakin sa huli.... wala rin naman sa kanila yung sineryoso ako.

Maybe that's what life wants, Na sukuan ko nalang lahat ng to at tuluyan nang mawalan ng pakielam.

I jog for like 15 mins since walking distance lang naman ang gym mula sa bahay.

"2hrs" I said to the girl on the counter as I handed her my membership ID

Planks, Push-up and other Cardio workouts and so as lifting weighs are included in my routine here at gym.

Being sweaty makes me really happy, Honestly I've been doing this since 4th yr HS until now na may trabaho nako.

Kase I've come to my senses, I realized na hindi ako habang buhay dapat maging mataba. Na malawak pa ang mundo mas marami akong magagawa kung healthy ang katawan ko, Sakitin kasi akong tao. But after all nakaya ko naman, at kakayanin ko pa.

No one nor Nothing from the past could ever take away my sparkle again, I promise that to myself. Always remember that self-care is the best care cause at the end of the day all you have is....yourself.

I finished my business at gym tas bumalik narin ako ng bahay. I already took a bath and I still have no plans on doing something or getting out of my bed so I decided to open my cellphone then a notification pops out of nowhere

You are invited to the Grand Reunion of batch 1995-1996
Venue: Aznall residence Forbeswood subd. Valenzuela city.
9 o'clock in the evening.
We are expecting you to be there!

Then After I read that message from our class secretary way back then.... I was immediately attacked by my friend's messages......

Oh no! Does that mean.... I'm gonna see him again?