Dark Essence (Dark Symphony)

Dark Essence Poems #4

Name: Oblivion Essence

Poem: I found a hope of light only for it to be shattered.

It was the devils night but I fell in love with you it did not matter.

I knew from the beginning it was going to end.

Still I convinced myself that i was strong enough to play.

It felt like suicide but blindly I went head first.

It was something insatiable I could not handle my thirst.

Surreal and unrealistic is the description of my agony.

I did not know I could feel so much in my anatomy.             

The capacity of credibility was control by my desires.

I knew it was wrong but I never wanted it  to expire.

It was so gentle and chaotic you and me together.

It felt like it was a never ending circle going like a propeller.

I felt like I was hurting myself with misery.

I still lie to myself I told me it was victory.

Never ending love did not help me to get out.

My heart was so convinced there was never any doubt.

I lie to you to kept the torture going.

I did not think my love for you was still growing.

We laughed and smile till the sun came up.

We merged our bodies and drank from the same cup.

It had blood but it tasted like heaven.

Suddenly the clock hit 11:11.

I wish for you and me for always be a thing forever.

I did not expect for us to quit we agreed we had surrender.

I guess what I knew in the first place was always the truth.

I think i should not have toll you I love you, I should had stood mute.

I don't repent but I do feel hollow.

I don't know which road to go, which road to follow.

I ended in the hospital I wanted to end myself.

I even pray to god for it to be my time I did not get life itself.

I get up every day and put on my mask.

It been so long I really forgot my task.

I don't even want someone to find me and save me.

I just hope I can discontinue it pains me.

I wonder what she is feeling right now.

I just want her to be loved I don't care who I don't care how.

I knew from the start it was doomed but I choose to be condemn.

I was stupid and dumb but if I could I would do it again.

Meaning: Hope flickered in my heart, only to be mercilessly crushed. That night was like a devil's playground, but I couldn't resist falling for you. Deep down, I knew our love was doomed from the start. Yet, I convinced myself that I could handle it, blindly plunging into a dangerous game. It was an insatiable desire that consumed me, overwhelming my senses and clouding my judgment. Surreal and unrealistic were the words to describe the agony I felt. I never expected to feel so intensely, my entire being caught up in this destructive passion. My desires overpowered all sense of reason and control. Even though I knew it was wrong, I couldn't let go. The gentle chaos when we were together felt like a never-ending cycle, spinning round and round like a propeller. Despite the pain it caused me, I kept lying to myself, believing that this was love, this was victory. But deep down, I knew it was just a torturous trap that I couldn't escape from. We laughed and smiled until dawn broke through the darkness. In those moments, everything felt perfect and pure, as if we were meant to be together forever. But reality soon set in and we had to face the inevitable truth: we were not meant to be. And even though I knew this truth all along, admitting it still left a hollow feeling in my heart. Now every day is a struggle to put on a mask and pretend that everything is alright. But inside, I am lost and don't know which path to follow anymore. When it became too much to bear, I ended up in the hospital with thoughts of ending my life. But even then, I couldn't help but pray for more time with you. The pain of losing you is unbearable, but at the same time, I want nothing more than for you to find happiness with someone else who can truly love you without all the chaos and pain. I knew from the start that our love was doomed, but I chose to condemn myself anyway. I was foolish and blinded by my own desires, but if given the chance, I would do it all over again for just a moment with you.

Experience: I chased after a glimmer of hope, only to have it shattered into a million pieces. It was the darkest night imaginable, yet I still found myself falling for you, despite knowing it would end in disaster. I deluded myself into thinking I could handle the pain that I knew would come. It was like willingly walking into death, but my obsession with you drove me forward. The intensity of our passion was both intoxicating and destructive, overwhelming every part of my being. I couldn't resist the pull towards you, even though deep down I knew it was wrong. We were like two forces colliding, endlessly circling each other without ever finding an escape. In the midst of the chaos and agony, I convinced myself that what we had was true love, until reality came crashing down on us. Our love wasn't enough to save us, and we both knew it. Yet even as we agreed to let go, a small part of me wanted to hold on forever. But now, as I lie in this hospital bed, broken and alone, I realize that my actions were foolish and destructive and yet, if given the chance, I know I would make the same mistakes all over again, for my love for you knows no bounds. I can only hope that she is happy now, loved by someone else who can give her everything I couldn't. As for me, I am lost and hollow, unsure of where to go or what to do next. Every day I put on a mask to hide my pain and carry out my tasks like a robot, but inside I am slowly dying. I don't even want anyone to save me from this agony anymore; all I want is for it to end and yet, despite all of the pain and sadness, there is a small part of me that wishes things could go back to how they were before: when we laughed and smiled until sunrise and our love was all that mattered. But I know deep down it was doomed from the start, and I have no one to blame but myself. I may have been foolish and reckless, but if given the chance, I would do it all again for just one more second with you.