My Otis

Ch.15

***short chapter sorry💔***

"Thank you for coming" the shrink said as I walked in and sat down.

"How are you Mrs...." he trailed off looking down at the paper

"Zvonecek... Amy Zvonecek" I said and smiled.

"Your Russian" he said

"Actually my husband is.. Uh was Russian" I said looking down.

"You've been through a lot haven't you Amy?" He asked me.

"I'm a tough girl." I said and looked up. His name tag said Daniels.

"That wasn't the question I asked Amy.." Daniels said.

"Yeah.. I've been through a lot" I said quietly

"You lost your husband.. that's a lot to deal with.. how long have you known your husband" Daniels asked.

"Over 7 years" I said as my eyes started to water.

"That a long time.. it does take a while to deal with that kind of pain" Daniels said.

"Tell me how you feel.. you can tell me everything is confidential" Daniels added. I looked at him and sighed.

""брат, я буду с тобой всегда" it means brother I will be with you always.. Brian said that before he passed away and it has been sticking with me ever since.. I feel like I'm in a dark hole and no light will ever get through you know? I-I'm trying to cope with it but I can't" I said as a tear came down my cheek.

"You won't be able to cope right away Amy.. there are bumps in the road but if you continue to just keep being you and going In the right direction light will come through the dark hole but if you continue to blame yourself for it than overtime that dark hole will burry you alive" he said and I nodded. He smiled lightly and got up. I also got up and he shook my hand.

"Alright.. I'll see you Thursday" he said and I nodded and left the clinic.

~~~~~~
(Play music now)

Once I got home I walked in and put my keys into the key bowl. I saw Brett and Cruz sitting on the couch watching tv. I forgot Brett moved back to Chicago.

"Hey" Cruz said. Brett smiled.

I smiled lightly and waved.

I walked into my room and took off my coat. I sat on my bed and slowly took off my shoes. Once my shoes were off I slowly looked up and saw my vanity with pictures on it and on the wall. I swallowed the lump in my throat and slowly got up.

I made my way to the pictures. I picked one up and it was our wedding picture at the church. My tears started falling down my cheeks.

I picked up another picture and it was when we graduated from the academy. Otis was hugging me as I held up my certificate.

I put both pictures down and looked at all the pictures on the wall. It basically went through our life together. It was pictures of us at the academy, and at Molly's when it first opened up, and even when we first got assigned to 51 together. I can't believe he's gone.

I looked further down the vanity and saw on the shelves below and saw all of Otis little action figures, and his little fire helmet award he won. Next to the vanity was the closet full of Otis clothes, I refused to get rid of any of Otis action figures or his clothes, I just don't have the heart to get rid of them. I looked to my left and saw Otis baby album, I picked it up and when I opened the page I saw his birth certificate, that really hit me because his death certificate was in my drawer. I backed up and hit the wall. A sob escaped my mouth as I slide down the wall. More sobs came out as I sat on the floor with my head in my hands.

He wasn't gonna ever come back.

Everything was blurry but I saw the door open and two figures above me. They were talking to me but i couldn't hear them. One of these figures walked out and a few minutes a tall figure walked in and I knew it was my dad.

My dad crouched down to me and brought me into a hug, I grabbed onto him and cried into his shoulder.

I loved and I loved and I lost you and it hurts like hell💔