When You're Ready

~The Solo Start~

Camila's P.O.V.

Right after I left the group, much to my dismay as there had been a great rip between all of our friendship, I unfollowed all of them especially our official page since I really felt so hurt after all the things they've told me and treated me. It seemed like they put all the blame on me over and over again, telling me that I was the one who got so arrogant that I chose to leave the group, to venture out and be a solo artist rather than staying and being with the girls. I was the one who's evil every time they make a statement in the social media, I thought they will talk to me right after the conflict, I thought that they would at least apologize for the painful words they all spoke to mem.. but they didn't.

Somehow I knew that waiting for them to apologize would only be a wishful thinking, with all the drama and stress, I think it's time to just stop dwelling on this problem and focus on being happy. It might be hard to move on but I should and I can, I should do everything in my power to move on no matter how hard or painful it might be. This is what I wanted, to become me, to act like me without no one forcing me to be someone whom I can't be.

The start of a new year also is a stsrtfor my career, Simon Cowel told me that he will wait for me whenever I'm ready to release an album. He'll give me enough time as much as possible until I will be able to write a song and hopefully release an album, I planned to do that this year, probably 8 songs but the album, when calculated it would probably be released next year as what Roger, Simon and I had talked about. Right now there had been a concept running in my mind, I just need to build a great story line and somehow connect myself with it before I start writing the lyrics.

I know that I will have a hard time writing and creating a story line but as an artist and a singer songwriter I know for sure that I can do it, I
if Shawn was able to do it when he's young then for sure I would be able to do it as well, I just need time and more and more concentration then in no time I will finally be able to have a song that I can proudly call my own.

"Camila, it's time to leave" Mama called me as she opened the door, she was already dressed and was super ready togo to the hospital.

"What time are we going to come back? Probably not late would it?" I still want to write songs, come up with sentences that would hopefully fit the song that I am creating as of now.

So far the only concept that I've fallen in love with and it keeps running inside my mind is about a woman who can't seem to move on, she felt so hurt with what the guy did to him, she tells herself that the guy is her life even if that's completely a lie. It's almost as if the song is telling a story about a girl who fell in love so deeply and when she got so hurt she thinks that its the end of the world for her. It was purely based in my imaginations as I've never really fallen for anyone that deep at this age and time! The thing with Austin hurted me but not too much since I knew that something like that is probably going to happen in the future.

"Nope, we just need to have your monthly check up today and then we'll eat outside then go home"

Mama has this crazy obession about my health, she worries that I'm too skinny even though I eat so much. Her worries started when I was having a balanced diet since the girls and I were really strictly being told to manage our weight so we can perform perfectly, mama saw this and tried to talk to the crew to make me eat more but they said that I'm completely fine and that I wouldn't need things like that. That's another reason why momwas so delighted with Shawn since he forces me to eat heavy food even if I wasn't allowed by the management. It was until I started to faint and have health isses that I was able to eat more, I did got a bit fat which was good according to my doctor, now we needed to get me checked since the stress I received last year seemed to take a toll on my body.