"You're so fucked up," Liam seethed into his phone. "You know damn well that I am tired as fuck. You have no heart, do you?!"
I uncomfortably gripped the steering wheel as Liam shouted at Zayn on the other line. I could hear him laughing hysterically through the small buzz of the cellphone line, which made me pray for his life.
Liam moved the phone from his ear. "Turn left here," he said to me and returned the device to his ear. "STOP LAUGHING YOU ASSHAT PIECE OF SHIT!"
I held back a small laugh and turned left, following hus directions.
"Yeah, yeah. Whatever," he mumbled. "Just know that when I see you, I'll murder you!" Before Zayn could possibly even talk, Liam hung up the phone.
I let out the breath I was holding in and relaxed. "You okay?"
He scoffed. "Is that really a question?"
I let out a small laugh. "You're really tired I guess," I said, trying to lighten the mood a little. "What has been keeping you up?"
"Homework, studying," he answered, "the usual thing that keeps a senior awake these days."
"Tell me about it," I agreed, rolling my eyes. Though I was a bit surprised that he would be the kind of person who studies.
"Keep going straight, then turn right," he instructed as he leaned his head on his fist.
Then, silence.
It was the kind that you wanted to say something, but you just couldn't find words to say. I desperately wanted to start a conversation, but I just did not know what to tell him, nor did I know what kinds of things to talk about that wouldn't piss him off.
I quickly glanced at him, and he was awkwardly twiddling his thumbs.
I cleared my throat. "So..." I began,"are you sure you don't have a favorite author?" I asked, trying to start a decent conversation with him. It's been a few days, and I just really wanted to have a good conversation like the one we last had about dance, except this time, it's about books.
He looked at me. "I already told you, Jess. I don't have one."
"I doubt it," I mumbled. "I think you're just embarassed," I joked with a smile.
He huffed. "Are we really having this conversation again?"
"You don't have to be embarassed to tell me," I said. "You can trust me."
"What makes you think this is about trust?" he asked, rubbing his temples.
I shrugged. "Whenever someone gets overly defensive about something, they tend to be hiding some sort of truth. When they hide the truth from someone, they don't trust them."
"This is not about trust," he repeated.
"Sounds a lot like it. Why do you have so many walls up?"
"I don't like talking about it-"
"Hey, I'm just trying to get to know you."
"You are asking personal questions."
"I asked about your favorite author. Not about your life," I argued.
"You're fucking annyoing," he mumbled.
I rolled my eyes and sighed. "No, Liam. That's you," I replied just as icily. I shook off my attiude, knowing that this was not the best time to be losing my temper. "It's not a bad thing to let someone in once in a while, you know? I know you have walls up, but someone has got to knock the down, right? I may not be Harry, Niall, Louis, or even Zayn, but I'm still someone who happens to care about you and wants to get to know you, alright?"
I don't know where that speech came from, but I'm pretty sure it came out of my mouth. I hadn't even know what it meant when I said it, but for some reason, I felt that I meant it. It just somehow came out.
He rolled his eyes after a while and leaned back into his seat. "I'm not telling you my favorite author."
I smirked in amusement. "So you do have one."
"Shut up and keep driving," he told me. But the tone of his voice was different than it was a moment ago. His tone shifted from icy to playfully joking.
He's so bipolar.
I rolled my eyes and gave a small laugh. "I'll get it out of you one day."
"No you won't," he pushed. "I'll never tell you." He smirked and crossed his arms.
"I doubt that," I teased back.
He huffed. "Can we please talk about something else?"
"Fine," I snapped. "What are your plans for the future? If that's not too personal," I teased, earning the exact reaction I wanted from him.
He looked at me. "My plans?" He laughed. "Why is it that every time I am with you, you want to know something about my life."
I shrugged. "I don't know. Just wanna get to know you, I guess. I mean, if we're gonna be friends, then might as well do so, right?"
"You wanna be my friend?" he asked me in a tone that was between confused and surprised.
"I'm driving you home, aren't I?" I shrugged.
He remained silent and leaned back in his seat, saying nothing as usual.
I turned right and continued on another road.
He sighed loudly. "Berklee," he mumbled.
"What?"
"That's what I want to do with my future," he said as he looked at me. "I want to attend Berklee School of Music and get my degree in music theory."
I raised my eyebrows in amazement. "Wow," I breathed. "What di-"
"Ahh shh," he shushed me. "That's all I'm going to tell you. Turn left," he instructed and I closed my mouth. "So, enough about me. What about you?"
I shrugged. "What about me?"
"What do you want to do with your life?" he asked, and began picking at his fingers again.
I sighed and shrugged. "To be completely honest, I don't know."
He stopped for a moment and looked at me. "So what you're telling me is that you have no plan on what you want to be, or who you want to become?"
I shrugged and shook my head. "I have some ideas, but I'm still trying to find myself, you know? I wanna see whether or not I'm capable of being the person that I decide to be."
"So what do you have in mind?" he asked.
I blew out a puff of air in thought. "Teacher is one, Clinical Psychologist, Pediatrician, or an Author."
"And where are you planning to attend to pursue them?" he questioned.
I stopped at a red light. "My friends and I are planning to apply to UC Irvine together and get a house up there."
He laughed loudly and clapped once. "Oh my fucking g- you're that kind of group."
I dropped my mouth open. "What's that supposed to mean?"
"You know... that one group of friends who never want to seperate and always do the chessiest of things; like go to the restroom together or pick out each others clothes for the next day."
I rolled my eyes. "We do not," I argued, but I would be half lying.
Jay, being the gay one, is awesome at picking out my outfits, and I refuse to go out looking like someone without a fashion sense.
He laughed and shook his head. "Whatever you say, Jess. Turn left to the next neighborhood and right into Jaxon Street."
I did as I was told and began driving down the road that he had directed.
"That one," he pointed, the car approached a decent sized house.
I pulled into the driveway and quickly shifted the gear into park, knowing that this was as far as we will ever get to bonding today.
"Well," I breathed and motioned towards his house. "See you around."
He smiled and unbuckled his seatbelt. "You know, Jessie, you're not that irritating."
I scrunched my eyebrows. "Uhhh... thanks?"
He rolled his eyes. "It was a compliment. Not everything I say is an insult, you know." He opened the door. "Thanks for the ride. I owe you big."
"Anytime," I waved and he shut the door.
I watched as he ran through the rain, unlocked his door, and walked inside. I stayed there for a minute, thinking over his words to me.
You're not that irritating.
"Not that irritating, huh?" I mumbled to myself.
I laughed and shook my head. Another wall was broken down, and I was getting closer to seeing the person that Liam really is.
~~~
