childhood memories

chapter 38

I was woken by my brother crying within his crib, wailing for attention and blabbering out nonsense.
As I sat up a dreadful sound shattered my ears.
Mother and father was arguing again... downstairs were they thought I couldn't hear them.
Getting out of bed, slipping on my slippers and nightgown i slumped over to Zane, turning on his little nightlight.
It illuminated his teared up face.
His eyes were ached and his star wonzie glued to him from all the sweat and aggressive sobbing.
I sighed, smiling slightly as his hands reached up to me.
Picking him up I yawned and patted his back, letting him nibble on the strands of string spiking up from my gown.
He must have heard the arguing...he never did like that.
"Hey...it's alright"
I stated.
"You're safe, see, with me"
As I took his little rattle from the crib he drooled and watched me closely.
I shook the rattle a little and this got him laughing, giggling away them tears.
He snatched it and waved it in the air, making me chuckle softly.
"Good boy"
I praised, sitting on my bed after switching off his nightlight.
"Mm! Mm!"
He whined loudly within the utter darkness.
Switching on the lamp at my bedside seemed to calm him.
"Heh...still scared of the dark?"
I chuckled.
He admittedly nodded and hugged my stomach, shaking the rattle behind my back and giggling at the sounds.
I forced up a smile for him, too focused of checking whether father would hear it or not.
He can hit me, he can do all he likes to me...but Zane is protected and I won't allow his childhood to just be washed away.
I mean...heh, look at me.
I bet mother and father left me alone for most parts of my childhood... crying in my crib... starving... lonely.
When I heard I'll have a brother...I-I was overjoyed! Finally a playmate!
But... that isn't what a brother is.
A brother needs someone responsibile, a mother and father figure and...well, someone that loves them.
I would never let him grow short of any of that.
Sighing and pulling him away from my stomach i layed on my back, holding him above me with all his glory.
He giggled and kicked his legs, stretching his arms and rattling the toy as he wafted them up and down.
It was as if he could fly.
And he could.
With my help, my aid...he'd be free from all this below.
If it meant me staying, being the backbreaking stilts to support him...id do it.
My arms grew weak and I very carefully lowered him down to rest on my chest, shuffling to lay in bed.
He pouted slightly but noticed my exhaustion.
"Alright...g'night bro"
I huffed, reaching for the light.
He wacked my hand midway and blabbered something.
"Pardon?"
I chuckled
He blabbered it again, hugging me tighly.
"Light light"
He pouted
"Awww...Okay...just for five minutes though"
I smiled
He giggled and closed his eyes, listening to my heart while nibbling his rattle.
My eyes watched the ceiling and I couldn't help but close them too, my bitten fingernails stroking softly against Zane's head.
They felt through his hair and ear, soothing him gently to sleep.
He's such a sweet boy...
I wish he'd never change...
Unknowingly my consciousness slipped away from me, and both of us slept there, leaving the light to scream up the wall repeatedly as it flickered.
I never really dreamt...
It was just me and the void...alone, scared...heh, Terrified that I'll wake to pain.
...W-Why, why, why, why!
"The fuck is going on here?"
My father snarled, having walked into our room.
As I sat up Zane scurried off of me, watching from his little play corner.
"Did you leave the light on all night?!"
He practically screamed while I gathered my bearings, feeling my hair.
It's too early for this...
"...Oh shut up dad..."
I mumbled beneath my breath.
...he heard.
"What was that?"
He snarled.
Zane looked over, tilting his head as my fist shook.
"I said"
I glared, standing.
"SHUT UP!"
I finished.
Rather quicker than I originally expected he gripped my hair firmly and very roughly snapped in my face.
"How dare you!"
He yelled.
Zane flinched down.
"Get off of me!"
I demanded, hitting him.
However, it wasn't exactly helping...just making him more furious.
Taking off my nightgown he span me round and pinned my chest on the bedsheets.
"Ack! No!"
I cried out, tearing up.
"Oh please Garroth, you can't give me backchat and expect no punishment!"
Garte chuckled, pulling his belt off from around his waist and wrapping the end around his bruised up knuckles, having no doubt gained them from my last beating.
"N-Not while Zane's here, p-please"
I whimpered
Garte averted his eyes to my brother who was now trembling, hugging tightly to his specious toys.
He grinned.
"Hello Zane...heh, do you wanna know what happens when you misbehave?"
He laughed
He c-can't be serious!
I squirmed in his grasp.
"Get out of here Zane! Now!"
I ordered only to have my hair pushed down.
It hindered my breathing and prevented me from moving as his belt slashed down on my back repeatedly.
The pain erupted screams from my vocals, tears from my eyes and spasms running up and down my spine.
"Stop it! Please! D-Dad!"
I cried loudly, sobbing.
"I'm sorry! I-I'm sorry...i-i gh! Sorry"
I wailed.
Zane watched in horror, too stunned as to make any sort of reaction other than standing stiff in place.
"Sorry ain't gonna cut it! You pugnacious rat!"
He hit harder.
My toes flinched in with each beating, shaking my faint legs to eventually go limp with exhaustion and my breathes to turn hollow.
"P-Papa!"
Zane suddenly cried out, our father holding the belt mid-strike in the air.
...
He looked to the child, my torn back merely being petted by the belts ice cold buckle.
"P-Pa...pa"
My brothers eyes dwelled with tears as mine hung tiredly to the floor, bruised with redness as to my venomous cries.
"What"
My father spat
Zane remained silent, simply petrified.
As my father let go of me my extinguished body slipped down the side and fell limp amongst the floor, flinching with pain.
He dropped the belt and went to Zane who had now backed away into the corner, hiding behind a mini shelf.
That didn't provide much protection and as a result...I had to listen to him wail out in both fear and pain.
He had gripped Zane by the hair, yanking him rather roughly as to make him stumble to his knees repeatedly.
"S-Stop, you're hurting him...!"
I tried to yell, crawling slightly.
Zane could barely talk let alone walk, practically making Garte's fingertips tare more and more weak strands from his scalp due to his body weight.
However, that didn't stop him from retaliation.
Kicking, screaming, crying, he did it all...and I honestly admired his courage.
...
It meant nothing.
As Father dragged him out the room I just about scurried to my feet... barely.
"D-Dont hurt him!"
I pleaded only to have the door slammed in my face.
The impact struck me firmly, the inch of pain breaking me down into tears and causing me to slide down the cold wood.
"Don't-t h-hurt hi-im!"
I added, speaking through my sobs.
"Please damn it! D-Don't!... don't break him..."
He's all I got...