He's My Mate

Chapter 24- Resistance

As soon as Alarik could see my face, his smile started to fade away. He watched me cautiously as I got closer, looking like he wanted to run, but was frozen in place. 

"What's wrong?" he whispered. 

I gave a choked laugh as a tear escaped the corner of my eye. I wiped it away quickly before it had a chance to get too far. 

I walked past him, knowing full well that he was following me. I kept walking until we were by the shelter near the center of the park. I looked at the benches that were scattered around, the place where people gathered when they had parties or when kids just came to hang out after school. 

I stopped and turned around to face Alarik and I knew what he saw there. 

"No," he said quietly. 

"Alarik-"

"Allison, no. Why are you doing this again?"

I wanted to break at the sound of the pain in his voice. It was impossible to keep a hold of the anger when I was breaking down like this. I wasn't going to get the chance to see if this would actually work. To see if Alarik and I would actually be able to do this. Instead I was going to live the rest of my life wondering 'what if'. 

I bit back a sob and looked at the ground. I was a fool for thinking I could do this. But I had to. 

Think of Cassie, if you don't do this, then what will happen to her and her parents. You might be alone for the rest of your life, but at least you'll still have your best friend. And Jason will be there for you. You can do this.

"Alarik, I can't do this anymore."

"You can't do what anymore? You can't keep giving up? Because I agree with that. You wanted to give this a chance Allison, and I do too. You're my mate and we belong together, for better or worse we can get through things. The fact that you didn't reject me that first night, or even after I told you about Hazel proves that. We may have had a rocky start, but we've still pushed through that."

"We only got this far because you made me sign a damn contract!" I said angrily. At least there was still one thing that could pull at my anger. That was good, I needed to find more of that, think of those times that I just wanted to pull my hair out because of him, that shouldn't be too difficult. 

"I was wrong to have done that. I was just scared that you would leave me."

He took a step closer to me and I took a step back, keeping the distance between us. 

"Allison, I'll admit it. I wasn't the best person. I was used to getting everything that I wanted. Girls didn't really tell me no, and whatever I wanted my parents usually gave to me. I thought you weren't going to be any different. But when you walked away that first time, I saw you as a challenge, something I would win.

"You aren't that either though. You're a girl, you're my mate, you're my other half. Even in this short time, I've come to realize that I wasn't a good person before. I didn't have anyone to really care for, I was living pointlessly. What kind of pack wants an Alpha who can't keep himself under control? You showed me that I wasn't good the way I was, and because of that I've started to change. 

"I don't want anyone other than you, I don't want to be close to anyone but you. I wouldn't choose any other person, and that's why I told my father that I wouldn't marry Hazel. I don't need her, I need you."

Now I wanted to turn and run. How could he possibly do this now, after all this time? He was a jerk, he was an ass before. And now I wanted to get sucked into every word he was saying, actually I was having to force myself not to get sucked in. 

I couldn't listen to this now, because if I did then there was no way that I was going to be able to finish this. 

I had felt my heart throb when he had mentioned Hazel, the woman he had slept with, the woman his father wanted him to marry. 

I thought about telling him about what his father had said to me, that he was the monster making me do this. But I just couldn't do that. Alarik looked up to his father, and while I couldn't really understand why, I didn't want to ruin his family. I couldn't destroy a family no matter how messed up. 

"Please, Alarik." I said shakily. 

He took another step forward, trying to reach out for me and I took another one back. I couldn't let him touch me, if I did then I knew this would all be over and I hated how affect something like that had on me. I already wanted to be in his arms, I didn't want to do this. If I felt his touch, if I let him intoxicate me, there was no way I would keep the last bit of strength I had. 

"You can't do this," he said. I saw the change in his eyes. He was determined to keep me from saying it. He didn't want me to do this any more than I did. He had been fighting for this chance and he wasn't going to give up easily. He wasn't just going to let me walk away without a fight for us. If I hadn't been breaking down, I may have smiled at the thought. "Say it."

I knew he wasn't talking about what I was trying to say. He wasn't wanting me to say that I reject him. He was wanting me to say just the opposite. My head snapped up, looking into his eyes, seeing my shock reflecting in the surface. 

I tried putting more distance between us with his abrupt change, feeling the wall of the shelter come up behind me, but he wasn't going to have any of that. 

"Say it, Allison," he said, his voice low as he trapped me against the rough wall. 

A shiver ran down my spine, his voice pulling at me, the power in it making me want to do anything he asked. 

I shook my head, afraid my voice might betray me. 

His teeth lightly grazed my neck causing a sigh to get past my lips. I could feel him smile against my skin. He knew he was going to get what he wanted one way or another. 

I tried to slip away, but he grabbed my wrists, pinning them down tightly. He pressed his hard body against me. I was aware of every inch of him that was touching me. 

"Don't think you can just leave. We're not done yet." 

My stomach tightened at his words, the desire inside burning for him. My damn body at war with my mind yet again.

He slid his hand up to the edge of my shorts, slowly working it's way up as his mouth trailed small nips from my neck to my collar bone and lower, stopping only when he reached the fabric. 

I could feel my resolve weakening as his hand reached its destination. 

"Say it," he demanded.

I moaned, my head tipping back as he moved expertly. I wanted to say it then, I really did. But if I said the words, there was no going back. 

"I can't." My voice sounded defeated and I just stopped moving. "Please, I can't Alarik," it came out as a whisper, but my voice tried to convey what I couldn't with words.

I felt the shift in him again, his body froze and he backed up I could feel the shock at himself radiating. 

I tilted my head back, looking up at the sky as my tears flowed freely now. Somehow I had resisted it. I had really wanted to say it, I truly had, but I had known I would never be able to live with the concequences of those words had I said them. 

"Allison," he said, barely a whisper. 

I slammed my fist against the wall and moved to get out of there. I shifted into my wolf and started running. I knew he was following me, I could feel him as he chased, staying right on my heels. His wolf chasing after mine. Even Aurora was having a difficult time with this, she wanted our mate, but she also felt the connection with Cassie and her wolf as I did. She didn't want to betray her anymore than me, so we ran with Alarik in pursuit. 

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