Steel Sword's Collection

☆ weightless ☆

It had been hours since he lost consciousness. Or had it been days? Weeks? Ares couldn't tell. There was nothing for him to judge time with. Everything was dark and his limbs felt numb. Like he was suspended in the inky blackness of the sky. Occasionally he would hear something. Distant and muffled but he could never make out what they were saying. So, he was left alone with his thoughts. Unable to act or speak.

I didn't deserve her... Was the most prominent thought on his mind. Right after it was the constant chant of, I failed. I didn't protect her. I promised her I'd keep her safe. It all hurt. Everything hurt but felt oddly numb at the same time and he hated it.

He wanted to hurt. He believed he deserved it, he wanted to feel something. The last moments before he was pushed into the darkness replayed behind his eyes that burned with tears. Despite everything feeling weightless he could feel the burning hot tears roll down his face and catch on his stubble. His throat hurt, it was raw and shredded with shouting. His muscles jolted in pain randomly as if he was being pulled and tossed about despite not feeling anyone moving him.

Only his thoughts were with him. He couldn't even see himself, his eyes either closed or set forward into the darkness. He couldn't tell. He didn't care.

He had failed the one mission he truly cared about in his life and he was paying the price. He wanted to pay it, he wanted to hurt and ache and grieve because he deserved the pain. Ares knew he failed. He had let Lyra and their child get hurt and die. The weight was on his shoulders and he had to bare it.

"I.. hurt her.." He whispered. Speaking felt like hell but he forced himself to do it anyway. A screwed up form of punishment he thought he could give himself. It felt as if every time he awkwardly forced his swollen lip open a thick sludge filled his lungs but he could still breathe. It hurt and ached in ways he'd never felt before.

"I let.. her die.." He continued and tried to wince in paint despite the feeling like chains were holding him in place. After what could've been more hours or even days or months he finally felt something. A tug at the center of his head like something pulling his mind.

And with that extra tug he woke up.

And he didn't remember anything.