Zions POV
"Bae, it's time to get up." I felt Edwins hand touch my back. I knew he knew I was already awake. I turned around to look at him.
"How do you feel?" He moved his hand to my arm, gently rubbing it against me. "I feel like I'm very grateful that I have you by my side to get me through this. I didn't think you were actually coming back."
"It don't matter what we got going on between us, you need me more than anything right now."
"Thank you for coming boo." He gave me a side smile and leaned forehead to kiss my forehead.
"You have to shower, come with me." "I can do it myself."
"I'm gunna help you anyway." He pulled the covers off of me and got out of bed to go into my bathroom.
I really didn't want to get up. I didn't even want to go to the funeral anymore. But, I knew if I didn't go I would regret this for the rest of my life.
"Zion!" "I'm coming boo."
He leaned against the door frame of the bathroom and waited on me until I got out of bed. Once I was close enough he grabbed my hand and fully pulled me in the bathroom with him.
"I turned the water on all the way to hot cuz I know that's how you like it. But if you want to change it then be my guest. C'mon, take yo sweats off."
He gently pulled them off for me, helping me get out of them. But once he seen I wasn't moving after that, he softly sighed and moved his arms around my neck.
"Caleb, I know you got a lot going on in that big ass head of yours, but I need you to work with me baby. If you don't go today, you know you gunna regret it."
"I just don't feel like I can do it." "You can, you the bravest man I ever met in my life. Be the man I know you are."
"I know I ain't been the best boyfriend, but please don't leave me again?"
"I ain't leaving you again, I promise."
That made me feel a lil better, but still, he can get mad at me again and walk out all he wants.
"Get in the shower babe. I'll get your clothes set out." "There in the-" "I know where they are, I put them there remember?"
"Yeah I forgot." "Get in, imma be waiting on you when you get out." He closed the bathroom door on his way out and left me alone.
If Edwin ain't come this morning and didn't treat me like I'm a child, I wouldn't be getting my ass in this shower right now.
The water felt good stinging against my skin. The stinging help numb some of my pain as it trailed down my body. This seemed to be doing more justice then the drugs.
I gotta stop doing them. Right now it feels like the only comfort I have, which is why I have the urge to turn to them these days.
Whatever, Edwin can't find out. He'll lose his shit and I seem to be doing just fine by hiding this secret.
After finally actually showering and a lot of debate to stay in or not, I got out. I went over to the sink to brush my teeth and wash my face so I wouldn't look like the piece of shit I've recently been.
"There you are, I thought I was gon have to drag you out of there. Yo clothes are hangin on your closet door. I'm gunna start breakfast fo you guys, or did you need my help getting dressed?"
"No, I got it." "I'll be downstairs. Yell for me if you need me."
I wasn't gonna make him come all the way back to my room if I needed him, that's rude and selfish of me. I'll just push through.
I quickly put on the suit my mom picked out for me. I couldn't get my tie done so I just left it alone.
I stole some of my dads jewelry a few days ago and hid it under my clothes. I made sure my outfit was good and went downstairs to Edwin.
He was sure enough making breakfast. I ain't want him to but if I told him to stop he wouldn't.
"Boo you ain't have to do this." "I wanted to. Don't forget to do yo tie." "I don't know how to do it." "C'mere I'll do it."
I watched him as he focused on doing the tie. He did it effortlessly.
"How you know how to do this?" "I got a bunch of uncles. I used to watch my mom do there ties when we went to church or sum. Kinda just picked up on it." "Well thank you." "Your welcome babe. Sit at the table, I'll bring you your food."
He's really taken care of me. I have to make up for the problems I've caused between us. I was so in my head that I didn't even appreciate him. He didn't have to show up today and I wouldn't be mad if he didn't, I deserved it.
"Here you go mi amor. I'm gonna get myself ready, I'll be upstairs okay? Please eat Zion, I know you haven't had a real meal in a while." "I'll eat all of it I promise." He squeezed my hand and went upstairs.
I took tiny bites of the eggs he made. I haven't had much of an appetite recently. Nothing seemed appealing to me at all. I also haven't been able to sleep. I know my dad wouldn't want this but it's like I have no control over my own body anymore.
"Yo finally eating?" "I'm doing this for Edwin." "Of course you are. He made breakfast?" "Ya."
Kékéli sat across from me and put her hand over mine. "I know you trying your hardest to keep it together, but it's okay to show some emotion." "I don't know what you talking bout."
"Yes you do. No matter how hard you try to hide yo feelings you know I can tell. I just want to make sure you aight."
"Ke, if you know me then you know I ain't okay." "I know you ain't, but whenever you ready to talk about it I'm here. And you know you got Edwin."
"I just ain't ready fo all that Ke. It's too soon." "Well whenever you are Zion. And don't wait forever to tell someone how you feel like you always do. Hiding yo feelings for something like this ain't healthy."
"Like I said, I ain't ready." "Aight, be like that. I gotta go make sure my other brother okay since you ain't opening up right now." "I'm sorry Ke." "Don't say sorry. It's okay, I love you Zion. Family forever, it's all we got and we need each other." "Family forever Ke."
The both of us got up to hug each other. I tried my best to tell her how I was feeling in this hug, and I'm sure she understood cuz her grip tightened.
"It's gon be okay baby bro." It felt like I wanted to cry right now, but my body wouldn't let me.
"Okay Ke, go make sure Eloms aight. I'm okay." "I'm always here Zion." "I know."
It was my turn to check up on Edwin. The attention has been on me.
My baby still need attention no matter what I'm going through.
When I waked in my room, he seemed to be struggling to get his pants buttoned up. It was really cute, but I knew he was frustrated out of his mind.
"Boo, you need help?" "No! These fit just a couple days ago I swear." "Maybe you should put on-" "No Zion, I'm not wearing those stupid maternity pants."
"Well baby you can't wear sweats." "I'm gunna get them on, jus give me a second."
Why is he so stubborn?
While he continued to struggle with his slacks, I found the jeans he tried to hide from me. I stopped him from trying to button his pants and shoved the pants in his hands.
"Caleb-" "Don't try to smooth talk me. Put them on so your comfortable." "There ugly!"
"So what? It's only a few weeks before babygirl is here. After today you can wear sweats everyday like you've been doing. And I know you've already done a lot for me, but let this be another favor."
"Bae, I'm gonna look stupid!" He whined.
"No you not. You gon look beautiful as always."
"I don't want to wear them!" "Edwin, what else you got to wear?" "Nun." "Exactly, put them on baby."
"I hate this fucking stomach bruh!"
I knew he ain't mean it, but the fact that he was really worried bout his appearance recently has been buggin me.
I was told by María to compliment him as often as possible, but he always find a way to talk down on himself on top of my compliment. I don't know what to do at this point.
Maybe I should do sum special. It can be my apology and make him feel good. I'll just ask María, she the only person that knows him like I do.
"Okay I'm ready! Sorry I took so long. I obviously need to throw away all of my clothes when we move because none of that shit fit! I'm out here forcing stuff on when I know damn well I look like a elephant. I mean seriously like-"
"Edwin!" "What?"
"Just shut the fuck up! Okay?"
"Zion, I've been gone for three days cuz of the way you been talking to me."
"I didn't mean it like that. I just mean shut the fuck up." "What's the difference?"
"All this talking bad about yourself. Baby you fucking pregnant. Your gon gain weight, things are gonna get bigger and swell up. But at the end of it all, we are getting the best gift out of it."
"Well yeah I know that."
"Then why do I have to keep making you realize how fucking fine you are still? I'm sitting here stressing to María bout you. The last thing I need right now is for you to be doing this to yourself. For you to be doing this to me. I already got a lot of shit going on. I don't need you doin this stupid shit that's irreverent."
I heard him sigh and walk over to me. His hands went to each side of my face forcing me to look at him.
"You right. I'm worried bout the wrong thing right now. How you doin baby?"
"When we walk into that church with my mom, Ke, Elom, my boys and everyone else. Promise me that you'll be there with me. Holding my hand and letting me cry on yo shoulder if I need it." "Of course you can baby. You got me, I promise."
"Can I hug you? Is that okay?" "Yeah it is."
I wrapped my arms around his waist and rested my head in his bump.
After today, there ain't gon be nun on my mind cept one thing.
Protecting my family, Edwin, and most importantly, my baby girl.
