i have this mutual named shoeb. who has been my ultimate best friend since then, we met in my old account which is now deactivated due to the fact that it was a super toxic place out there. funny thing is, that place was extremely toxic to the fact that i was getting desperate and up until now, i still am, it's like every time i do this shit, and try to renew myself, everything just goes back to square one where i am such a toxic person.
moving on, he has been my absolute friend since back in my account. and we were ultimate partners. he would usually spam me with likes and support my every tweet, he supported me and always was there. whenever what happened with me, i always dash to him and rant things about things i cant tell my friends about.
this evening, i told him about what happened with esteban and i, on how we fought and i just wanted to let things out and i dont care if he did not gave any advice, i just want someone who i can rant with. i cant remember much that night, but i got so paranoid and kept tagging him just to look at my dms, cause i cant handle it anymore on waiting, i was clearly impatient and being anxious that i couldnt even process to what was i saying.
that same week, i was purely inactive on twitter and i wasnt posting much but all i can remember was just fighting with esteban and pointing my gun at him. i was getting mad, angry and disappointed of what he did. committing on an online relationship that he once said that he didnt want to commit one cause he opposes it.
shoeb told me to let it out. to tell him everything and letting it out for him. i was completely ranting on how esteban had made disappointed me. and made me angry and had made me want to throw a pile of papers at him and tell him how stupid he was.
i couldnt remember much, but all i can remember was i was being a complete paranoid ass that i couldnt take him ignoring my messages, as what i can remember, his twitter is being a bitch and glitches, his dm notifications wont pop up and it wont highlight if there is a new message.
so basically, he did not know that i was dming him. that i was already ranting out to him. i was just sitting in front of me computer, crying and rested my head on the desk and closed my eyes.
i silently cried. letting my parents not know about it.
YOU ARE READING
Letters before Death
General Fictionthe letters he wrote before he took his own life. said by the police that it could lead to answers, but what they read and saw is something far enough to be hidden and kept within the family and the court.
