I Won't Tell If You Won't

Rachel

   Sitting at my vanity I couldn't stop smiling, that was until I heard the alarm on the garage door. Rolling my eyes I was still very pissed off with K.C. Serenity lucky that ass whooping Shay gave her was light. Don't get me wrong, I'm  glad he came, honestly a part of me thought he forgot. Standing in the doorway we stared at each other. Neither one of us saying a word. Looking away I was not going to let him take me there.

"You looked beautiful"

"Oh, I'm sorry. You talking to me?"

Walking over to the dresser he removed his cufflinks and took off his jewelry. Deciding it was still my night I moved around the room like he wasn't even there. At one point I just admired my body. For a twenty nine year old woman, you couldn't tell I had twins. I mean, I still had a little pudge but you couldn't really tell. I can say mama's boys did gift her a little bit more in the hips an ass section. Let this go on record when I say, I was not complaining at all. Now my girls, I was always blessed there, I can thank my own mom for that.

Pinning my hair I turned my music on and hopped in the shower. I wanted to clean my body before I enjoyed the rest of my night. Singing along to my girl Ella Mai I swear her music spoke to me.

🎶🎶I just have a gut feeling
Don't know why I don't know
What is was, really
But the more we touch, the more it starts killing me
Killing me
Just have a gut feeling
Killing me

I'm the first to speak my mind if I feel a way
Not the type to be here crying in my pillowcase
Is it nothing? Or something?
Ooh, yeah🎶🎶🎶

  Every word she sung I felt like she was talking about me and K.C. I knew when he first stepped out me. Of course, he denied it, then he admitted to it later when the chick started stalking him. Last I heard she was in Arizona with family members getting her life together. After that it took some time but we got back on track. This time I couldn't even tell you when he started it again.

🎶🎶Mama said never love a nigga more than he love me
See my daddy said the same thing, and he a OG
Your love is all I can think of
I don’t want it, boy I need it now
My heart is telling me I’m crazy
Cause I shouldn’t be sticking around

Everybody know in the town
I’m the one that’s holding you down
You the one that’s hoeing around
Everybody know, everybody know in the town
But I’m the one that’s still here now
Still here
Still loving my baby like he ain’t did nuthin
But that’s still my baby, yeah he still the one🎶🎶

Stepping out of the shower, I almost bust my ass, trying dance and finish my concert. For the first time I honestly didn't care about anything. I even grabbed my phone and started videoing myself. Swinging open the bathroom door I didn't see him in the room, hell I wouldn't even care if he was. He was not going to stop my little party.

🎶🎶So I'm waiting for the sun to come up
Take me for a ride in your Beamer
Let's just roll the top down, ain't gon' stop 'til the stars are above
Wish that you would talk to me
'Cause I don't really know just what to think
Got me now, runnin' round, looking for your love
Kinda makes me wonder
Why you playin' with me?
Kinda makes me wonder
Do you think of me?
Kinda makes me wonder🎶🎶

Picking up my glass, I was sipping, twerking and in my own little world. I was definitely feeling myself. I started to text Raven but I figured her and Larry was somewhere making babies. It was after one o'clock in the morning anyway. Slipping on my robe I turned my music up a little louder. I had no kids, I just found out that I got the position I wanted. Who wouldn't be turning up? Turning around he scared the shit outta me.

"Holy shit!!! You scared the hell outta me. Why the hell you just standing looking crazy?"

"Haven't seen you dance like that in a long time"

"Probably because you was to busy out fucking other bitches"

"Not going to argue with you tonight Rachel"

"Good. Dont."

🎶🎶🎶Ooh, yeah, yeah

I put my feelings on safety
So I don't go shootin' where your heart be
'Cause you take the bullet tryna save me
Then I'm left to deal with makin' you bleed

And that's a whole lotta love, ain't tryna waste it
Like we be runnin' a mile to never make it
That's just too bitter for worse, don't wanna taste it
That's just too bitter for worse, don't wanna face it

But I think that I'm done trippin', I'm trip-trippin'
I've been sippin', that's how I control
This feelin', you keep givin'
You keep on hittin' it, ooh, oh
Maybe it's your love, it's too good to be true
Baby boy, your love, got me trippin' on you
You know your love is big enough, make me trip up on you
Yeah, it's big enough, got me trippin' on you, trip-trippin' on you🎶🎶🎶

Looking him in the eyes as I sang the song, I went back to doing what I was doing. Feeling his hands slide around my waist and sway with me, I wanted so bad to push him away. Damn, why did it have to feel good being next to him? Maybe it was the wine or the drink? Hugging my body these were times that I missed. Just me and him vibing, laughing and having fun together.

"I'm sorry Rach"

Blinking the tears away, this what I was not going to do. Turning around I pushed him away, I was not going to let him take me there.

"What the fuck Rachel?"

"Get out"

"Rachel…?"

"Get out K.C. I don't want you near me."

"Come on Rachel"

"Come on Rachel what? YOU FUCKED MY BESTFRIEND K.C!!!!!"

"Man, FUCK THAT BITCH!!!"

"You did that already. You know what? Just get the hell out"

"No"

"GET. THE HELL OUT!!!!!!"

*Crash*

Throwing the glass at him, I missed and it hit the wall. He lucky I didn't grab the bottle itself, hell I still just might. Huffing and puffing I was not playing with him.

"Fuck it"

"That's right. Leave. Get Out"

With every word I pushed, shoved, and mushed him out the room. I was tired of looking at him.

"Go find you a bitch to fuck. Ain't that what you do best?"

"Yea, according to you. But you better be careful what you wish for"

"You better be careful. What goes around comes around"

"What's that supposed to mean?"

*Slam*

Locking the bedroom, I knew I wasn't going to sleep with another man. He didn't need to know that though.

*Bang*

*Bang*

*Bang*

"Rachel open the fucking door. What's that supposed to mean?"

Turning my music back up I was done with his ass. Even if it was just for tonight.

   🎶🎶🎶I deserve everything that every girl says she needs
I need your heart, I need your time, your loyalty
Can’t believe you got me out here looking stupid
I’m the one that held you down when you was losing
Now you got me feeling like shooting Cupid
Cause you did me wrong

So when you come running back from the past you’ll be out of time
Because I’m done with your ass, you know that you is out of line
And if you ever move on to another one that you find
I hope you fall and you break your heart like you broke mine🎶🎶🎶…….