Phosphenes

Twenty-one

"Maybe you wonder
where you are,
I don't care
Here is where time is on our side"

"Can't you wait for simbang gabi? Kakanin in the middle of the day? Really?" Thirdy asked me in amusement.

"Why? Don't you have cravings? Saka ilan days pa yun. Ang tagal pa."

"It's less than a week na lang."

"Four days to be exact. Four. Days." I made an emphasize to the last two words.

"But still less than a week."

"But still four days." Arghh. I'm not giving up until he's seen where I'm coming from.

"Hahaha! Half-full, half-empty attitude. Take your pick."

"Easy for you to say when you're not the one in the position. And you could've just turned down my invitation you know."

"As if kaya ko."

"I know." I beamed at him where he just rolled his eyes at me.

It's true. This guy would go with me in Timbuktu if I asked him to. Wait. Erase that. Even if I don't ask him to.

He's already finished his lunch while I dig in my bibingka with gusto. He just watched me in amusement while I just, well, don't care.

One thing that hasn't changed? He always makes sure na magreklamo whenever I have cravings. While I blame it on hormones, he said I'm just matakaw. But he still, and always finds delight in my katakawan. What a weirdo!

Before, I was weirded out whenever I hear about friends falling in love with friends. Coz I mean why would you want someone who saw you eat like a construction worker after work, heard your decibel-intensity burp, and most probably smell your fart? That was just gross.

But now I understand. Falling in love with friends who you've shared a lot of things is as natural as breathing and as easy as waking up in the morning.

And I'm glad I don't have to pretend to be someone I am not. In fact he finds glee in seeing me acting like a lost puppy in the city. Adorably awkward, his words.

I noticed him fidgeting over his phone.

"Hey what's that?"

"Just weird reaction from people over my shared post."

"Which one?"

"About waking up in the morning, saw that?"

"Yeah, yeah. What about that?"

"Here. Read it."

"Duhh! Don't they have something better to do? Daig pa nila si google. They have explanation for everything."

"Well some people only believe what they see online. That what you posts, retweets and likes are the reflection of your entire life."

"Hindi ba pwede kasi funny lang? Or gusto ko lang i-like kasi friend ko yun nagpost?"

"Hahaha! Exactly di ba? Or pwede din kasi may mga friends ka relate sa meme. Ang dami pwede reasons and they assume they know something that others do not."

"Privy lang huh?"

"Entitled."

"Exactly. And the fact na they are using fan accounts only means na they want to hide a part of themselves. What made them think na sila lang yun may gusto itago? Sila lang may deserve ng privacy? Double-standards naman."

"Kain ka lang. Kumukunot yan noo mo. Hahaha!"

"Kasi naman. I hope din that people would stop being gullible. Don't take everything at face value. Hanggang may naniniwala sa mga perpetrators na to, hindi sila titigil. How do we say that in tagalog? Something like manloloko?"

"Walang manloloko, kung walang magpapaloko."

"That!! Teka! Let me do something." I got my phone and kept scrolling until I saw something that I like. "Done."

"What did you do?"

"May ni-like lang ako. Makikita mo sino yun mga followers na toxic."

"Mean. Hahaha."

"Why? Some people refuse to learn. You should be thankful if there are still people who want to teach you something, even the hard way. Remember the opposite of love is not hate, it's indifference."

"You really are something Beatriz."

"I know, right?"

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Mass of the first night of Simbang Gabi has ended ten minutes ago. But I'm still inside Gesu waiting for mom. Actually there are still a lot of people inside the church. They were talking about raising funds to buy goods for noche buena for underprivileged families. That's all I understand. My eyes are busy looking at the figures outside, two men in particular.. dad and Thirdy.

I wonder what they're talking to.

The Ravenas are actually outside, too. But they're within striking distance from Thirdy and dad.. kaya ko kinakabahan. What could they've been talking about? Wag sana ako. If they want to talk about me, I wanna hear it. Not when I am not around.

Finally, mom led me outside.

We both greeted the Ravenas first. We were seating at the pews near the front during the mass while they were at the back kaya ngayon lang kami nagkausap. And ang aga kasi namin dumating.

I was about to go to Thirdy and dad nang biglang nagjoin na sila sa amin.

I was eyeing Thirdy. He just shrugged in answer. Weird how we're able to talk without words. Yes, we are in that level already. Well, it happens pag madalas kayo magkasama.. whatever relationship you have.

Hindi ako papayag na hindi nya sabihin sa kin ang pinag usapan nila.

"So pano una na kami?" Tita Mozzy said to my parents in particular.

We bid our goodbyes. Then Tita Mozzy said, "Thirdy ingat pagdrive ha?"

Nagulat ako pero kunyari deadma lang.

So saan punta ng pagong na to?

But my chinita eyes are betraying me. Hindi ko alam kung may ililiit pa to pero naiinis talaga ako. I can't help it. It's his birthday tomorrow. Less than three hours to be exact. And may lakad sya. Must be birthday salubong with his circle.. or probably his teammates.

Suddenly, nasad ako. A part of me is wishing na makasama sya on his birthday.

Or at least mabanggit nya sakin na may plans sya.

But hindi ako girlfriend. So I can't complain.

And I should be happy for him.

Ganun talaga dapat di ba?

Be happy for other people's happiness. Lalo na if the people is so dear to you.

"Hindi pa ba kayo aalis? Mas lalong gumagabi." I was brought back to reality when I heard dad's voice looking at Thirdy.. and me?

"Hinihintay ko lang po si Bea. Mukhang nauna na umalis at malayo na ang narating." He chuckled.

"Sige na. Ingat sa pagdrive. Ibalik mo yan Thirdy walang labis, walang kulang. Happy birthday." Mom hugged Thirdy after those words while dad just looked intently at him. He seemed to understand and nodded to my dad.

Then he smiled gratefully.

I  am so freakin' lost.

What the hell is happening? Maiiwan ba ako dito with him? My family just left me with him. Hindi nila ako niyaya. Pero wala din sinabi si Thirdy kung may lakad ba kami after.

I don't want to be the assumera girl.

"So pano? Happy birthday. I'll see you when I see you?"

"Heyyyy! Iiwan mo ako?"

"Di ba may lakad ka?"

"Correction, tayo! Unless gusto mo ko madisappoint sa birthday ko.. like two years ago."

"Not funny."

"Sorry. Haha! Wag ka nga sensitive dyan. Samahan mo ba ako or gusto mo pa ako lumuhod ngayon dito?"

"OA! San ba? Magpapaalam lang ako.."

"No need. Got you covered." He winked.

"Sure ka?"

"Oo. Hahaha! Wala ko balak mabura sa map ang Cainta."

Then, off we go.

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P.S

Dragging. I know. Sorry. ✌🏻 But it would defeat the purpose of the title kasi pag ni-shortcut ko. Kung naiinip kayo matapos to? Believe me, mas lalo ako. 😂😂😂