What She Doesn't Know

Distractions

I’ve never been more distracted in my entire life, I swear I almost died thirty times just trying to drive to school. What am I going to do? I kissed Brayden, well he actually kissed me, while I am with Ashton! Seriously I am looking for the cameras, I am literally living in a soap opera. And it’s not like I had much time to move away, like it was just kiss and go. Like a hit and run! Do I tell Ashton? That seems like the best thing to do, but what if he gets all ‘hulk smash’ on me?!  I mean I know he would never hurt me, but Brayden, oh God Brayden.

            But why should I care? I mean he did kiss me, knowing full well I was with someone else, doesn’t he deserve it? At the same time, I probably deserve a serious beat down, for enjoying it so much! Which is weird, how could such a whisper of a kiss cause my heart to go into over drive? It was barely even a kiss! Probably not even worth the time telling Ash. I mean he would make a big deal out of nothing. Ok so conclusion, there is no way I am telling him.

            But wait! What if he finds out some other way and then he would really hate me? However, there is no way he would find out unless Brayden told him, and I am pretty sure he has more common sense than that. I will probably die of guilt though! I banged my head painfully against my locker, “Kill me now!!” Dying would really solve all of this a whole lot faster. It would be a shame to die in such a beautiful dress, ‘Thea you are one of the most beautiful girls I have ever met, don’t ever think anything lesser of your self.’ God why did he have to be so sweet!?

            “This is so unfair,” I moaned into my hands, my forehead pressed against my locker. “What’s unfair?” I jumped at the sound of his voice. Oh my gosh what is he doing here? I turned wide eyed towards the source of the voice, my brown eyes meeting grey. “What are you? Why are you? Brayden?!!?” He softly chuckled and placed his hand on my forehead, rubbing, “You probably shouldn’t be doing that to your pretty little head, darling.” Oh and who do you think you are calling me darling?

            “What are you doing here?” I hissed staring narrow eyed at him. “Oh I just came to see you,” came to see me? What? You are not helping anything Brayden! You little stink brain. He grabbed my hand and started dragging me towards a closet, a closet? Why does this feel like deja vu at its finest? “Brayden what are you doing??” He gently pushed me into the small room, and closed the door. “I decided I wanted more than I thought I did,” what is he talking about? “Wha-“

            I was about to give him a piece of my mind when his lips softly pressed against mine, and with that I lost all coherent thought. How come this boy’s lips are so soft? His hands came up and cupped my face softly. How come this feels so good? I lightly touched my hands to his neck, and kissed him back, with the same amount of tenderness. I don’t think I’ve ever kissed anyone so lightly. It was always, forceful. Like I was running out of time, but with Brayden it felt like he was taking his time. Memorizing all of it. Like he could kiss me all day long. My hands tangled into his hair, pulling him closer. I could probably kiss him all da-… I am kissing him?!

            What am I doing?! I pulled away as fast as I could pressing my hands to my mouth. Oh geez, I am such a terrible person. Kissing someone else, while my boyfriend is probably walking down the halls of this very school, looking for me. “I-I-I...” I couldn’t even form a sentence. What is this boy doing to me? “I probably shouldn’t have done that,” Ya think?!

            “But I couldn’t help myself,” great so now you are just some hormonal pervert who couldn’t keep their lips to themselves, great! “This probably isn’t the right time, and most certainly not the right place to say this, but I can’t wait. Thea I need- I…” I looked up at him from my curled up position on the floor. He took a deep breath and fell to his knees, so he was eye level to me. “The moment you fell, literally, into my life, I was a goner. I’m scared, thoroughly frightened. Like a child is scared of a clown, or the dark, I am scared you will hate me after this. I have learned so much about you since we first met in my back yard, and I presume you have learned much about me,” he pressed his forehead against mine, “But what you don’t know is, Thea, I love you.” His voice broke as he said my name, and tears fell down his face, “I love you so much, I adore everything about you, from your snarky comments at the dinner table, to your refusal to wear a dress.”

            I felt silent tears roll down my face, “You’re crying, I’m crying, you know we are a mess right?” I couldn’t help but laugh as I stared into his eyes. My heart was racing as I pressed the palms of my hands to his cheeks, “You know you just confessed to me in a janitors closet, the fumes are probably getting to our heads.” I leaned forward to press my lips to his, when the bell rang. The bell? School! We are at school! He just, he said... Ashton! I stood up quickly moving as far away as I could get from him, “You just- I can’t believe you!”

            He stood up quickly moving towards me, “Please don’t, just don’t get mad...” Don’t get mad?! “Mad? No no, I am beyond mad! I can’t believe you did all of this, I am with Ashton! You know this, and you! I can’t believe you!” I stormed out of the closet and didn’t even look back while I ran down the hallways towards the front of the school. “Thea?” I turned at the sound of his voice. Ashton stood there right beside the front door, as if he had just come. His blue eyes were full of worry as he stared at my tear stained face, “What happened?”

             “I-I..” “Thea!! Please come back!” I turned to see Brayden chasing after me, and with one last desperate look towards Ashton, I took off out the doors and towards my car. I could hear both of their feet slapping on the ground after me, but I was already leaving. I can’t do this. Not now. I quickly pulled out of the parking lot and sped down the road.

@1@

            I have been driving for what felt like hours but I knew it was only 10 minutes, and of course it would start raining now. This is like a movie, like one minute it is sunny and happy, but the moment something bad happens, rain! It was pouring, and since I was still blurry eyed from all the crying, I could barely see a thing. I turned on the windshield wipers as fast as they could go, but it wasn’t helping. Maybe I should pull over? No, driving is a distraction, if I stop now I will be alone with my thoughts. Maybe I should turn on the radio?

         Burn by Ellie Goulding started playing through the speakers. I winced at the annoying squeaking of her voice, yeesh I hate this song. I look back down at the dial to try to change the station, when suddenly all I heard was the sound of squealing tires. Tires? I looked up and my eyes locked with another driver’s horrified expression as their car swerved towards mine. There wasn’t any time to react, or to even think about what was happening next as the front of his car slammed into mine.

            I could hear the unmistakable sound of metal crushing metal. I watch horrifically as the hood of my car crumples against the one in front of me. The impact was so hard, I thought I was going to shatter into a million pieces, like my windshield. Glass flew everywhere, I could feel it pierce into different places in my skin. There was the sound of squelching metal, shattering glass, ripping flesh, and screams. Children screaming. I didn’t see children in his car before.

            There was another squeal of tires, I had just enough time to look in my surprisingly still intact rearview mirror, to see another car full of children approaching fast. There was nothing I could do. I just accepted the slam of another car hitting against the back of mine. I felt my body slam forward against my seatbelt, it ripping into the soft skin of my neck. My head banged against the hard steering wheel, more glass. More piercing. More pain. My vision filled with one color, red. Blood. The sounds of the screaming slowly faded away, there was just the sound of my heart beat slowing. Then the world turned back. It’s a shame to die in such a beautiful dress.