psychotic // l.h.

9 - kiss me

I felt bad for the last chapter being a filler so I thought of this part being a sort of character development part. It's pretty romantic but keep in mind that she does develop stockholm disease and this is the beginning of it.

Hope you like it and lot's of love -Em

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I moved back to the bed and lay down beside Luke, I could feel his body heat and almost had the urge to press myself into his chest. I wanted to so badly, I wanted to feel warm, I wanted to feel loved. But I still felt numb and empty. But I wanted him to kiss me, I knew I wanted him to kiss me.

 

I lay with my back away from him and I knew he was awake and I couldn't fall asleep.

 

"Honey?" He asked through the darkness, touching my shoulder lightly.

 

"Hm?"

 

"You know I love you with all my heart, right?" He asked, trialing his fingertips down my arm before reaching the top of my hand and stilling, waiting for me to show a sign of understanding.

 

"I don't know, Luke. What you do, the mental and physical abuse, it doesn't feel like love." I replied, and he entwined our fingers together. My hand was dead and limp, I refused to hold his hand back. He squeezed mine tightly and audibly sighed, probably closing his eyes in frustration.

 

"I do. I love you. Even if it doesn't seem like I do a lot of the time. I can't control my actions and I wish I could be better for you. You're a lovely, amazing woman and I really didn't think I could make you fall in love with me if I met you in person. I thought I had to take you or you would never come with me. I knew I either had to make you fall in love with me or kill you and now neither one is an option." He paused and I could hear in sniffle quietly before continuing with his speech,

 

"You're different from the others, you try to help me and understand me and you didn't hurt my feelings and make me hate myself when I hurt the other girls. If I was normal, maybe I could actually be in a real relationship with you. What I'm trying to say is, I'm sorry I'm like this and I hate myself for it but I can't stop."

 

"Luke, I have told you that I will try to help you as best as I can."

 

"I know, and that's why I love you." He muttered and was silent.

 

"What is it that draws you to specific women? What do they all have in common? I know you don't just go looking for random vulnerable people, so what do you look for?" I asked, the question having bugged me since the previous night.

 

He didn't answer for a few minutes and I thought he had fallen asleep before he spoke up.

 

"They all have something in common with her."

 

"My eyes." I whispered, everything clicking into place.

 

"Your eyes are the same as hers, but yours are warmer. Yours try to be kind and understanding and could make anyone feel loved. Same with your smile, your smile makes any person you give it to feel like you love them and only them. It's ridiculous how Ashton doesn't give a shit about you. I have no idea how he never noticed how and irresistible you are." He said, his voice loving and innocent. He sounded like a second grader confessing his love for the prettiest girl in class.

 

"I don't think a man has ever called me irresistible."

 

"Such a shame, because you are." He said, hesitantly allowing his hand up to trail along the nape of my neck, running the short hair at the back of the neck through his fingers. I heard him move forward and felt the warmth that I craved ever since I lay down pressed against me. His breath was tickling my skin as his lips were lazily pressing kisses along my neck. The kisses were muddy and tired but I didn't care because this is the Luke I loved, this caring, sappy boy who called me irresistible and gave me tired kisses just because he wanted to.

 

"You are like fire and I'm like ice. Fire melts the ice and that's how you make me feel. I melt when I'm around you. But either way your skin is like silk and I could touch it all day. And your hair smells like honey and your eyes are wide and bright." He said, spreading his fingers and pressing his palm on my up back, making goosebumps rise on my skin. I turned my head to look over my shoulder at him and his pale baby blues blinked back up at me as he continued sprinkling my skin with little pecks here and there.

 

"Kiss me." I said.

 

"Why?"

 

"Because no man not only has called me irresistible but also said I'm like fire and said my skin was like silk and my hair smells like honey." I reply and his expression softens and makes me feel like my heart is melted caramel.

 

"Please don't regret it."

 

"I won't, not this time."

 

And then he kissed me again. And it was lazy and tired and mucky but he tasted  of raspberries and chocolate, but maybe that's just what I wanted to believe. His hand was curled around my hip bone and was warm and comforting.

 

I shouldn't like kissing the guy who fucking kidnapped me and ripped away my life. But I kissed him anyway, something urging me on. He was soft and slow and stroked my hair away from my face. I think it was maybe the way his lips moved against mine, or maybe it was just the way he touched me or looked at me when he told me he loved me but I sunk into his warmth and wanted to drown in his scent. So I pulled myself as close as I could to him and his arm stayed tightly around my waist as I tugged at his hair and he sighed into my mouth.

 

He pulled my bottom lip in between his teeth opening his eyes and watching me as he teased me with his tongue and made me forget. Forget my mother, forget Ashton, forget my silly little sheltered life and made me feel in love.

We kissed until my lips were chapped and his were puffy and then he fell asleep with his mouth against my neck and my hands still tangled in that unruly blond hair of his.